ODDS AND ENDS

New Zealand Tablet, Volume XXXVII, Issue 9, 4 March 1909, Page 358

ODDS AND ENDS

Mother : ' Sammy, I dou't want to ever catch you in the pantry again.' Sammy (weeping) : ' An' I don't want you to, either.' Lucile, a carefully brought up little girl of five years, returned from her first party in great glee. ' I was a good girl, mamma,' she announced, ' and talked nice all the time.' ' Did you remember to say something pleasant to Mrs. Townsend just before leaving?' her mother asked. ' Oh, yes, I did,' was the enthusiastic reply. ' I smiled and said, " I enjoyed myself, Mrs. Townsend. I had a lot better dinner than I thought I'd have." ' The other day a little fellow walked into a butcher's shop and asked the proprietor for a sheep's head. ' Sorry, my boy,' said the man, ' but the only head I have in the shop just now is this one of mine.' 1 No, that won't do,' replied the boy, decidedly ; ' I want one with brains in it.' Boy : ' Cow is a noun, feminine gender, third person singular, and stands for Mary.' ' Stands for Mary?' asked the master, in astonishment. ' Yes, sir,' responded the urchin, with a grin, ' for if the cow didn't stand for Mary, how could Mary milk the cow?'