DIFFICULT ORDER

New Zealand Tablet, 19 June 1913, Page 62

DIFFICULT ORDER

This letter was written by a moderately sensible man, about to begin a garden at his suburban home, to a tradesman who sells seeds : * Dear Sir, —Having one-quarter acre of ground, which is not used for anything but growing stones, I wish to make it into an attractive and profitable garden. Please send me the following ‘ One dozen strawberry seeds. ‘ One dozen plum seeds. * Ten square yards grass. ‘ One bee with hive complete. * One concrete path, winding. ‘Six wallflowers with six pieces wall. ‘ One safety lawn-mower with patent apparatus for converting into a safety-razor. ‘ Also please send me enough baskets to hold the strawberry and plum crops and side and back combs for the honey. The grass should be green, and not the withered kind I note in so many gardens. The seeds should be of some flavour that chickens do not like. Your kind attention will oblige, yours truly, John Smith.’