LIMERICKS

Radio Record, Volume I, Issue 13, 14 October 1927, Page 15

LIMERICKS

A thrifty young fellow of Shoreham, | Made brown paper trousers and woreham, Ife looked nice and neat Till he bent in the strect, To pick up a pin, then he torcham, As @ beauty, I om not @ star, There are others more handsome by far, But my face, I don’t mind it, For I am behind it; It’s the people in front, get the jar. -Both sent by McNie. There was ax old man of Dunoon, Vho always ate soup with a spoon, When they. said, "Is it slow?" Iie answered, "Oh, nO, I find it a positive boon,’ There once was a farmer of York, Who made all his fortune in pork; He bought for his daughter, A tutor who taughter To balance green peas on her fork. There was a young lady of iethedd Who smeared herself vver with butter; She looked very well, But they say that the smell Was too utterly, utterly utter? There was a young lady of Weedle When in church she sat down on a needle It was luckily threaded And not far embedded, | And quickly pulled out ‘by the beadle. HER NEIGHBOUR’S VOICE When entertaining the children re- cently, Uncle Sam of SYA gave an exhibition of his powers of mimicry. And this is what one of his nephews told him happened in his home :- "It might interest you to know that onr Mrs, Cat appreciated your efforts on Saturday night. She was asleep on a couch in another room, but the instant the "cat fight’? she darted in and over to the set, She sat down and stared intently at the loudspeaker. There is no doubt that she was keenly interested. The Tunney-Dempsey fight had no more intent listener. But when the dog barked, her ears went back, and she made a discreet i, A. D., Linwood.

UNCLE SAM’S DITTY GIVEN FROM 3YA. . There’s a radio station in the towuin the town, And there old Uncle sits him downsits him down; And tells his tales with rapture free, A-thinking all the time of you and mé, Fare you well, for we must leave you, Do not Ict this parting grieve yor, But remember that the best of friends minst part-imust part. Adieu, atlieu, adicu, adicu, adieu, adicit, We can no longer stay with you-stay with you. We'll close down now till we meet you all again, And hope youll all keep merry and bright till then. QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS No one quite tells me what I want to | know; | They answer me-and thal’s the end of that. For if I ask, "IVhat makes a flower grow?" Their answer wouldn’t satisfy the cat? If I say, "Daddy, why should snow be white ‘ And fall in crystals, no one like the other?" He mumbles gruffly, while he strikes @ light, "Pin busy, Tominy. Run and ask your mother!’ But mother, when I ask why cuckoog cuck, Just stares at me and says, "God | made them so," . And gives me such a wise and solemn look, IVhich means, of course, she really doesn’t know. And Nannie's way is diffrent altogether, For if I ask why winter days get colder, She gives a grunt and says, "Oh, it’s just the weather; Yowl understand all ihat when yeu grow older!" -Algernon Blackwood. COFFEE-POT FACE Coffee-pot face both long and thin, Pelican neck and leathery skin; Frumpery nose that points straight dow, Forehead crumpled with crease anid frown! Lips pursed up in ugly pout, Eyes that sulkily shift about. O coffee-pot face is in disgrace! Coffee-pot, coffee-pot, coffee-pot face, It?s a teapot face that is my delight, Chubby and jolly, merry and bright! Apple-pie round and cheerfully red, And: smiles that tickle and ripple and spread! Lips that wrinkle and entrance, Eyes that twinkle, laugh and dance, A teapot face chock-full of glee, | 4 teapot face is the face for me!