The Chit-Chat Club

Radio Record, Volume I, Issue 7, 2 September 1927, Page 7

The Chit-Chat Club

Poinis from Papers Put "Over the Air." .-

{Set Domn by

Telanother

WOOOCOOO0DO0CO0COBOCGO06G0In this Chit Chat Ciub "Telanother" reviews prominent talks given over the air. 6, South Africa." 9 ' "Our Rugby Chances in "The Wonders of the Heavens." "New Zealand Plant Life,."’ "More Steps to Health." HID OLY HHH YY YY eae

Winton Thribs had just concluded ¢ a very satisfactory deal and feeling} that some celebration was needed, hurried along to the X club. Arrived there, he found that Harrison: and Brenton were the only two members there, so calling for refresh-: ments, the three took seats by the] lerge open fire and began to chat on various subjects. Eventually the talk came round to football, and the form shown by the various provinces. "It seems to me," saiu Brenton, who, being a keen physical culturist and outdoor man, posed | as an authority on the game, "that: we are going back. Take the pro-; v. ial contests this season. They \...2 Very disappointing, and in the} case of the Hawke’s Bay v. Wairarapa match we saw nothing in the} way of football at all. It was merely a dog fight. I know one schoolmaster who was furious to think that his boys had seen the game, which was supposed to be a meeting of two. champion teams," , "T think it was merely a case of. local feeling in that match," said: Thribs. "I think our standard is better than ever. It seems to me that our players use their brains more than they used to. I believe we’ll put up a much better showing against the South Africans next year than we did in 1921." "T heard a ripping address over the. wireless about our chances," said Harrison. "It was given by Mr. T. A. Fletcher, and he thinks that we’ve got a pretty good chance next year. He showed the difference between the styles of play of New Zealand and South Africa, but said that he ‘beeg our style would turn out the est.’

"They play a different forward formation, don’t they?" said Thribs. "Yes," replied Harrison, "They play eight forwards as against our seven, but they don’t put them down in the scrum in the orthodox British formation of 3-2-3. Instead they use a 8-3-2 formation. Last time they were here they sometimes used a 4-4 formation, the scrum thus consisting of only two rows. Under the new) rules though it is illegal to pack more than three men down in the front row." | "Quite right too," said Brenton. ‘Mr, Fletcher believes if the opposing teams next year are abont equal in merit, the victories in the main, will go to the team with the superior system of attack. He believes that we in New Zealand have a better attacking formation than the South Africans."’

"fT don’t know so much apout that,’ said Brenton. "They put it across us last time you know." } "Yes, but we’ve been quick to Jearn the lessons from those victories, and have improved our forward play in recent years. The old slow moving forward has given way to the fast moving forward who is at all times ready to assist the backs with their work, If we can get our big heavy’ fast moving forwards to adopt the latest methods of handling, the bali, Mr. Fletcher thinks we have nothing to fear in South Africa. In other words the side that dominrtes the serum will ‘call the tune’." "But does he make allowance for the improvement that is taking place in football in South Africa,’’ said

Brenton. } "Yes," said Harrison, "he went into that pretty closely, and quoted several South African authorities on the game. Mr. S. M. Wood, ex VicePresident of the Transvaal Union considers that while South Africa is not individually as strong as in the past, the combined play is better. Another critic there considers that South Africa lacks clever, thrustful centres, and has no full-back of the calibre of Morkel who kicked with such deadly accuracy during the 1921 tour. Their forwards, like ours are better than they were. Another prominent rugby enthusiast there is of the same opinion regarding the forwards and says that they have never been stronger, He thinks that if a little more attention were paid to the. art of dribbling the ball in a rush, South Africa could field a pack second to none in the world. ,

"Weighing up these different opinions, Mr. Fletcher said that ne thought it could be taken for granted that South Africa was stronger in the forwards than ever, but that the inside backs were hardly up to the old standard. He thinks that this is where we will have an advantage, and believes that we will be able to give as good an account of ourselves in oon Africa as we did in Engand.

"IT can’t agree with him there," said Blinks, who had just arrived and had heard the criticisms. "If we can hold our own it will be as much as we can do. We won all our matches in England, and I'll warrant we can't do anything like that in South Africa." . . "Well, we'll have one to celebrate our chances," said Thribs, who was. stili feeling a glow. of satisfaction with his business deal. Reinforced with a further instalment of ‘ the cup. that cheers,’ the conversation be€ame more animated, Blinks and Har-

rison getting. into a wordy argument; reparding the wrespective merits of } different halves. "J heard a rather interesting address from 1YA recently," said Larton, who had just joined the circle. "It was given by Mr. W, J. Collier. and was cailed ‘The. Glories of the Heavens,’ It was really astronomy for beginners made easy." "We shouldn’t encourage people te study the stars,’"’ said the oldest mem- | ber who had been sitting silently in the circle for soree time, and thought it was about time he said something. "We weren't meant to know anything | about those mysteries." ee ee ee ee i he *Rubbish," said Thribs determined- }

ly. : "It's nothing of the kind," said the oldest member. "That’s the sort of' thing that leads to spiritualism-_ seances and asylums." | "As a matter of fact,’ said Larton with a twinkle in his eye, "I was wishing you were with me when I heard it. I couldn’t help thinking that a knowledge of the positions of the stars would be a great help to you after the veterans smoke toncerts and other jamborees you attend." ; "JT don't need the stars to find my way home," said the oldest member: with hauteur, "I can take my liquor like a man-which is more than can be said of a lot of you young birds."’

"Anyway,’’ continued Larton, "the lecture was a good one. After all astronomy is the oldest science of all, and yet there’s not one in a hundred that could tell you anything about the Heavens, Mr. Collier showed that | astronomy was so exact a science that the astronomer could teli exactly when certain comets would appear, even although they were only to be seen for a few minutes over long. periods of time. But what I thought ‘was the most wonderful of all was that they can tell when a new comet will be showing. There are hundreds of millions of stars, of which we can see about 2,700 with the naked eye." "T']] take your word for that," said Wishart, who had recently qualified for admission to the wireless bug’s corner by getting a ‘five valver.’ Wishart was the only bachelor member of the circle, and as such was made the butt of many a little jest. But, as he himself pointe¢e out, he had the laugh over the others when he saw them scurrying for home, when it came to six o'clock.

"Next time you take her out," | said Thribs, "have a try and count them. That is, of course. if you can spare the time from other pursuits." "The speaker took us round the Zodiac on a most interesting trip and showed us how we might distinguish the principal stars." "‘Where can you see them?" asked Wishart. "J’m falling, I’m falling, and head over ears...," whistled Thribs softly. "Tut, tu my boy, I had thought better of you. Want to air your astronomical knowledge before her, : do you?" | "Oh shut up," said Wishart, "I’m. a bachelor by profession." "But not by inclination I guess,"

said Blinks. "You see the finest stars due north," said Larton breaking into the round of pleasantries, "but in_ the southern skies is the Southern Cross with its four brilliant points which ean be picked up on any clear night. The stars change their colour at times, and Sirius, which was at one ‘time red, is now white, which shows that it is considerably hotter than it used to be. The stars that look only a mile or so apart are really millions] of miles away from each other. It reminds one of the story of the Professor of Astronomy, In one of his lectures he said: *This world of ours cannot possibly last more_ than another fifty million years.’ ‘What,’ said one of the students, in a most agitated tone. tHow many years did you say?’ ‘Fifty million,’ replied the Professor. ‘Oh thank goodness,’ said the student, relieved, ‘I thought you said fifteen million.’ , "And," concluded Larton, "if Wishart or any of you want to study the

stars a little more closely, Mr, Goilier recommended a book called ‘An Easy Guide to the Southern Sky.’ it won’t be over the heads of your modest intelligences, because he said it wasn’t a scientific treatise, but. merely a jolly interesting book on the Heavens. _ |

"Talking Of DOOKS," Salad DIINA, { "J heard a good book review from 1YA recently, It was on ‘Plant Life in Maoriland,’ by Miss Marguerite Crooks, M.A., and I learnt a lot about our forests and native plants." "We don’t know what plant life is like here," said the oldest member. "Why, when I was in the tropics: £ used to see orchids of all colours, and flowers that would trap insects and feed on them, ‘You’ve nothing like that here." "Funnily enough I thought that myself," said Blinks, "but it seems that we have. The native bladderwort, known as the ‘bogland tyrant,’ traps insects in this manner, while the Pterostylis, a green orchid that grows in the north, does the same

And it seems that we have dozens of 0 her orchids and strange plants of which the average person inows practically nothing. The book apparently deals with all our plant life from a popular point of view, the aim of the authoress being to find methods of expression that appeal to the earnest but uninstructed lover of nature. The book tells of our beautiful kauri forests, and the many perching plants which are to be found high up in the kauri trees. There, is one which being in danger of suffering from a shortage of water, has provided itself with a reservoir from iwhich to draw supplies in the dry weather."

"JT think the rata is the most beautiful of the climbers in the forest," said Larton. "Yes, it probably is," said Blinks, "but it is apparently one of the most cruel. It lodges in the fork of a tree, and then sends a reot down into the ground. Year by year it grows stronger until at length it kills the tree. Then it proceeds to grow and grow until it becomes a huge tree. "Another most interesting plant deiseribed was a parasite known to the Maoris as ‘Wae-wac-atua,’ the flower of Hades, This cunning thief grafts itself on to the root of a hard work- «

| ing plant and deflects within its own ugiy torm the heaith giving juices intented by the host plant ior its own use." "I never knew we had things like. that in New Zealand," said Thribs, "No, and the most interesting thing | about the flower of Hades is that it | suffers the penalty of all parasites, ’ and it it cannot find a suitable host, ies.’ | "The sécond part of the book deals with the sea shore plants of which the ipohutukawa takes pride of place. That bizarre amphibian, the mangrove, unknown to thousands of New Zealanders, flourishes in the swamps.

of the sea coast in parts of the coun- : try, being able by some strange means to hold its position through the shifting of the tides." : "The next section deals with moor | and marsh, and the many unique | plants which these contain. All over. the gumlands are to be found quaint native orchids, while strange ferns grow there in profusion. Other sections of the book, which must be intensely interesting deal with the mountain plants and flowers, and the vegetation in the arid and tussock regions. Finally Miss Crookes deals with ‘humbler brethren’ including a far famed vegetable caterpillar which turns out on examination to be a simple parasitic fun|gus attacking the larvae of a certain

moth. Une chapter deais with the slime fungus, a wonderful plant which | spends part of its life as a plant and part living like an animai. Altogether," concluded Blinks, "the address made me feel a worm for knowing so little about New Zealand plants, and I for one am going to ‘et the book." "Well," said Thribs, who always delighted in having a jibe at Blinks, . "anything that could make Blinks eel his natural self like that, must be worth while, so I'll get one too," "Where’s Drexter to-day?" said Thribs. "He’s down with a touch of the fiu," said Harrison, "‘and says it’s only wireless + that’s keeping him jalive."’ "Wireless out of a_ bottle,’ growled the oldest member, "‘if I know anything about it." "Seems to be a lot more sickness

apout now tnan tnere used to Desaid Larton. "When I was a kid older people didn’t seem to be laid up sq often," "¥You’re soft, sir," said the oldvust member. ‘Damn soft, the lot of you. Here am I, jhardly been a day in "bed in my life." "Physical culture’s what we need," said Brenton. "That’s the thing to make you fit and keep you fit." "Nonsense," said the oldest member, to whom the words physical culgrandfather lived to be 100. Froin the time he was a young man he took his ‘six bottles a day’ like a gentleman, and never did any hard exercise all his life. It’s your rotten constitutions," *"T heard another of W. N. Kerr’s ‘the other night," said Brenton, and. ture were asaredragtoabull. "My | physical culture lectures over the air.

_T'm off," said the oldest member. "You fellows can’t keep away from talking about yourselves. You make me feel you're a lot of disease carriers every time you start like this," and with that he stumped out. i "What are the stunts this week,’’. said Thribs, who, being somewhat, ecorpulent, was trying various systems ; for reducing his weight, . f "He advanced a rather +! ‘theory and said that if-your chest’ lacked elasticity and mobility, have | a look at your legs." "What on earth for?" queried . Thribs,

"Weil, his contention 1s that ii the od muscles of your legs, hips and back’: aren't properly developed, there iyon’t * ‘be suificient room to allow your lungs to expand properly. In other, words, the ordinary mortal doesn’t get enough good fresh air inio his lungs because his legs won’t let him. Sounds funny, I know, but there’s something in it. If you want to said. Lift your leg forwards, and placing your heel on a table and keeping both legs stiff, bend forwards and with your forehead. Both legs must think its easy, try it. touch the knee of your extended leg | be kept stiff. If any of you chaps’ prove it for yourself, do what he-

"Conventional living has so re- | stricted us that we don’t use some of eur miiscles at all, with the result that instead of being upright, our bodies fall forward, restricting digestion and causing "all sorts of ail- . ments." "How can we put it right?" said Thribs, who seemed to see his own case figuring largely in the unpleas- . ant picture. "Oniy by continued hard exercise every day," said Brenton. "These conditions come about slowly and ean only be removed in the same way. Another interesting thing Mr, Kerr . told us was how to remedy red noses."

"That’s easy," said Blinks, "just put more water with it." "J admit that would help in your case," said Brenton icily, "but there are other things to be done as well. The corpuscles in the blood must have ! aire and they. come to the surface © skin to get it. In wintei time, when we cover ourselves up almost completely, they come to the only ° uncovered spots, which very often ° means the nose. Mr. Kerr believes ‘ that if we would strip off twice every _ day and give ourselves a good appli- ~ cation of the flesh glove, we would ° soon cure the red noses. Moreover, . it will remove the fattiness from our bodies and generally put us in a bet- _ ter condition of health."

*He’s right about the flesh glove," said Thribs enthusiastically, "I’ve been using it myself and I feel ever so much fitter." "Mm," said Blinks, "I do believe old Winton has lost half a pound or | so. You'll soon be down to the seventeen stone mark, my lad. *7'm going to be down to the thirteen stone before the summer," said Thribs, "if I die for it." "You probably will" said Blinks a. cheerfully, "and so will I if I’m not . home for dinner in time." _"