The Chit-Chat Club

Radio Record, Volume I, Issue 5, 19 August 1927, Page 7

The Chit-Chat Club

Being a Record of Some of the Dissertations of Members of the X Club on Wireless Matters of Moment in New Zealand,

Set Down by

Telanother

Hargost, commonly known to, the members of the X club as "Blinks," had had a thoroughly annoying day at the office. It was one of’ those days when the typiste made innumerable mistakes in his particularly important letters-when the ledgers. wouldn’t balance, and one of his best clerks gave notice. The result was. that towards five o’clock, he strolled off to his club, feeling in anything but an amiable frame of mind. Arrived there his sense of annoyance was in no way lessened when he found that the oldest memver was the only occupant of the seats round the big fire which were regarded as being exclusively those of the "wireless bugs." "Drat him," said Blinks to himself, "why can’t he find another corner? I suppose the old Devil will du nothing but argue." Aloud, « he adopted another attitude, and calling one of the attendants, ordered a drop of something for the two of

us." j For a wonder, the oldest member was in a rather’pleasant mood, and reinforced with a hot toddy, was even prepared to listen to Blinks’ description of a new gadget he had recently added to his set. Before long Brenton joined the pair, and a minute or two later Winton Thribs and Drexter joined the little coterie by the fire. Needless to add, the conversation steadily drifted to the wireless field, and ere long, programmes were once, more under discussion. By this time Blinks had completely recovered his usual good humour, and was loudly proclaiming the virtues of those performers whose work particularly interested him, "¥ think the best address I have heard this week," said Blinks, "was that one given by Mr. F. J. Turner, in connection with the Workers’ Educational Association.’’ "What was that," said Larton, who had just drifted in? | "It had a rather terrify:ng title,’ said Blinks, ‘"‘and I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if some idiots shut down when they heard what it was. lt was an ‘The Influence of Ancient Climatic Conditions, on the origin of Terrestrial Vertebrates." "Discussion on medical subjects like that shouldn’t be allowed," said w the oldest member fiercely, ‘"‘and," he added, "‘they weren’t in my young days." "Ha, ha," roared Winton Thribs. "That’s about the best I’ve heard. Medical subjects... .""

"What is a vertebrate anyway,’’} said the oldest member, thoroughly annoyed at having put his foot in it. "You're one," said Brenton, with a humorous twinkle. "I'm nothing of the sort," said the oldest member,’"? and I’d have you remember it, young man. If I were forty years younger... I’m an Englishman and I served my time for my Queen...." "Was that at Port Arthur," inquired Thribs, in the most innocent tones? "No, it wasn’t, you infernal young jackanapes...."’ "Well anyway," continued Blinks, pouring oil on the troubled waters, "the lecture was splendid. He dealt in a most interesting way with the evolutionary changes which have »ccured on the earth from time to tims, tracing the origin of species through the ages, and showing how climatic difficulties had been largely responsible for the evolution of all the animals, including man. He said that 2 study of plant life through differa) ent geological periods, torether with evidence accumulated bv biologists went to show that the mammals which dominated the world to-day, sprang in vast ages from a group of long extinet rentiles." "T’m sprung from no rentile,’’ said the oldest member hurriedly. "Oh. I don’t know,"’ said Harrison speenlatively. "T do. then, for J ean trace my anrestors back to William the Con-

queror’s time." ~ Well," said Blinks, once more turning the conversation from a danferous side-track, "you will have to ro 2 long way further back than that, for Myr. Turner was talking of time about 500 or 600 million vears ago. He said that in the seavence of evolution. the most remarkable step was the development of air breathing ter-

_restrial animals from purely acquatic ancestors." re "Do you mean to say that he considers. that land animals have sprung from fishoriginally?" said Larton incredulously-. . ‘oes , "Yes, that’s what it amounts. to," said Blinks, "Hundreds of millions of years ago the earth was mainly composed of sea, which, stretched across the greater part of what comprises Europe to-day. At times the sea would withdraw for short periods, but the land that did exist, was not covered with vegetation of any kind, nor was the sea peopled with fishes. In a later age we find fishes more numerous, this being at the stage when the northern continent began to slowly emerge from the water." . "Would have made a fine moving coming slowly up out of the ' water," said Larton humorously.

‘No doubt," said Blinks, "but i would have needed a good photographer to take it. You see.it took millions of years to come about. Up to this time the fishes had been confined to the continental lakes and rivers, but as the rivers dwindled,. and the lakes contracted, the conditions became unfavourable for their existence. Hundreds of species became extinct. about this time, but others overcame the obstacles facing them, and gave rise eventually to the species which exist to-day. Some of the fishes developed lungs which allowed them to live in salty marshes, and members of this species are still te be found, oniy a few thousand miles away, in Northern Queensland. "Tt was in this way that evolution came about, and through the ages we have gradually emerged. Climatic differences have greatly affected the existence of man, who emerged from the ice age to the stone age, gradually equipping himself better to fight the battles for existence. Had the climate always been mild and kind, we would to-day be in a very much

more packward state. "Well," said Drexter, known to the circle as ‘Silent George,’ "I was one of the mugs, for I shut off when I heard the title. It must have been a most interesting address. The most astonishing part of it to me is how they can trace the story of life through the ages, by the record of the rocks." "Ves," said Winton Thribs, "‘you get a fine illustration of that in Wells’ ‘Outline of History.’ That tells the story of life through the ages-a story which Mr. Turner seems to have so successfully incorporated into one short address,’’ "T was jolly interested in Mr. Stanley Bull’s address on the Taj Mahal," said Larton. "I’d give anything to go there, and perhaps I shall some day." "The most wonderful place in the world," said the oldest member. "Saw it in 1887, when I was over there on business," he continued. ‘‘Wonderful place. You fellows don’t know you're alive. Those were the days...." "Yes,’’? said Larton, cutting him short, "he said it was the most wonderful building in the world, and considered it was the greatest work ever

executed Dy man." "It’s a sort of temple, isn’t it?" inquired Harrison. "No, it was built about 1630 by the Emperor Shah Jahan, in memory of his wife, Arjumand Banu. It is built entirely of white marble, and is a square building surmounted by a single large dome, and some cupolas ‘and minarets. From the description given in the address, it must be most exquisitely finished, while the garden in the foreground, and the blue sky of India as a background, set this magnificent monument off to perfection. No garden in the world has 2 similar gateway. Such is its extent that the way through it is dark, and it is so high that the twenty-six marble cupolas which crown its summit" seem like toys to those who look up at that point of its colassal

arch =" @ | , "Yt sometimes think that the descriptions must rather cutdo the Taj Mahal," said Harrison. "It doesn’t seem possible for any building to be as wonderful as all that." "That is what Mr. Bull said," continued Larton, "but he told us that even those who ge there thinking that, come away impressed with its wonder, He said that it is really an inspired creation, the most beautiful building in the world, and the most

lovable monument ever erected to commemorate the dead." . "That’s it to the life," said the oldest member. "I can well remember a story I was told...." . "Let’s have another," said. Winton Thribs, cutting into the conversation, for the stories of the olde . member were something like the brook, and rambled on for ever. Glasses replenished, and the oldest member driven off the scent, the conversation drifted round to health questions, and whether a ‘drop of ‘stingo, as Harrison called it, was really bad for one. . | "When I was a boy,’’ said the oldest member, in a tone that indicated that the story of his life was about to. Cerencpigoocoe

commence, "we used to have beer every day of our lives...." "Yes, and ‘look at me now’," said Brenton. "That reminds me. heard another of those physical culture lectures of Norman Kerv’s last week, and I like it much better than the last, "If you are going to indulge in physical culture talks, I’m off," said the oldest member determinedly. "Last week you said you were carrying all sorts of disease germs round with. you, so Heaven knows what you will be like by now," and with that he stumped out. . "Well I’d better tell you the story," continued Brenton, "if its only for the benefit of Larton here who uses his beastly car so much that he will soon be losing the use of his limbs, This week Mr. Kerr, after pointing out that physical culture had to embrace the needs of all classes and ages of people, and that what suitei the schoolboy wouldn’t su‘t you and me, gave some sensible exereises which would help to reduce avoirdupois on such bloated individuals as Winton here."

: "Its hereditary in my case," said Winton Thribs virtuously. "Yes, and so’s that appetite of suppose," interposed Blinks. "What’s the exercise anyway?" queried Thribs. "The first one consists merely of ‘deep breathing, which he says is the vital force of life, and a preventative of disease. It exercises the diaphrgm, which has a wonderful influence on all the organs of the abdomen. The diaphragm has a movement up and down of about four inches when properly exercised, and to be able to give it exercise means renewed health and vigour. In deep breathing the air is sent right to the apex of the lungs, which is the point most liable to be attacked by disease. "Another exercise that is very beneficial, and I’ve tried this one myself, is to throw yourself face down at the table, turning your head either to the right or the left. As you hinge forward over the table your arms lie by your sides. Allow yourself to thoroughly relax, and then take a deep breath, sending the air down into the abdomen." "Bor fellows like Winton, however, | there’s a corker, You have to lie flat {on your back and place a heavy stone Jon your abdomen, _When you are stout you balance this neatly with | your hands, and then breathe in and

out, trying to send the air down into your stomach, and thus lifting the stone." "The address that interested me most this week,"’ said Winton Thribs, "was one by Mr. T. C. Brash, on the dairy industry. As I handle some dairy lines...." — And .make my ‘twenty per shent? on each’-interrupted Blinks. facetiously... I take a great interest in the dairyfarmer and the industry," continued Thribs, ignoring the interruption. "The dairy produce of New Zealand is worth from 17 to 18 million pounds a year, of which we export from 15 to 16 million pounds worth. Just fancy that. A third of our total exports. In the early days of New Zealand, all our butter came from Ireland, and you can guess what it was like when it landed here after being sent as ordinary cargo. ‘Wild,’ was the term they applied to it, and I bet if we got some to-day it would -make us feel a bit that way. ‘racing. the development of the country; Mr. Brash showed that many of us who came out to seek gold, were forced to settle on the land, until in the ’sixties and ’seventies a little butter was exported to Australia. . Dairying proper commenced during the ’eighties, and the cream separator and the refrigerator, being introduced about this time, methods were completely revolutionised. The Edendale factory secured the Government’s bounty of £500 for the first 50 tons of cheese exported, while the Greytown dairy factory was among the first of the co-operative concerns,

"Soon after export commenced, the need for uniform quality became apparent, and following Danish methods, we commenced grading, until to-day we have a highly developed service giving instruction to the farmer and factory manager. Gradually the industry grew and passed through the transition stage from proprietary ownership to co-operative ownership, where the factories all belong to the farmer suppliers. Then followed the development of such organisations as the National Dairy Association and the South Island Dairy Association, to assist the farmers i with bulk purchasing and shipping.

Mr. Brash traced the steady development of the industry to the stage where the Control legislation was introduced, leaving those questions to be dealt with at some future time." "Jolly interesting,’ said Blinks. "T must make sure of hearing the control address when it comes off. I’ve always believed that dairy control has never had a fair spin. There were too many vested interests working against it, and certain people

showed that the Empire spirit didn’t prevail too strongly when it came to selling our butter with only a fair margin of profit." "Yes, ‘that’s true," said Thribs. "Tye always favoured control my"Well, I don’t know whether you chaps are aware of it," said Drexter dryly, "but it is now well past six o’clock." "Good Lord," said Harrison, who was popularly supposed to be a henpecked husband, "I must dash off." Within a few minutes the fireside was deserted, and a little later, had we been privileged to look i& at the suburban homes of our half-dozen ‘worthies, we would have heard each of them explaining how the cares of ‘business had kept them so late at the office. Were they believed? If you ‘are married, just ask yourself! |