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The Family Circle

MOTHER. Nobody knows of the work it makes To keep the home together, Nobody knows of the steps it takes. Nobody knows —but mother. Nobody listens to childish woes, Which kisses only smother; Nobody’s pained by naughty blows — Nobody’s hurt like mother! Nobody knows of the sleepless care Bestowed on baby brother. Nobody knows of the tender prayer, Nobodyonly mother. Nobody knows of the lessons taught Of loving one another; Nobody knows of the patience sought. Nobody—only mother. Nobody knows of the anxious fears, Lest darlings may not weather The storm of life in after years. Nobody knows— mother. Come, let us kneel at the throne above To thank the Heavenly Father For that sweetest gift—a mother’s love The love of our own dear mother ! — Rose Terry Cooko. PRODGERS KNEW SOMETHING. The local council school managers had made a surprise visit, and the master was anxious to impress them with the wide knowledge of the juveniles present. “Boys,” he said, turning to the first class, “I rear! in the paper this morning that a new member of Parliament was returned unopposed. -What is the meaning of ‘returned unopposed’?” ° “There wasn’t no election, sir,” promptly replied a freckle-faced youth, ‘Right in substance, but weak in grammar, Prodgers, smiled the master. “Now, tell me why, at a time when the country is engaged in a devastating war, our politicians and the public generally are not in favor of party strife and contested elections.” No answer was immediately forthcoming, but presently the freckled youth’s hand wegt up. Well, Prodgers ?” came encouragingly from the master. Speak up. Why are so many seats uncontested just now?” ’Cos,” piped Prodgers, triumphantly, “■’coseggs is scarce.” J A KNOWING EDITOR. An editor in the Far West dropped into church for the first time in many years. The minister was in the very heart of the sermon. The editor listened for a while, and then rushed to his office. “What are you feflows doing? How about the news from the seat of war?” “What news?” Why, all this about the Egyptian Army being drowned in the Red Sea. The minister no at the church knows all about it, and you have not a word of it in our latest. Bustle round, you fellows,* and get out an extra-special edition.” MAKE YOUR HOME A HAPPY PLACE. . ® on t be afraid of a little fun at home,” says-the Pittsburg Catholic “Young people must have fun and relaxation somewhere; if they do not find it at their own hearthstones, it will be sought- at other and perhaps less profitable places. Don't reprove the buoyant spirit of your children. The best safeguard

they can take with them into the world is the unseen influence' of,a bright little domestic sanctum.” ACCURACY. John Bright showed a strict regard for accuracy when he ended a controversial letter; “I am;-Sir, with whatever respect is due to you.” ~ * ,v On the other hand, the Admiralty used to make an habitual display of insincerity, all letters from the Lords Commissioners to naval officerseven letters of reproofbeing signed, “Your affectionate friends.” : ; This practice was discontinued in consequence of a naval captain signing one of his letters to the Board of Admiralty “Your affectionate friend.” He was asked to discontinue this practice, so when writing again he concluded, “I am, my Lords, no longer your affectionate friend.” PASSING IT ON. A Sheffield grinder, on his way to a football match met a shopmate, and in a cheery voice asked “Art going to the match?” “Noa, lad I can't afford it,” he answered in a sad tone. “Look here!” said Jack, moved by a generous impulse. “I’ve got a bad tanner, an’ if tha has a mind to try an’ pass it, I’ll treat thee.” “Len’s ow’d on’t, tha can back me to pass it— Aw’ve been afore.” Off they went together, and on arriving at the ground Bill boldly planked down the sixpence and walked through the turnstiles. Jack, being next, put down a shilling, and to his great disgust, received the bad sixpence in change. Upon the valley’s lap The dewy morning throws A thousand pearly drops To wake a single rose. So, often in the course Of life’s few fleeting years, A single pleasure costs » The soul a thousand tears. — Bourdillon, HIS VIEW. Some years ago an Englishman who had never been in the West before was the guest of an American gentleman. They were driving through a Rocky Mountain canyon one day, when suddenly a tremendous gust of wind came swooping down upon them and actually carried the Englishman off the waggon-seat. After he had been picked up he combed the sand and gravel out of his whiskers and said : “ I say ! I think you somewhat overdo ventilation in this country!” Our little hour,how soon it dies ; How short a time to tell our beads, To chant our feeble litanies, To think'sweet thoughts, to do good deeds. The altar lights grow pale and dim, , The bells hang silent in the tower So passes with the dying hymn Our little hour. —Sergeant Coulson. SHREWD. He was running a small provision store in a newlydeveloped district, and the big wholesale dealers found him very backward in payment of his accounts. They sent him letter after letter/ each more politely threatening than the last. Finally they sent their representative down to give him a sporting chance. “Now,” said the caller, “we must have a settlement. Why haven’t you sent us anything? Are things going badly?” “No. Everything’s going splendidly. You needn’t worry. My bankers will guarantee me all right.” ; v / : •

“Then why haven’t you paid up?” : Well, you see, those threatening letters of yours were so well done that I’ve been copying them out and sending them round - to a few customers of my own who won’t pay up, and I've collected nearly all outstanding debts. I was only holding back because I felt sure there must be a final letter, and I wanted to get the series complete.” SMILE-RAISERS. The Johnsons had an old hen which insisted upon neglecting her comfortable nest to lay a daily egg in the coal cellar. “I can’t think,” fretted Mrs. Johnson, as she and her small son, Joe, together hunted for that particular e SS>“ why this one hen insists upon using the coal cellar.” “Why, that’s easy, mother,” exclaimed Joe, in astonishment. “I s’pose she’s seen the sign: ‘Now is the time to lay in your coal.’ ” Manager (to late messenger) : “You’ve been away over half an hour, and only to go round the corner !” Messenger: “Please, sir, a man dropped half-a-crown in the gutter.” Manager: “And did it take half an hour to find it?” Messenger: “Please, sir, I had to wait till the man went away.” Aunt: “Do you know you are playing with two very naughty little boys, Johnny?” Johnny: “Yes.” Aunt: “You do. I’m surprised. Why don’t you play with good little boys?” Johnny: “Because their mothers won’t let them.” “Mother, what part of the body is the trombone?” “No part of the body, my dear!” “Yes it is; because it says in the paper here that last night, while returning from the conceit, a musician fell and broke his trombone!” * ’ “I thought you told me this marmalade was as good as butter?” said the woman angrily. “Yes, ma’am; and many of my customers prefer to use it for butter!” replied the grocer. “Well,” said the woman, “they must have queer tastes if they use it as I did last night to fry them bloaters.” “When you found you didn’t have your fare, did the conductor make you get off and walk?” asked the inquisitive man. “Only get off,” responded the literal one. “He didn’t seem to care whether I walked or sat down.” He (vaguely); “How would you like to be the man in the moon?” She (pointedly) ; “I’d much prefer to be the woman in the honeymoon.”

This article text was automatically generated and may include errors. View the full page to see article in its original form.I whakaputaina aunoatia ēnei kuputuhi tuhinga, e kitea ai pea ētahi hapa i roto. Tirohia te whārangi katoa kia kitea te āhuatanga taketake o te tuhinga.
Permanent link to this item
Hononga pūmau ki tēnei tūemi

https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/periodicals/NZT19170823.2.90

Bibliographic details
Ngā taipitopito pukapuka

New Zealand Tablet, 23 August 1917, Page 45

Word count
Tapeke kupu
1,323

The Family Circle New Zealand Tablet, 23 August 1917, Page 45

The Family Circle New Zealand Tablet, 23 August 1917, Page 45

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