The Chit-Chat Club

Radio Record, Volume I, Issue 18, 18 November 1927, Page 3

The Chit-Chat Club

Points from Papers Pui "Over the Ain."

£Set Down by

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"Nonsense, sir,’"’ said the oldest member vehemently, "‘any pedestrian is entitled to the road as much as a car. If I get half a chance I'll. make these blessed car drivers get out of the road." — "And one of these days," said Blinks, looking prophetically over the top of his huge horn-rimmed glasses, ‘they'll put you out of their road. A fair thing’s a fair thing, and there are pedestrian road hogs as well as motorist road hogs." "That’s true," affirmed Larton, who, having but recently bought a ear, felt keenly on the matter. "But the motorists are the worst," said Wishart. "After all, a pedestrian has only his own life to fool ‘with, but a motorist has his own and a dozen others as well." ; "A car properly driven," said Thribs portentously, "is never a}’ menace. It’s only when fools get behind the wheel that it becomes dangerous." , "Wisdom from our profiteer,’"’ said Blinks facetiously. "Wonders will never cease. Do you know, Winton, your very sentiments were expressed ‘over the air’ recently by Mr. R. W. Robson, Traffic Inspector for Riccar. ton Borough Council. And I might add,’"’ said Blinks, with a twinkle, "he

indicated that there were some idiots of pedestrians who didn’t know how to cross roads."’ "They shouldn’t issue so many licenges,’’ said Harrison. ‘‘Half the people who drive should, never be allowed near a car." "That's all very well," said Blinks. ‘"‘When they go up for a license they can and do drive all right. Once they’ve got it they disregard every rule of the road. How can a traffic inspector know they're going to do that?" "What I’d do," growled the oldest member, "is to tie up the carburettors so that they couldn’t get more that 25 miles an hour out of any car. I'd fix ’em, and," he added vindictively, "if I got a hold of the young devil who nearly ran me down last night, I’d give him ten years." "Didn't you get out of his road qnicnly enough?" asked Blinks innocen "I "aian’t damn well try to,’"’ said the oldest member, ‘‘and he had the

cheek to brush me aside with his ea:. I'd make him..,." "T don’t. think the penalties for speeding and other offences are heavy enough," said Harrison, to change the topic and divert the stream of eloquence that usually poured forth. "Mr. Robson: agreed with that to ‘some extent," said Blinks. "He said that in cases. where carelessness’ was proved, licenses sheuld be cancelled, and where drink was responsible, gaol should be added. to the punishment." "With a minimum of ten years," said the oldest member fiercely. "Just as well you don’t drive, or you'd be a ‘lifer’,’"’ said Blinks. "T can hold my drinks," said the oldest member. "That's exactly what the blighters who drive cars when drunk think,"

affirmed Blinks. "No one who has even a couple aboard should go driving a car, for it makes them take risks." "Once a chap’s had a car for a while he gets careless,’’ said Wishart. "There's no reason why he should," said Larton, who, being a new and careful driver, thought that he would ever remain so. "Take most of the accidents that happen on the Hutt road" said Blinks, "‘and hardly a week goes by but that there isn’t a minor one. They are all caused through chaps aking unnecessary risks, and so are most of those in the towns. As Mr. Robson said, every motorist should slow down and give a signal indicating his intention at all vorners, and should sound his horn at all crossings. Any fellow who speeds round corners should have his license cancelled. The type of fellow who says he has been driving for years, and that his brakes will pull the car up in a few ae is about the most dangerous of all. "Those rules are all very well for the towns," said Wishart, "but what about the hills and dangerous roads such as the one over the Rimutakas?"’ "There’s really no more need for accidents there, than anywhere else," said Blinks. "I’ve been over there with chaps dozens of times, and its a jolly good road. If the downhill motorist would always give way to the man coming up the hill, there would be few accidents even on dangerous hill roads." "I'd prosecute the jolly cyclists who get in the centre of the road and stick there," said Larton, "and the pedestrians who did so too." "You’d play the Devil, you would," said the oldest member annoyediy. "1’ll rush out of the way of no infernal car." "Mr. Robson agrees that pig-head-ed cyclists and pedestrians deserve no sympathy," said Blinks. "There will have to be stricter rules about them in the cities, and they will have to be prosecuted for by-law breaches as well as the motorists. It’s a difficult problem, and a rapidly growing one, and it’s only by fair play on all sides, | and more care on the part of the motorists, that we can get along

without more accidents and fatalities that we have to-day." "What the old ’un here needs,’ said Brenton, the physical culture fiend, "is the bit more physical training to reduce that corpulent feeling, and let him spring out of the way of the motor." ' "Physical training-ugh," said the oldest member disgustedly. "We didn’t need it in my young day, sir. What did we do? Walked our ten, fifteen or twenty miles a day, did our work, and drank our three, four or five bottles, like men. Those were the days." ‘They were," said Blinks satirically. "Most of your drinking partners have been dead for twenty years or more. Killed most of them off before they were fifty." "Look at me," said the oldest member proudly. "A beautiful picture indeed," said Blinks. "Apollo after his fortieth carousal we could call it." : "Damme, sir,’ said the oldest member, flaring up at this indication of his habits, "I'd have run you throngh if you’d said that when I was twenty. Would physical culture do me any ood?" "Tt might," said Brenton critically. "But I suppose you’re too far gone really. Have you forgotten Napoleon?"’

q "No, I haven’t,’"’ said the oldest member irascibly. "But what the deuce has he got to do with physical culture? He never took it." "No, to his sorrow," said Brenton. | "Tf he had, the world’s history might have been very different. He started as a young, fit, keen-brained general, -and ended up a corpulent wreck, fleeing in a cab from his last battlebroken and decrepit through overeating and under-exercising." "Who told you that, Brenty?" queried Thribs. "I’ve never heard that said. before.’ "Tt was in a recent physical culture lecture of Norman Kerr’s,"’ said Brenton. "He was pointing out how entirely dependent we are on our bodily health for success, and quoted Napoleon as an instance of what can eccur when physical fitness vanishes. I don’t know whether his listeners can all appreciate the somewhat heavy points he is inclined to make, but underneath them, there is sound commonsense. With proper exercise, the muscles, the lungs and the body can be trained to give maximum efficiency," "Health is an asset that we all treat too lightly,’ said Thribs. "There’s something in physical culture, believe me.’ "You bet,’ said Blinks. ‘"There’s weight reduction as far as you’re concerned, eh Winton? Down to the thirteen stone mark yet?" "Not yet, but I will be before the end of the summer," said Thribs good naturedly, "It’s the rotten food we eat that does half the trouble," said Brenton. "As Norman Kerr said, civilisation’s a disease, and our nerves were never meant to stand the strain of modern hustle. The healthiest chaps in the world to-day are the peasants in Russia and Ireland." "Well, why the Devil don’t you go and join them?" said the oldest member, whose temper was never improved with physical culture talks. "And take that Kerr man with you." "These peasants," said Brenton, ignoring the interruption, "live on black bread, potatoes and other fogds like that. As Gene Tunney, the world champion boxer, said: ‘Exercise, fresh air, enough sleep, the right food, und refusing to worry are the things to keep you fit. " "Tl tell you a lecture that fascinated me," said Harrison. "It was one from 1YA on a new book called ‘The Edge of the East.’ " "[’m sick of that Suez stuff," said Brenton, "Too much of the shick stuff in it for me." "This is different," said Harrison, "It’s a book written by F, Horace Rose, and it deals with a trip from Durban in East Africa up the Coast and through the Mediterranean ports to England. The lecturer said that the book, unlike so many of those travel books, was always interesting. The writer doesn't think much of the Portuguese, and gives interesting pen

pictures of a new and strange word seen in the ports visited. He has a wonderful opinion of Nyasaland, Listen to what he says: ‘Nyasaland is one of the comparatively _ little known achievements of colonisation which makes Great Britain the marvel and envy of the world. Locked away in the heart of the dark Continent, given over only a few years ago to the most appalling barbarism, and sunk in sloth, ignorance and superstition of countless ages, it poss. sses today a regular railway service, settlements lit by electricity, vast tracts under scientific cultivation, an export trade in some of the most profitable products of the carth, a highway 500 miles long, a good stable | government and other evidences of. law and order.’ Mozambique, Zanzi-

TEE En eee bar, Mombasa, and dozens of other little known places creep into this fascinating volume...." . "As far as the Mediterranean is concerned," said Thribs, "it would be hard to hear a better address than that given by Stanley Bull some little time ago. He dealt with the trip from England, through the far-famed Bay of Biscay, and out through Gibraltar, Marseilles, and Italy to Port Said-that sink of the world’s iniquity." ~ "From what he says the approach to Marseilles is most picturesque, and the town looks well from the sea, but closer inspection makes one realise the truth of the old adage "all is not gold that glitters.’ Stromboli, that ever active volcano of Southern Italy, must be a magnificent sight, especially at night, while the romantic isle of Crete, figuring in Biblical times, seems to have hit his imagination."

"Port Said springs upon ‘one’ sude denly on the horizon, the town seeme ing to stretch up out of the water itself. There is no suggestion of the brilliancy of the East about Port’ Said at first glimpse, and Mr. Bull described it as a medley of strange nationalities. Although Port Said is supposed to be the most wicked city in the world-with the possible exception of Yankeeland’s Chicagoit doesn’t bear the marks of its sing outwardly. Like many another plac¢ famed for its vice, the traveller haf to take the stories as gospel, havin no opportunity to prove or disprov them." "Oh, for a life on the ocead wave," sighed Blinks. . "Especially across the Bay of Bis cay," said Harrison cynically. ‘"Conw fort with a capital C, and a big arny chair is your forte, Blinks. You’r not cut out for the adventure m boy." "Adventure and romance died fort years ago,’ said the oldest membe "when I was a young man.’ "¥ almost believe you’re right fot. once," said Blinks, with a shade o wistfulness in his voice, "but as i late I’m not going to argue about it.

DRUNKEN MOTORISTS. "Cancel all licenses in cases of proven carelessness, and where drink is responsible add the penaliy of gaol. Why should the use and enjoyment of one of the finest inventions of the age be choilt by cuch fAcoble?"

R. W.

ROBSON

Traffic Inspector, Riccarton, From 3Y A.

Pertinent Points on: "CARS AND CARELESSNESS "PHYSICAL FITNESS." "ON THE EDGE OF THE EAST." "A MEDITERRANEAN TRIP."

THE VALUE OF HEALTH. "It’s a shame more people don’t know what a great thing it is to be healthy through sane living. I not only don’t smoke or drink, but I have honestly made a-serious study of diet, training, and phyhical conditioning."

GENE

TUNNEY

Champion Heavy-weight of the World.

THE EDGE OF THE EAST. "I prophecy that long after London and New: York are as dead as Memphis, our African cities will be rearing their magnificence beneath the tropic sun to be the wonder of history and the envy of the svorld."

F. HORACE

ROSE

Journalist and author.