The Storyteller A DEFERRED HONEYMOON

New Zealand Tablet, Volume XXXV, Issue 46, 14 November 1907, Page 3

The Storyteller A DEFERRED HONEYMOON

Mr. William Rathbone and Bertha, his "recently acquired wife, left England on their honeymoon. Their first stage had been' to the Loro" Warden Hotel, Dover, whence tliey had crossed to. Calais, and had arrived safely in Paris, thus completing the second s.tage satisfactorily, arid at once despatched a telegram) tio Bertha's Home to „ announce the fact. From Paris they purposed travelling lo Biarritz. Neither was very efficient in French, but Bertha's father, Mr. Passenger, had drawn out a scheme of roujbe for them to facilitate matters and to obviate difficulties. As the' season was winter, Mr. Passenger Had pointed out that it would- not do for them to go to Wales or, the Lakes, or to the Rhine, for their spooning. They must seek the sun in the South. As to their lack of fluency in the Gallic tongue, that would not ma.tter. Railway officials, hotelkeepers, and. waiters could speak, or at least understand, sufficient English to enable the couple to pursue their way without hindrance. Mr. Tessenger had further advised that they should no^ make a stay of more, than a night in Paris, but push on at once to their destination. It would be better uiat'they should see Paris thoroughly on their return journey, when the days would be longer and, the weather less inclement. ■ < " ' Accordingly, the young couple started from the Gare d'Orleans, on the t^uai d'Orsay, with the utmost confidence and in superior spirits. . Thus far no great demands had been made upon their powers of expressing their' requirements in a foreign tongue. <■ When , the express train in which they travelled drew:* up at Les- Aubrais, the junction for Orleans that lies r a very short way to the- east, Bertha said to her husband : ' Willie, dear, that was a very thin .breakfast we had of coffee and bread and butter. - I shall not be aMe to hoTd out all day upon it. Do you think you could _get me a luncheon basket ? ' x ' Certainly, darling. But what is a luncheon ticket in -French 1 ' 1 ±Jasket— let me see.' She turned up the word in a pocket dictionary. • Oli, corbeille ; luncheons luo not think they have in France ; but say "manger, mangercorbeille, and — they will understand you. " Manger " means "to eat." The French are an intelligent'people, and remarkably quick in "grasping your meaning.' Accordingly Mr. Rathbone left the carriage "and hurried to tiie buffet, where he pointed to a panier and said 'Manger.' The waitress then inquired whether he desired to have it in white wine or red, but he was wholly unafcle to understand the words addressed to him, so he contented himself with, replying ' Oui, oui.' Some further delay was"' occasioned by his paying for the panier. He was doubtful about the value of French coins ; however, he produced a five-franc^cart-wheel, and was gratified and surprised when he received some pieces* in change. Then, tucking the luncheon basket- under his -arm and refusing the otters of me waitress to take it "to ' 'his carriage, he ran out upon the platform, and seeing •before him the train, -With a carriage door open, and obtaining a glimpse of a lady within, he- scrambled in, to exclamations of the' guard, ■ ' Depecfoez-vous, Monsieur ! '- and the call of the station" master's pipe—, much liice the voice of Punch in the show: By the time • he had. seated hirrself the train was in motion.' 1 There, Bertha/ said he, • I hope this will content you. I got on famously with my French. Halloo! Good heavens, where am I ? I have got into the 7 wrong) carriage. However, it does not mauler much: I will change at the next station. Poor Bertha, how scared she will be.' ' - The fact was that, in leaving the buffet, Mr. Rathbone had run to »<ne wrong side of the platform— thiat on tlie left is for the maim trains, that on the right for those tKat run -into Orleans, and in his- hurry he had got into the wrong train. But of this, at the time, he was unaware. He unbuckled the strap of the bnsket, peeped in, ami- was much gratified at the sight of the contents. ' How pleased Bertha will be ! ' said ' he. In less than five minutes the • train drew up at a large station. ' Well, this is odd,' said Mr. Rathbone. • ' They - call our train an express, and yet it stops every few- . minutes. This is a large station too. Oh, I see the name written up, " 'Orleans." I lanow .that's where Joan of Arc came from. j.ney are sure to remain here five minutes. - I shall have plenty of time to find Bertha.

He descended from the carriage, hugjging the panier, and ran along the train, vainly looking for his wife. He put the basket down and scrambled up into every carriage lo search each, compartment,. There was no Bertha Lnere. 'Ou ,est momg femme ? ' he asked of every official. He was' becoming seriously alarmed. Every carriage was emptied of its occupants ; the -iain was evidently not journeying further. The station master came up and inquired what he wanted. 'Ou est mong femme ?' he repeated. The official asked to see his ticket, and Mr. Rathbone produced it. ' Mais— e'est pour Bordeaux. 11 vous faut retorner aux Aubrais.' * But I want my wife— femme— you uh.derst|a.)nd. Where is she ? ' ' Entrez le wagon, Monsieur— vite— pour Les Aubr.tis. ' ' But I don't see Bertna anywhere ? ' Again s.omethinlg wlaJs saijd tjo irim about Le,s Aubrais. 1 Confound it. What do you mean by braying at me so ? ' He was thrust into a carriage. His luncheon basket was passed In to him through, the window, and in a very few minutes he found himself at the junction where he had missed Bertha. 1 Where can she be ? ' he asked himself, as he descended from the carriage, carrying his luncheon basket. • She would never dream, of gioipg on in the train without me. I wonder whether she will be in one of the waiting rooms ? ' But though he sought everywhere, he could not find her. ' What can she have done ? She has probably left the train at the next station, and is pacing the platform waiting, for me. II I take the next train I am certain to spy her if I keep my, eyes open, and then all will be well.' The next train into which Mr. Rathbone mounted was an ' omnibus,' that drew up at every insignificant station, and put in no pace bptween them. At none of these did the distressed husband see his wife. 1 What tfie thunder am I to do ? ' asked he. 'She has undoubtedly gone on ; but they will never let her out of a station, for I have got the tickets. Besides, she has not a sou of French money. Poor girl ! poor girl ! she is in desperate, straits, and must be almost off her head with despair.' « Meanwhile Mr. Rathbone became hungry, so he opened the panier and made a good lunch of chicken and ham, a slaT) of veal,' cress, bread atid cheese, all washed down with Medoc. 4 Precious pet ! ' sighed the husband. ' How she would have enjoyed this— and she is starving. She has no French money.' « He had hardly completed his repast before* the train drew up at Chliteaauoux, and he became dimly aware that it was likely to remain there for half an hour, whilst the passengers lunched at the buffet. 1 I don't understand this Chateauroux,' said Mr. Rathbone. 'It is not down in the progtamme that Mr. Passenger arew up for us.' After a long interval the bell rang, the pipe called, and the refreshed travellers swarmed out of the restaurant and resumed their places in the carriage. The train went on, ancl finally, when it was dark, Mr. Rathbone was deposited at Limoges. 'Limoges,' said he; ( I don't remember' anything about the place. lam sure it's not down on Passenger's paper. I ought to be a"E Bordeaux now, and ■here I am at this other 1 place.' He got out his railway map, and with some difficulty discovered where he was. Instead of going the direct way, by Tours, he had taken that somewhat less direct by Limoges. .. , 'Great Scott 1 '! ' exclaimed he;." 'no wonder that I ■ have missed Bertha. She has gone by one .route, and - I by the other. Well, we shall meet in Bordeaux. She cannot get lost, as I have the tickets, and she will not be allowed to leave the station Jill I arrive - and produce tfiem.' Mr.' Rathfotone found tHat it was not' possibly for him to proceed on his journey that night. Some diffi l * culty was experienced with the ticket collector, but he was finally suffered to pass into the town, and went to a- good hotel, where. he dined well and was given a comfortable bed, with a bouilotte, or hot-water bottle, in if.-- - ' And Bertna is walking the platform all nigjit,' he ' sighed ; ' and on an empty stomach, too. She has had nothing to eaT; since the morning, and then only a hard ' roll washed down with coffee.. Really, I have had -cpufe a nice/ little dinner — soup, fish, tough mut- , .ton, -chicken, caramel pudding, cheese, and dessert. I'll

have a cup of coffee and tumble into bed. Poor— poor— poor Bertha.' He slept very soundly. He was tired, and the strain of his nerve had been almost more than the man could! flbpar, sa that it was well for him that nature » came to his aid and" gave him refreshing slumbers. Next morning he rose, had. his cafe-au-lait, bread and bulter, and started from Limoges for Bordeaux, via Perigeux. ■ ' I see clearly how Bertha travelled,' said he as he traced the route on the map. ' She went to Tours, then to Pritiers, where a .great battle was fought by the Black. Prince, then Lo Angpuleme, and so to Bordeaux. She will have reached that place before now. I should think she will hardly be alive, with haying had no bed to sleep in and no food for forty-eight hours. I must get myself another luncheon basket today, as I do not reach Bordeaux till late. When at length he did arrive at his destination he hunted tlie platforms, the waiting-rooms, the buffets, but could not see BerUia. ' This is a pretty go ! ' exclaimed he. ' I see it all as clear as daylight now. She got iat of the train at Tours," and remained there, looking s.\> every i train as it arrived, expecting to see my face at ~a* carriage window and to hear my joyous cry on beholding her. Well, if she be not here, at all events' the trunks are, for I have the tickei for the luggage. It will ."be somethiing to o,i>(bain a cWatige of linen, a clean collar, arid a shave. I feel disgustingly dirty.? It. was as he surmised. The luggage had arrived and was en depot. He took it out and had it mounted on -the omnibus of the Hote, des Deux Pigeons. 4 Of course,' said he, ' the poor darling, if she had come here, could never have got Tat the boxes, not having the ticket. Well, I'll have a change and make myself comfortable, eat my dinner, and consider the whole situation.' On reaching his inn his own trunk was carried up -to the chamber allotted to him. That of his wife he left below. Then he unlocked his trunk. On the top lay his mandolin. ,r, r "Mr. lialhbone had a "pleasant baritone voice, but uncultivated. He was wont to sing at evening parties after dinner, and to amuse himself when his day's -work was done. He^ had brought the instrument with him, with which he was accustomed to accompany _himself. He had thought how soothing and yet refreshing it might prove to Bertha to have him sing and play to her in the evening, even during the day at Biarritz, sitting on the rocks and looking out over the sea. Meanwhile, Mrs. RatWbone had been whisked away in the express from Les Aubrais, in the direction of Tours. She had been seriously alarmed, when left alone in the carriage, and at- each station she appealed to "the guard': ' J'ai perdu ma mari ! ' But she resolved to sit tight till she reached Bordeaux. Occasionally she was asked for her billet, and then she would reply : 'J'ai perdu Monsieur RatWbone, ma mari.' To herself she said, ' Really/ these French are very familiar, or they would not speak of- my dear' William as my " Billy." But it all comes of their Liberty, Equality, and Fraternity. It is astonishihg to me that with' this profession of equality vney still have first, second, and' third class carriages. It '■ is against their principles and professions.' At Tours Mrs. Rathbone was so hungry that she went to the refreshment rooms, and, discovering that the train tarried to allow the passengers to have' a meal, sat down to a three-franc dejeuner of oysters, omelette, two meats, and dessert, all washed down with half a bottle of light wfne. She had not French money, she intimated by signs and broken words-tp the waiter, and must pay him in English shillings, and he was content to receive three such in place of three francs, and a sixpence for himself. Then she resumed her place in the train and travelled on to Bordeaux, which she reached that same - •evening. There some difficulty arose to her having no ticket ; but she explained ' J'ai perdu ma mari ' ;• and after much discussion 'among the officials, one was detailed to convey her to the British Consulate, where the Consul and his -wife received her with much kindness. He took her to a suitable hotel, and undertook to wire up the line to inquire after the strayed and ,lost husband ol the name of Rathbone. " Nothing, however, could be heard of him at any station short of Ees Aubrais ; and thence came the reply that an Engltshmai# had been seen there running about with a panie,r tinder his- arm, but that he was gone, and the station'' master could not v say "by what train or whitneK, but he thought he was in Orleans. Happily Bertha had sufficient articles of toilet in - her handbag, from which she had not been parted, to make her' comfortable for the "night. Mr. Passenger had enjoined on her to take soap, because it is an

article, not supplied in Continental hotels. As she took the soap box out of her bag, her eyes filled with tears. 'Poor, dear Willy! ' said she.; 'hqw dirty lie must be, as -I Rave the soap ; and, by the way, I have Ms razors and toothbrush as well. He has not

got even his comb? and brush with him. vvnat'a frousy, tousled -state he must be in ! I wish, however, I could v get at my trunk, so as to change my gown.'

She went to the station next day with the Con- ' sul's wife, to plead for her trunk to be given up to her. Bui on this point the officials " were obdurate ; not till the ticket was produced could it be surrendered.

-Bui; Bertha was a persistent little body ;, she laid the matter before the Consul himself, and entreated him to, .interfere and obtain the trunk for her. She represented herself as reduced fo pitiable extremities for the 7 want of garments which were in the box. Accordingly, In the evening, his Britannic Majesty-'s 1 Consul went with her to the" station, where, to their -surprise, they learned that a getitlenran— an English Monsieur — had produced the ticket and had gone off iwith both trunks to his inn. 'Oh, my Willy has arrived! Let me find him'! ' exclaimed Bertha, in wild delight. The Consul inquired of the drivers of the various .hotel' omnibuses,- and finally ascertained that the English gentleman, with, two trunks, had gone to Les Deux Pigeons. _^~ _

jMr- Rathbone had maturely considered what his , wife's course would in all likelihood have been. He en"deavorea to put himself in her position. 'Of course,' • .said he, ' she would be absolutely helpless .without me. She' wourd get out of the carriage at Tours, to a Hea»l certainty, and await me there, and there I should have picked Her up if I Had not gone round by thjifi "place called Limoges'. ■ Dear girl, I can picture hereto jnyself running up and down the platform looking out for me, and then bursting into tears when I did not appear. And she was so hungry, and that Was yesterday ! But these people, though French., are civilizes and Christian, and will not suffer her actually to starve. There is sure to be broken -meats and scraps from the restaurant at the station that they wil) give her. Why, even rabbits and pea fowls are sent by train long distances, and are fed and watered on fcne way by the porters ; how much more surely Bert.fia. _ And then, how cold at night ! 'iney would" j&ot allow her outside ' -Che station, having no ticket ; but I presume they would suffer her to sleep on the table, or in a chair in Uie waitingt-room. 1" wonder whether they Kept the fire up in the stove all night. Tfben we meet— absence will lena raptures. There is, however, one cotfisi9era|f.ton tfiai; makes me unea&y. These French -are very gallant; fo ladies, but their gallantry may be carried just a trifle too far, and may cause Bertha embarrassment,., as I am not by to protect- her. She needs my manly arm to defend her. Well, it is cold up here ; Iwill take my mandolin down to the cafe and string it there ; if there be no •one m "f.he place; I will drum a bit. It will help to .disrel tfie vapors. My -feet and fingers here are like ice/ - , t Accordingly Mr. Rathbone , descended and sought the caft attached to the inn. He entered and called for coffee' and cognac. Then he tuned his instrument and ran his fingers lightly over the strings, at the same' time softly humming to himself, 'She "is gone from my gaze IIEe a beautiful dream.' Oner' of the waiters spoke to him. He 'could not understand precisely what he, said, but supposed that the-" man inquired whether he" could play." ,' Ung poo ! ' replied, Mr. Rathbone bashfully. Thereupon the waiter went on apparently to urge him to indulge the com-pany.-with an example of his powers. Mr. Ratftbone showed a suitable diffidence, and explained' that -he -was - a very imperfect player, an unqualified singer— a mere, amateur. However, finally he allowed himself to be persuaded, and he struck up : ' She is gone ' — twftng, twa/np?- 1 from my gaze '—twang, twang,—' like a 'beautifu.' dream -—twang, twang: *■'-* Several' of those present drew near, among them" , some officers ana two or three ladies. Mr. 'RafchJbone ■ w&.<» -flalEtered. His fresh Englhsh voice was so unlike the tone of "EHe French vocal organ that it excited interest?.. „ He looked about him ' with a gratified smile on his lips. His song was apphiuaed, and he was encouraged to give a second. ■''-'- '.After -a" moment's consideration he sante Massin'^hi's ' The^Wrefeth.' TMs, it is true, is a glee for three vo'fres.v ■ a solo .wrfih a cHorus, but he, was accustomed - to perform it alone, the chorus being, so far as the words went, a repent-ion. .-He., ran his fingers over the chords as a prelude, and then began : 'Ye shepherds, tell me '—twang, twang— 1 tell me, have you seen '—twang, twang—' mv Flora pass, this way ? '—twang, twang, twang. «In shape

and feature bßauty's queen ' — twiddle, twiddle, twajhg. *In pastoral ' — twang — ' in pastoral array. Shepherds ' — This being the chorus, he thundered it .forth, with the full - power of his lungs, and with- full . force of. his instrument : ' Shepherds,- tell me, tell me, tell me, have you seen, have you seen,- nay Mora pass this way ? Have you seen, JLeU me > shepherds, have you seen-' — twangi— "Tell me, Have . you seen my Flora pass this way'? ' • All at once he 'saw before him, looking over the shoulders of the officers, the face of his Bertha, who was .attended by a gentleman". - ' He stopped his song and stared. ' Why, William ! ' exclaimed she, "what is the meaning of this? Tootling for coppers in' a cafe, when you - had given me the slip and run away ? ' ' I— l— l was .inquiring of these shepherds .if they had seen oiiy Bertba pass this way. I had lost you — and as Blondel with his harp sought Richard Coeur de Lion, so I thought to find you — and -I have succeeded." But, Bertha, this needs explanation. What is the meaning of this— your rambling about Bordeaux^ and frequenting cafes on 'the arm of a strange gentleman ? ' ' I am the British Consul,' said the person referred to. 'Your" wife, Mr. Rath-bone, was -lost -here,- and'was brought as a strayed sheep to the ' Consulate/ '• She has fojien inquiring everywhere for you, saying '' J'ai jjerdu-mon man."-. *No, indeed ! ! said Beetha, ' iry" French is not- so toad as that. lam more grammatical. I, said "ma mari," for I am feminine, whereas he is masculine.' 'And I,' said Mr. Rathfoone, 'have not ceased fromi crying! out after " mon femme," for 1 am masculine and she" feminine.'- " ' -

1 I have no doubt that you .have,' : .said the Consul. ' Take my advice and allow me- to ' engage "berths for you in a steamer from Bordeaux to -Southampton, and do not revisiO France till you are better acquainted with the language of the country, or till ~the French have become generally masters of the English tongue ' , ' And,' threw' in Mr. Rafhbone, ' Bertha, no "more about tootling to my mandolin, or there will be domestic discords in future.'—' Graphic.'

The report of the Postmaster-General (says the 'Daily News') is an interesting document, and it serves to throw some light on many important economic and social considerations not directly involved. We are accustomed to regard Ireland as infinitely poorer than Scotland, and so of course it is. Yet, if tt© [look at the Post Office as the criterion, the- exact contrary -would prove to be the case. There axe relatively more investors in Ireland than in Scotland, and -«ach investor averages a higher deposit than the Scotch investor. The explanation vs 'the obvious one, that Scotland's commercial prosperity provides fhe people with abundant means of investment, offering them good security, and a higher return than the Post Office, while m Ireland the area of investment is practically limited to the" savings bank.