All Sorts

New Zealand Tablet, 13 August 1908, Page 38

All Sorts

The rest cure becorhes.-a habit with some people. Some of the great Atlantic lmers employ 150 firemen. Regret is something we feel for the mistakes of our friends. A l horse. always- gets up fore^ parts- first and a cow directly the opposite. ' "~ 4 They have some china that has been in the family for years.' — 'Indeed? Haven 'tj hey any servants?' One -of the most annoying things in the world is to be prepared for an emergency that doesn't keep its appointment. Buckingham Palace cost a million pounds, and the ball-room, which is now being renovated, and re-decorated, absorbed of that amount. • ' When a vessel is on her trial trip she runs four times over a measured mile, twice with and twice against the tide. Her average .speed is thus arrived at: -r - , - ~ '--■.-• A' teacher in~ the public school" asked the" children to' "define the word -advice.' - - - . ' Advice,' said a little girl, ' is when other people want you to do the way they do.' . '-:' '-Tomato plants "ijavj-j •b'ejln-igrafte'd- on- potato plants, giving^a^ crop of tomatoes above ground-~and of potatoes below. ."Potatoes grafted on tomalqe.s have produced -flowers and tomatoes- aiid a few tubers. ' I am proud "to say that my^grandfatheV made his mark 'n the world,' observed 'the coricelted*"youth. '. . - 'Well. I suppose he wasn't the only man in those .days, who couldn't write, his name,' -replied, _hjs_ _ bored^rompanion. .-.^-^ . - '-: While a small "boy- was ?-fiSh%g i^ne^S V (Trida"p?Tn : 6r'nt^i he accidentally lost his foothold and tumbled into the creek.- s As an old man on the bank was helping him out he said: 51-How did you come to fall' in the?"fiver*,;lmy. litfle "man ? - ' I didn't come- to fall in the river, I ""came" to' fish,' replied the boy.' ' Father,' said little Rollo, ' what is a speculator?' ' Anyone, my son, who goes on the Stock Exchange -.and loses.' ' And what is a financier?' 'Anyone who goes there and wins.' - -„•. ' . Automatic savings banks on the principle of the penny-in-th'.--slbt machines have been installed_jn 4 all jhe Berlin schools. " Thrt children receive numbered counters in return for the coins dropped in. When they have collected "ten of these counters they- take them to the schoolmaster, who presents them with savings 'ban.X ' books, in which the"amounts are 'entered. Rufus -Choate once endeavored ' to make a witness give- an illustration of absent-mindedness.' ' Wai,' said the witness, cautiously, ' 1 should say that a man who thought he'd lefl>his watch at home an' took it out'n his pocket to see if he A ?had . time ,to go- home tOrget^P—l^ shouitj. say ' r .that* f eHer vwasta beetle "absent-minded."'" „.*' ~ '"'. . ' '" ..Twb Jittle • sisters, s«ven and nine, who were taken to see 1 Othello,* -were'much impressed by the death scene. ' I wonder whether. they kill a lady every night? 1 asked Lucy. . ' 7 'Why, of course not, Lucy,' said her sister, ' they just pretend to. It would be too -expensive to really kill a lady every ."night ! ' ' - . Two. children stood in their "'kitchen watching a pot of chicken, soup warming on the stove, when suddenly it began to bubble. . „ . , * Freddie,' inquired the little "girl, what makes it bubble .\ip?'- • -K'^'^fJ^ '■" i .. , ' There's {Tchicken in the|"||£3>||jaine(i the little, boy, " and it's . :tryin*..to talk r under water !' r 'V "fcT; v ■ J _ "■■£.„ * "^ "-• A Scotsman and an . IrishnjaiS' once hVd •a . quarrel. They agreed, upon, a, hand-to-hdind eric^fjnter,- to b<?” fought-, toj -a finish, '"•and the one v<h<s -wished to •'ackfrtoxvledge h>r*nself-3eaten-. had. to shout ' Sufficient.- 1 ! " . ''".... .; \ After- a- full hour's hard pugilistic work,;, the -Irishman at last, roared out : - ■""*** a '' 4 Sufficient!' ■?• ' • -' 'Ma conscience!' said the Scotsman, 'if I- havena been try in' to mind that word for the last half-hour, but couldna for the life o' mo think o' it !'* . '.-„...