All Sorts

New Zealand Tablet, 19 November 1908, Page 38

All Sorts

Manners carry tlie world for a moment, character for all time. Every thing has an end. Even young ladies, in love cannot read their letters for ever. The fate of a nation will ultimately depend on the strength and health of the population. One Japanese firm has calico printing mills covering four acres. Twelve years ago the industry was_ unknown in that country. The female element is very much in excess in Germany, the women exceeding the men by more than 1,000,000, according to recent statistics. ' What does the doctor say is the matter with Mirandy?' ' He says she has pneumatic tendencies and that she is threatened with spiral trouble.' Uncle Tom : ' The baby's looking wonderfully happy tonight. ' Nurse :' I expect he heard a lady who called this afternoon say that he want a bit like any of his relations.' Sign of Precocity. — First Magazine Editor : ' I believe my youngster is cut out for an editor.' Second Editor : ' Why so?' First Editor : ' Everything he gets his hands on he runs and throws into the waste basket.' ' Is anyone waiting on you?' finally asked the haughty saleslady, condescending at last to notice the shopping person. 'I'm afraid not,' replied the latter; 'my husband was — I left him outside — but I'm afraid he's become disgusted and gone home.' Sassenach Humorist (amusing himself at expense of Highland caddie): 'Hoots, ye ken, ma bit laddie, yon was nae to muckle bad a shot the noo. Wha think ye?' The Bit Laddie: 'Eh ! Ah'm the kin' yell laarn Scotch quicker'n yell iver laarn gouf.' ( " The annual report of the Krupp Works at Essen shows that the firm employs 70,000 persons and is thus the world's greatest employer of labor. This number includes 6000 engineers. Th* firm devotes half a million sterling a year to premiums for oldage, disability, and sickness among its employees. It is a waste of time to be busying yourself with what you conceive to be the faults of other people. Be assured that others see quite as many and as reprehensible faults in you. A good many people, who think themselves reformers especially chosen to point out and reprove the sins of others are merely insufferabli nuisances. A cat belonging to Mrs. Jones had caused great annoyance to the small boys of the neighborhood by killing some of their pets, so they decided to set a trap for it. D wight, a little boy of seven, with a very tender heart, was much afraid some innocent cat would suffer, so printed the following notice and pinned it on the trap : ' This is for Jones's cat only.' " Come, now, Pat,' said a Cockney tourist to an Irish peasant, whom he had encountered in Connemara. • I'll give you a sovereign if you tell a bigger lie than you ever told before. ' ' Faith, sir, you're a real gentleman,' Pat responded, and the company unanimously declared the sovereign earned. Generally speaking, races living at high altitudes have weak-sr and more highly pitched voices than those living in regions where the supply of oxygen is more plentiful. Thus, among tha American Indians living on the plateaus beween_the ranges of the Andes, at an elevation of from 10,000 to 14,000 feet, the men have voices like the women and the women like the children, and their, singing is a shrill monotone. The humors of the schoolroom are many and varied, and the labor of teaching is often brightened by flashes" which illumine the daily task of directing the young idea how to shoot. - Examination -papers are often unconsciously very funny. In a recent test *in physiology the pupils were asked to describe briefly, the heart and its functions, or work. One of the answers received read : ' The heart is a comical-shaped bag. The heart is divided into several parts by a 'fleshy petition. These parts are called, right artillery, left artillery, and so forth. The functions of the*' heart is between the lungs. The work of the heart is to repair the different organs in about half a minute.'