ODDS AND ENDS

New Zealand Tablet, Volume XXXVI, Issue 23, 11 June 1908, Page 38

ODDS AND ENDS

' Why do you date your ietters a week ahead ?~ ' ' I give them to my husband to mail.' ' Have you thanked your uncle for your nice new pocket-knife, Willie ? ' • Not yofc, mother ; but I daresay I shall. I'm waiting to see if the blade is good steel.' Musical Manager—' Now, candidly talking of the performance of Wagnerian opera, what do you think of our company's execution ? ' Candid critic—' It is not execution, my friend ; it is assassination. 1 'If ye please, mum,' said the ancient hero, in an appealing voice, as he stood at the back door of the cottage on wash-day. ' I've lost my leg. 1 ' Well, I ain't got it,' snapped the woman fiercely. And the door closed with a bang. While giving a geography lesson, a teacher called upon a precocious youngster named Johnny to tell what he could about ' zones.' Johnny responded as follows : ' There are two kinds of zones, masculine and feminine. The masculine zones are temperate and intemperate, while the feminine zones are both horrid and frigid.'