THE RELIGIOUS AGITATOR

New Zealand Tablet, 25 April 1912, Page 43

THE RELIGIOUS AGITATOR

RACY ADDRESS BY THE ARCHBISHOP OF ADELAIDE / \ His Grace the Archbishop of Adelaide, speaking at the opening of a new school hall at Bromptoh on Sunday, Marcii 24, delivered the following address as leported in the Southern Cross . —Those who know me —and there are many in South Australia who do—think me as little likely to give offence to any Australian citizen as man can be. I begin, therefore, by defining my terms. Heaven knows i mean no rudeness by the words which I use. Among the population of South Australia there are many Catholics. * Some would call them Roman Catholics, and they are-wel-come to so call them if they choose. Most .South Australians are not Catholics. I class them, therefore, under the generic non-Catholics. I hope I hurt no one. The hurting of any South Australianj is a thing alien to my thoughts. I intend no offence in any form. If I give offence, I give it unwittingly and unwillingly; and beg pardon beforehand for my fault. It is with non-Catholic that my present concern lies. My experience of . them is pretty well as large as can be the, experience of one who does not hold with, their religious views. To make clearer what I wish to say, I take of non-Catholics one thousand of the average type. I divide the thousand into two groups. In one group there are, out of the one thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine. The other group is—out of the thousand—in a glorious minority of one. 1 Let me paint both classes as, with forty-two years of Australian life to guide me, I know them. .r ..

The Larger Group. v I will take a sample of the larger group first. He is one of the nine hundred .and ninety-nine who form the majority. He is broad-minded; as he is kindheartedness itself. He is a shrewd man of business, ever alert in his undertakings, and will strike a good bargain when he can. He : makes money i: more or less, but he is by one means a slave to money. He is freehanded in his almsgiving. public charity, no genuine case of private distress, ever appeals to him in vain. He may not be over remarkable for his punctuality in attendance at church. It may be that his Sunday visits to his place of worship are few and far between. Still, «he has a genuine respect for- religion Supposing his purse allows it, he-will cheerfully" give help to religious cause. One fact stands out prominently. He will never scorn his neighbor on account) of that neighbor's faith. You may believe what you like, you may say what prayers you like and where and when you like and as often as. you like. Your belief and your praying may..cause him ' wonder, but neither your belief nor your praying ; will ■ ever' draw insult from him. •:?!::-:: -t ,.-.': .".'••' : . - r :ii - ■*":

~ t > . ; . In the Minority. '■- ■ ■}■■'■■_'■. i7-x- 'fM- -:,-. The non-Catholic Australian, who is in the proud minority of one in a thousand, is a being of an alto gether different type. He may be * a churchgoer he may not be a church-gower. I do not know ' I, put the dogmas of his creed briefly v : ~(l) Hopelessly out of every chance of salvation is everybody who loves a horse , I marvel greatly if our friend W the grand minority of one ! really reads his Bible about which he talks so much. In page after page of the

Sacred Book the horse appears. He is admired and praised time and time again. Let me take a poetic passage from Job describing the horse. The horse ; of his description is the horse of the mounted - soldier. ‘ He breaketh up the earth with his hoof, he pranceth boldly, he goeth forward to meet armed men.’ ‘He despiseth fear, he turneth not his back to the sword.’ ‘ Chasing . . . .he swalloweth the ground, neither doth he make account when the noise of the trumpet (of battle) soundeth.’ I quote a second saying from another writer of a prophetic book. It is of the warhorse that he also speaks, ‘ Their horses are lighter than leopards, and swifter than evening wolves; their horsemen shall come from afar; they shall fly as an eagle that makes haste to eat.’ To attend a meeting where horses race is, according to our friend of the glorious minority of one, the unpardonable sin. Make a bet on the horse that takes your fancy at a race meeting. Your bet is simply the purchase of a first-class ticket by special and express train to the regions that are down below. Let me make open confession, for open confession, they say,' is good for the soul. I never read the sporting news in our daily papers, and I never read the political news. To me both sporting and political news are weary and dreary beyond ordinary human forbearance. Life is short, and has its limitations. Open Confession. You can make some guess what is going to happen in politics, but in horse racing you can make no safe guess at all. The horse that everybody says is going to win is usually last in the race, and the horse that everybody says is going to lose is first to pass the judge’s box. I never did bet on a horse once in my life. Where horses are concerned, I am a perfect stupid; and if I did bet, my money was as good as gone. Still, I will admit this: if I only had the gift of prophecy—which I assuredly have not and knew with absolute cer-

tainty the horse that was going to carry off the next Onkaparinga or Rand wick or Melbourne Cup, I should have not a moment’s hesitation nor the shadow of a scruple of conscience in , : backing that horse for a i handsome amount. ~ <v. \ . Sinners Beyond Redemption. r (2) Hotel keepers are like the wicked who go to races, sinners beyond redemption. It is no use of praying for them. They are outside the pale. Yet I ask a question. There is a story told in a Book, revered by non-Catholics and Catholics alike, 'of a kindly wayfarer who came to the relief of a Jew, waylaid and wounded by highwaymen. The wayfarer. Was unorthodox, according to Jewish views. Yet : unorthodox as he was, he was tender-hearted, and his tender-hearted-ness is praised by the written Word of God. Under whose care did he place his patient ? Under the |are of an hotel keeper. According to our friend in The great minority of one the good Samaritan did evil. If he were of a truly religious spirit he would have left the wounded man, pitiable and helpless as that wounded man was, to die on the roadside. On no account should he have sought shelter for him in an hotel. His paying the hotel keeper for the sick man’s board made his crime all the worse. Going for the Holy Romans.’ (3) When he is tired of condemning the wickedness of horses and hotels, our religious agitator fills in-his time by going for the Holy Romans. I use -anatAustralian colloquialism. By a 1 Holy Roman ’ a Catholic is meant. That the * Holy Romans are criminals is perhaps the most cherished article of the creed of our friend in the minority of one. What have we to say in our defence? Only this. Let him set the ‘Holy Romans ’ down as criminals to the fulness of his bent. If those who love horses and those who keep hotels can

stand? his abuse 1 I think we;. the 'Holy Romans I can stand it. He is welcome to abuse us to his heart's content. His abuse ; will never i set 5 our nerves agog. or flutter our pulse in the slightest degree."■• *

Like the Aching Tooth.

: /Sjlydq!not f know the number of teeth with which the human head is usually furnished I- have never counted my ownfteeth, and,; therefore, cannot say how; many I have or ought to have. Those who are curious in the matter can easily find out the normal number from any doctor they ! meet '..„, My ignorance will . therefore be excused if I indulge;my imagination. Suppose I had 1000 teeth in my ~;Head,/arid suppose, moreover, 999 of these were solid and sound ones; s The 999. would give me no trouble, and therefore never distract my thoughts. v ; >'; But '.• suppose there was one tooth which, bringing up the reckoning to the 1000, was hollow, and decaying, and ached and ached, and that, in its aching, hindered me from working during the day, and hindered me from sleeping "during , the night. Of . that tooth, whether I : would or no, I should perforce have to think a good deal. For a tormenting/tooth there is but one remedya visit to a dentist's. Then would come a twinge and a shake, and a wrench and a pull; and lo and behold, the whole trouble would be over for all. and good. Like the aching tooth is the mischiefmaking religious agitator. He is an annoyance and a nuisance to the body,, religious and social. He is only one in a thousand, it is true, but there is not one in the other nine hundred and ninety-nine of his fellow-citizens who would not prefer his room to his company. Yet, we are all sinners, and have to suffer for our "misdoings. I am afraid it will be our fate to ever have the mischiefmaking religious agitator to worry us. // :

M 'l've Got Him on the List.'

I love Australia—-I love Australians—with all" the love which a human heart is capable. I wish every Australian well, even the mischief -making:: religious agitator himself. I fondly believe that nine hundred and ninety-nine, out of every thousand wish well to me. I heard a song once at a private concert given by a gentleman vocalist. It was taken from an opera of Gilbert and Sullivan. I think the opera was The Mikado.', It was v a song in which x the Imperial -Lord High Executioner gave an account of his doings to his master from day to day. His duty was to furnish regularly to his Majesty a list of those whose heads it would be an advantage to the public to have cut off. I do not quite remember the exact words of the song, but the refrain of the -Lord High Executioner ran something like this:— - ■•■-.--■;-—rr/ "

Oh put him on the list, i He never will be missed.'

lam by no means a vindictive turn of mind. I wish evil to no one; but I certainly would keep mischiefmaking religious agitators as far away from me and from my neighbours as I possibly could. '

Send Him to the Pole.

; Professor Mawson is on his way to the South Pole. I cannot, therefore, invoke his services. But, when the next explorer starts on his journey to the South, I should be glad if he would give a passage to one of our mischief-making religious agitators. Of the bonafides of my wish there is proof in this, that I should * be prepared to pay down £5 towards the cost of the religious agitator’s passage southwards. I would have, however, the explorer first to pledge me his word of honor that when he took his departure from the South Pole he would leave the religious agitator behind .him. I am of a generous turn of mind, and would like to deal with everyone kindly. If th§ 'mischief-making religious agitator was willing to go and the explorer was willing to take him— point on which I am doubt-, ful—-I would be ready to act munificently. In the first place, I would, at my own, expense, have letters patent issued under the hand of the Bailiff of the . Supreme Court, creating the mischief-making religious agitator duke of the South Pole. In making such provision for our friend I would insist, however, on one condition. I would have him, before he took ship, sign

a covenant by which he- would bind himself never to set foot on Australian soil, again. The penalty of his failure to keep the covenant v would be the • forfeiture of , his , ducal rank and his immense estates in" the southern world. . /-• ''-.".■' ;:<.-/ , ;

Worse than Human Ills.

Human nature is subject to many ills. Sickness comes in childhood; it comes in middle age; it comes when men are old. In my fairly long life I have had my share of physical ills. ? As v a boy I had the usual allowance of boyish i ailments. Grown up I had neuralgia, rheumatism, and lumbago; of course st was in the fashion, and had 4 two or three attacks of influenza as well. I did not welcome any -of-, the visitants, and my decided conviction .is : that, -on > the whole, I should have been happier without - them. , Yet, beings of clay must have patience. Patience I try to have, in every trial. With mischief -making religious agitators I am afraid I have no patience whatever. They are worse than neuralgia, rheumatism, lumbago, and the influenza all put 1 together. God forgive me if I sin by uncharitableness ; but I do wish the mischief religious agitator in/ some other land : than the land in which I live;/ Many, very many Australians—the majority of -them non-Catholics—-would,. I feel certain, if there was a ballot taken, be found to share my wish. I pray that at least- one of my religious agitators may take jmy offer on the advantageous terms tendered, and emigrate on the first opportunity to the South Pole. There is a great scarcity of citizens there. But he can count on a warm welcome from the numberless seals and whales/ "

Near and Dear Friends.

-■• My words finish in the spirit in which they began. The number of non-Catholics who are near and dear friends of mine I cannot count. I have nought to complain about them, but of their constant, and extreme kindness to me. Nothing could be further* from my thoughts than giving., offence to any one—least of all to those non-Catholics to whom I owe so much. If/ there is in what I have said any remark, however slight, that gives them pain, I recall it without demur;'and perfervidly wish it had been left unsaid ■''•/•# - ' -