JUST NONSENSE

Radio Record, Volume I, Issue 28, 27 January 1928, Page 15

JUST NONSENSE

. " " No Improvement. ¥ Lily: "I’ve just come from the beauty parlour,’? Grace: ‘They were shut, I suppose.™ Charlie’s mother went upstairs after he was in bed to kiss him ‘Goods night." . She found his eyes were closed and he had all the appearance of being asleep. Then in a drowsy, tone and evidently in earnest -he said: ‘Guess, mamma, whether I’se asleep or awake,"? Saving Time. Mother: ‘Were you good at the party ?"’ Six-year-old: ‘Yes."" Mother: "You didn’t ask twice fot atiything at the table?" Six-year-old: "No, I didn’t. I asked once, and. they didn’t hear me, so I helped myself." A Shocking Mistake. Emigration Agent: "Arce you a mecliailic ?" Indignant Emigrant: "No, I’m 4 Macphairsen!" Such Fine Legs Too! Tommy (who has just been given a bulldog pup for a birthdav present) s "Oh, mother, do von think ‘lohv ought to be so near the fire? Just look at his legs; it’s warping them!" Realm of Fancy. "Now, Jolinny,"? said the schoolmaster during an examination in geogravhv, "what is the axis of the earth ?"? "The axis of the earth," said Johnnv proudly, "is an imaginary line which passes from one nole to the other, and on which the earth ree volyes."’ "Very good," exclaimed the teacher. "Now. could von hang clothes on that line, Johnny?" "Yes, sir," was the reply. "TIndeed,’’ said the examiner, a little disconcerted, "and what sort of clothes ?"? "Imaginary clothes, sir.’ In Miniature. "Oh, mother, mav I go to the fancye dress ball to-morrow as a milkmaid 2?" "No; you are too smafi.’"’ "Then may I go as a condensed milke maid?" Not Such a Fool! Indignant passenger in the trais (shouting to Highland porter as the train moves off}: ‘Hi, porter, vou fool! Why isn’t mv luggage in the train?" Porter (with suitcase in his hand)? "Wha’s the fule? Yer lugeage isna sae daft aa yersel. Ye’re in th’ wrang train!’ The ‘*Moust’’-Ache. Marv: "Mummnie, is ‘moust’ anothef word for ‘tummy’ ?"’ Motlter: ‘There is no such word, darling." Mary: "But I am alwavs_ readin: about people who have moust-aches."* Weod Turned Into Metal. Tf a light wood is transposed, The letters put another way, \ heavy metal is disclosed, Now, what’s that metal? Can yor say ? Answer: Tead (deal). Those who have me not do not wish for me; those who have me co not wish to lose me: those who win mé have me no longer -A_ lawsuit. A Duet. "T am told that vou have twin baby brothers now," a lady said to a litthé hov. "Do thev ery much ??’ . "They dol"? said the bov in disqust. "Why, each one cries so loud thaf you can’t hear the other!’ The Boy With the Doukev Cart, "Hullo, my tad, would vou like té drive me round the park in that??? "Yes, but I don’t think the harnes¢ would fit vou!’