The Chit-Chat Club

Radio Record, Volume I, Issue 12, 7 October 1927, Page 3

The Chit-Chat Club

Points from Papers Put "Over the Air."

(Set Down by.

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"Tf I had my way," said the oldest member emphatically, "«’d make any fool who bought a wireless set pay *a tenner a year. Thirty shillings is a ridiculously small tax for idiocy." ‘We'd lead a hard life if you ever got your way," said ‘Blinks,’ socalled because of his huge horn rimmed glasses and his habit of blinking suddenly at you, as though to reintorce his argument. "The 30s. license is a fair thing, but the difficulty is to get it enforced so that every listener pays." The "wireless bugs" of the X club were safely esconsed in the big armchairs in their own little corner, and the conversation had drifted on to the question of the many unlicensed sets. * , "It’s only a matter. of having inspectors to go round and see where. all the aerials are," said ‘Vishart. ‘Surely that is simple enough." "Tt isn’t as easy as that at all," said Winton Thribs, "for there are hundreds of little crystal .ets here in Wellington, where they haven’t got an outside aerial. How can an inspector find an inside aeriai? Me can’t roam into your house and start looking under your beds to see whether you have sets concealed there," —

"No, but they are getting ways of doing it all the same,’’ said Drexter, ‘fand there’s going to be a great old round up during the next few months. They’ll be starting to confiscate the sets soon-and it will serve the unlicensed blighters. right. They’re jolly bad sports, for if every set were licensed there’d be thousands more a year to spend on the programmes, and we would get better items." "In my young days they horsewhipped anyone who didn’t play the game," said the oldest member fiercely. ‘‘‘and that’s what some of them need." ‘J wonder how those fading tests are getting on," said Thribs. "It will be a great thing if they can find out what’s the cause of the fading that’s experienced in some districts." "There's been great interest taken in the tests," said Blinks, "and hundreds of papers are now coming to hand.’ The experts who are working on the problem are hopeful of a lot of assistance from the tests." "I’ve never noticed any fading at all, as far as Wellington is concerned," said Drexter, "‘in fact the hardest thing is to make it fade out when {I want to get an Australian station." "We're lucky here, of course," said Thribs, "being so close to the station. It:seems worse in certain districts, and I’m inclined to think that it will be found that some atmospheric troubles are responsible for it.’ "The more I see of wireless," said Wishart, who had but recently become a devotee, "the more wonderful it seems to me. I was up in the King Country last week, at Ohakune to be exact, and was just deploring the fact that I wouldn’t be able to hear one of Lieut. Burt’s lectures on Arctie exploration. Lo! and behold, the’ place where I stopped had a set,. and I heard every word, as if he were talking in the room. And a jolly good address it was too." "Wasn’t it just?" said Brenton, who, being a great outdoor man, took the keenest interest in all exploration work. "It must have given them a great old thrill when that glacier broke off, only a few feet from the boat, and nearly sunk them."’ "One thing about the lecture that

impressed me particularly," continued Wishart, "was his graphic description of life in the ‘engineroom. When you’re travelling in comfort in the saloon you forget the fellows who are toiling away down in the bowels of the ship. Just imagine what it must have been like when they were making their way through the ice floes, the ice serunching and grinding outside, and a succession of ‘full aheads,’ and ‘full astern’ coming down from the bridge. As Lieut, Burt said, the men on deck could see where they were going, but the engine-room staff were working on the blind." "The poor devils must have had a hard time when that propellor smashed. Lieut. Burt was working for hours in the icy water, fixing it. Arctic exploration must be full of thrills at any time, but I reckon the chaps who get the worst of them are the engine-room staff. Those lectures of his are well worth hearing, and I’m going to be on the air for thé rest of them." — "Talking of thrills," said Larton, ‘who had just arrived, "I reckon about the two best a chap could get would be a view of the Yosemite Valley, and the Grand Canyon of Arizona. Did you hear that address of Stanley Bulls’s from 1YA on a trip to those places?"’

"No," said Blinks, "but I should think they would be quite good." ‘They were," affirmed Thribs. "I hope I can get away for a decent holiday next year and...." | "Blow in some of my beastly twenty per shent profits," interposed Blinks, with an expressive gesture. "They’re ligitimate trading profits, anyway," said Thribs in a hurt tone. "Too right," agreed Blinks, "all’s fair in love and business. ‘Get ’em in and take ’em down’ is the motto of the house of Thribs, isn’t it?" "Mr. Bull said,"’ continued Larton, ignoring the interruption, "that the two were the wonder sights of America. To get to the Yosemite Valley from San Francisco, you take the railway to a place called Raymond. and then go by char-a-bane a distance of seventy miles to the valley. for two and a half hours you are driven through forest land, on a road which reaches a height of six thousand feet. There’s so much forest that it becomes monotonous, unti at last you come to ‘Inspiration Point,’ where you meet a sight that can never be forgotten. From your height of 6000 feet you look down into the valley, which is seven miles long, half a mile wide, and bounded by cliffs over a mile in height. "Just imagine it, At the foot of those cliffs there is summer-flowers, beautiful trees-at the top is winter and eternal snow. So high are the cliffs that huge oak trees half way up look, to the traveller, like green mountain moss, Wonderful rapids, beautiful waterfalls, and gorgeous scenery make the place a veritable fairyland." "The grand canyon is more wonderful, affirmed the oldest member. "T was across in 1898. No concrete roads then, nor motor cars. We did the trip by rough old coaches and afoot. What with their concrete roads and motor cars, these trips are made too easy." "But think how much more you can see now," said Blinks. "Give me the good old days," said the oldest member. "IT remember...." "What did Stanley Bull say about the Grand Canyon?" said Blinks, determined to-stop the reminiscences of the oldest member, as they, in common with the brook, were apt to "go on for ever." "He said that it was 12 miles wide, and 217 miles long, and at the bottom of it flowed the Colorado Riverone of the greatest of the American rivers. Apparently you come to the canyon without any warning, and there’s a straight drop of a mile to where the river winds its way below the fearsome cliffs. It would seem that this huge rent has been made at some time in the earth’s surface, and at the bottom there are hills and mountains, and flame-coloured sands. It must surely be one of the greatest sights of the world, and I hope IT can get a chance to see it next year." "And if you’re wanting a valet to assist in blowing in the ill-gotten gains, you know where to find him," added Blinks, "See New Zealand first,’ is my motto," said Wishart. "I’ve been over most of the South Island, but: I haven’t seen the Waitomo Caves and Rotorua as yet. I wonder whether the Yosemite Valley is much more wonderful or more beautiful than the bush scenery on the MotuOpotiki road. The outlook to White Island, which throws up its sulphurous fumes in the dim distance is superb. Looking over a sea of exquisite hush stretching almost to the horizon, you see the hazy outlines of this sulphurous island silhouetted in the furthest distance. For twenty .miles the road winds over hills, and through narrow gorges, and I can’t imagine that there is anything much finer in the world." .--y "I believe we do underestimate our own country's beauty right enough," agreed Blinks, "Siz Henry

New Zealand’s progress, and he was amazed both with ¢ 1r natural beauty spots, further developed by the hand of man, and with the progress we have made." "Every farm home should have its wireless set," said Thribs. "And probably will, when you middlemen reduce your blessed profits sufficiently to allow them to make a decent living," said Blinks. "It’s all very well for us fellows in town. We have the choice of a theatre, the pictures, some musical entertainment -or a night with the wireless. Go away out back, where the nearest railway station is five or six miles away and what have you got?" "To get back to Sir Henry Cowan though, he seems to have been impressed with the progress of our cities. He’s a great believer in interEmpire trading, and was delighte with the proof we have given by our altered tariff, that we are anxious to help the Motherland in solving her trading troubles. ‘After many years,’ he concluded, ‘I have come back to see an infant State fully grown to ‘a vigorous manhood, and I shall leave the shores of this wonderful Britain of the Pacific, convinced that it will continue to grow and to prosper, and that its union with the land from which its sons have sprung is a union which can never be broken’." "And what is it that has put us where we are to-day?" queried Thribs, and then, answering his own question, "the farmer. You can’t get away from it, the farmer is the cause of our prosperity. ‘Dammed growlers," said the oldest member fiercely. "They’re always howling about something. If prices are high, its their taxes, and if they’re low, they squeal that they’re or. their last legs." "Their bark isn’t as bad as their b::e," said Thribs, "and anyway, they have something to complain about." "You bet," said Blinks. "They aren’t like some people. They can’t ~~ Cowan gave an address recently on —

roam along to a comfortable club for half the day, and call for whiskies and soda every ten minutes. They work about three times as hard and twice as long as most of us, and they haven’t our amenities,’ ‘And of all farmers, the dairyfarmer works the hardest," affirmed Thribs. *T heard an address about the dairy industry last week, given by Mr. Brash, secretary of the Dairy Produce Board," said Wishart. "It was excellent, and dealt with the development of our export trade." "Yes," agreed Thribs. "It was good. Being interested in the industry...." "And in the divvies I get from the hard working farmer," said Blinks, who could never resist the temptation to have a dig at Winton.... "I made a point of listening-in to it," continued Thribs completely ignoring the interruption. "Mr. Brash -is particularly well qualified to deal with it, incidentally, as he has been connected with it from the earliest days. He traced the development of dairying from the time the first cow was milked, showing the gradual expansion." "You couldn’t cool store it then, could you?" queried Brenton, displaying a lamentable ignorance of our greatest industry. "No you could not," said Thribs, "and once the farmers were making more butter than they could use, they had the Devil’s own job getting rid of it. For a while the storekeepers used to buy it, and then later they mixed butter from different farms together, and sent it to Australia. One very interesting fact disclose during the lecture was that only last season the Dairy Produce Board shipped a small quantity of milled butter for a grocer. This had prooably come from farms far removed from a dairy factory, and the farmrs, got only a few pence a pound for i "Did you handle it for them?" said Blinks innocently. "No, I didn’t," said Thribs, "and when I do, I handle it only on a commission basis." "When che storekeeper was buying the farmer's butter he was paying only a small price, and was mak. ing the farmer take out the value in goods, in just the same way as done with eggs to-day. As butter production increased, the farmers realised that this was not satisfac. tory, and the first factories were established, buyers of dairy produce taking their output at a definite price per pound. "How much of our butter goes to England, and how much to other |

markets?" asked Blinks. ; "Last season we produced 2,800,000 boxes of butter and 1,000,000 erates of cheese, and of this 2,570,109 boxes of butter and 992,250 crates of cheese went to England, so she is by far our most important customer. New Zealand supplies 20 per cent. of the butter and 50 per cent, of the cheese consumed in England. an "Possibilities of other markets have not been overlooked, and during recent years the trade to the East has been steadily 'growing. Our ‘local market absorbs 480,000 boxes, ‘and Mr, Brash says that to-lay the quality of the butter put on the loca} market is as good as that exported." *T can’t agree with that," said Blinks. ‘Most of the second grade butter is used locally, and people in tLe towns have to buy it willy, nilly. It should be compulsory for all butter sold in shops to be marked as "finest," "first grade," or "second grade," so that the purchaser would know what he’s getting." "I believe that would be a good scheme," said Brenton. "People would eat more butter, if they could get the very best. It’s no use saying we get it, because we don’t, and I could name half a dozen brands sold in Wellington which are distinctly second grade." "Mr. Brash doesn’t share the fear of some producers that there is going to be an over production of butter and cheese in the world," continued Thribs, "and says that now that the health-giving properties of dairy produce are becoming better known, the sales will increase in all countries. Although the United States has huge expanses of farming country, she is finding it difficult to provide ‘dairy produce for her 100,000,000 people." "Will the dairyfarmers get better prices this year?" queried Blinks. "That’s the thing that worries them most these days." "Mr. Brash inclines to the opinion that they will. He showed that both Canadian and Argentine experts are uv to the present much reduced this year, and that Australia is likely to be late in exporting this season. Prices have risen steadily lately, the stores on London are emptier than they have been for years, and the prospects are very hopeful." "Y’m glad to hear it," said Blinks. "And now, as Winton here will be making bigger profits than ever, he’s going to turn it on before’ we go home." And just to show that he wasn’t quite the mercenary profiteer that Blinks alleged him to be, Thribs called for drinks for the "bugs" ’ere they departed to their homes for another evening "fon the air."

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