The Family Circle

New Zealand Tablet, 6 December 1906, Page 37

The Family Circle

• FATHER O’SHEA- AND. FATHER McCREA V 3

Yd might search the world's ends, - • But ye'd find no such friends . . ■ " As Father O'Shea an '/Father McCrea. Very caustic in Wit > Was Father O'Shea, . But as droll every bit , .. •' : * Was Father McCrea ;' An' O ! such a volley o' fun* they were pokin', The wan at the other, as good as a play, Wid their ready replies an' their innocint joKin' When Father O'Shea' met Father McCrea. ~ - ' Now, upon a March 'Sunday itvjcame for., to pass, - Good Father McCrea. _ Preached a very fine sermon an' then, afther Mass, _ Met Father O'Shea. ' ' 'fl"was*a very appropriate for Lent Ye "delivered .this For the season o'~fastin' 'twas veiy well meant— I could fmd no meat in it ! ' Said Father O'Shea. Then, quick as the Jaughter that gleamed in his eye, ' Good Father McCrea * Raised a finger o' protest an' made his reply To Father Q",Sh«a. ' Faith, I'll have to he worlcin' a miiacle next, * To comply with your wishes. r " ' Dare I ' you ask me for mcali, my dear sir, when the text' Was " the .loaves an' the fishes " ? ' Said Father MdCrea. Very caustic in wit , Was Father O'Shea,. ~ But as droll every bit -._ Was Father MqCrea ; Though ye'd search the world's' ends Ye would ' find no such friends As Father O'Shea an' Father McCrea. —' Catholic Standard.'

WHO CAN BOAST

It had been >a. : very rainy dayaand "the children., had been kept in the house all day. There had been' wars. Joe would iiot play street car -with--"Ned; cause Ned would., not let him be conductor all the "time. /; ',"''_• ■"'."'■ .. _ :J 1 ,->'''. s . I "go with papa move do,so .know better what to do,' said Joe ; but Ned wbuld'S hot'; yield. ■, -.'•:' '■■:■■ ■>..-. ".[]^"-' w 'f ''" : .,.'.;;";;/: 'I know well - enough,' he said._- ; ' :■ v Then all tried to. play, school, but it was soon' dismissed because Mabel persisted in ibeing teaohe'r; 3 ; • ' 'l'm the oldest, and I know the most,' ' shel. de- ; ; Glared. ..' I'm not -going to t school to any; of you icliijp 1 ; dren.' ■■'"■'•■' :^"-''.": - - ■'-■■■r ■- I^-^:^ So it' had: gone most:, ,'o.f theday,~and mamma was thankful that it was nearly supper „time. There was a fire in the grate 'in .the library, and they, wer&ail"., gathered there waiting fori papa: ;)< .!.."/..' 'Do tell' us a story, mamma,' they said; ' a fairy, story ; one; told us before.'- - -.*■••; v: Mamma put on thinking a ; lew 'mrh-'S. iites ;i then, with 'a funny- little twinkle in -hei%: eyes she;.' told the 'following' story • : : "v . ' '' 'Once upon a time a "sleeky fat rat ina-farmer/s: v barn woke up feelings, : very hungry. ' ; I jiuist "bestirv ',■: myself, and. see what I can find to eat," he said tpiV, himself. So he started out,, and scurried here, -and-; there, through cracks and crevices and "all .sorts-;; of-,, •holes,. until .at' last he , found- Mriiself in ; ...farmer's ' granary. The first, thing 'he saw was a bag of peas, all tied" < up : as : nice; as> :ycju-please. v; ;V Humph\! ; -'£, said the rat, "I can easily get at those ;';. and 'in- c a twinkling -he was'gnawing a big; hole ,Xn the .."bag. -; The- peas h were:.niqe, .->fat ones r . and the rat enjoyed ■ them ,very ; .much.i .• -. ■;.-.^: ? ' , '\'.'^';-%;T r^^ •' u Mom foolish it is for people tp think : d^t can keep 'things; from me,'", he said", complacently- :.to r himself; - " They may- loclr Vtheir' doors and■,-< t'ie;.;: peas < - and corn up in-bags 'as ■■m'jich-. as they please. When.,l ...- . want"- r them 1 can'. ; get" tHdih; easily though.-'-. : ;Here;thej r ratvgave his. long-tall;a ;\ flirt: and,; tossed; his head, "'-- butC.tieiprei he. could; aiipther : ;word,' ! 'the; farmer's, cat, vwho had beeru ing' dpWp in s the;; corner .watching him, .; -suddenly ?; sprang.' out'"'and.' seized "him fast by, the- throat.. "Ah, ~ you ,creature:! " . she cried, as she tossed ;

hjm about, -"•• you made a mistake. I reign supreme here, you know ! " r lhen she devoured the poor lat, and walked off, holding her" head veiy ffoigh. But just as she turned the"" corner > her- master's greyhound bounded and pussy flew up a tree "as lively as she knew how. ' " There !'" said the dog, " I guess you won't .be so lofty when you come down. I'm the .master's favorite and much stronger than-you aire. 1 rYou knowthat' you* are 'afraid to come down and meet me fair and square.'' ' Then the dog, after he had frightened the poor cat nearly to death, laiii out m the field, where his - master's horse was pastured. , 1 " Grass-eater ' " he ciied contemptuously, as he ran in front of the hoise and barked furiously, "I . am fed with -t'he daintiest moisels from my master's table, while you are- set out'here'" inHhe field to eat grass." Then the dog sprang up, meaning to -/bite the horse, but he was too quid for him, and kicked him with-,, his iion-shod hoof, so fell deavrVon- the giound. ,j) "' 4 ' 4 '"" Ha, ha ! " neighed the hoise, tossing -his head scornfully, - c I go with my master to battle.' I have saved his life moie than by'* my fleetness. I have much more cause .to "boast than #ou, poor cur." • ' The hoise galloped away at full speed across the field into the forest beyond. Now, there was a, lion v in waiting thcie. He had been watching the horse-for - days- and he could hardly lepiess a loar of satisfaction as he him come neaier and nearer. At last he gave one mighty .spring and crushed him "'to death. ' ' " Fool ! " he loared, " you thought yourself a wondeiful cieaturc, but I am the king of >beasts. By my great stiength I reign* supreme ; there is none like unto me in-the foiest-." "But even, as he spoke a - bullet pierced his heait, and in lus death struggle-he . fell beside the body-of his -victim. The owner of "the horse, who was liding thiough the forest, had seen him fall upon Ins fayoiite steed and had slain him with his "well-aimed shot." '"King of beasts and monarch -of Hhe 'forest"- are - you indeed ? " he said. " Know you I am 1 monarch, .not you.". And (he man look the lion's skin, * v threw at over his shoulder, and rode pioudly home. ' But, alas ! before he reached theie a thunderstorm came up, and a flash of lightning smote the man and he fell dead upon the skm of the lion. ' . ' " What cause hast thou now.-to boast of thyself more than these » " lolled out the thunder mightily ' y l A know-why you told us that,' said Joe. « You -Ihink ue've all b-eui boasting too much wtfat we could do, didn't you ? ' . ' Peihaps,' leplied mamma. "Ft as' nicer " to let ' some one else puuse u.s, and not, our own lips, isn't ~ it f And it is also well for us all to ,femember that while we may be clever in some one-'way, theie are many others much cleveier. 'So we will iust~d6 the * veiy best we can—'- You in your-small cornet and I ~in mine " ' - '

BETTER THAN STYLE

' .vi .There is one", oharmevery wpman may« possess; and-• it' is a very attractive plainest! * woman is a delight k', ; .l6ok|upbn%if ! .of .exquisite neatness in; ev'euy respect. - .-.. : b e ;. done; .up securely I and 4inotf-. look ft. \Mwer&? : ready to around her shoulders at any moment Her gloves- musfc> be always ..'.mended,;, her boots in -.perfect condition, and neyerrahy a"t bot:4oms, .of : her skirts. Most men 'know "about but -will; notice, i&Siko'mari; - no.t, and it is .the quality. they most admire in woman.

MERELY An HA BIT j

;,■■,■.,; Occasionally -the brightest lawyer encounters a wit,rness. whose ansvycrs are a disappointment to 'him,"says " a; ; writer: in ; the Boston, A' Bit is >said thai:' i the; -late,' Governor Robinson 1 was; <oheyday:«examinang - ,man from* whom he was., tiying -to,-, get a' ; definition of, - -,-a: Nniracle.-- ~.,',■. '•/•.■-.■:, ; ■ ~ '"lf a man: should fall from a, \vh\d&wf fW f ;7;he;;:.saia> f.:and^should ,_.strike on; his hea'd'orf •'s*'* '"s^tone;^' ; fT; f walk .and. gct.aip •' and" ,! go away- •"uh : huftrwbat ;^biiia-! ;.C ■ ' That would be an" accident,' said the witness./- . r. • ;'Well, if the same s man. Jiext day fell-.fipm- the,. ; .same, window,*struck eh,'the -same spot?, <M{ aiis' itea& •v.lagain, - ; and /again walked "away "unhurt? what w woukT : ~..i.-,t>ha.t.■•.■■be,?-?!-;.= . '...<;.■ ; -^;- :^:.aH! ' i -i'v ■;-... •:*;-r'.Thatv.wouidi-be a coincidence.' ; ,-^:;•': yery : rWell,' .said ,'c- the; -lawyer ='.pa,ticntlv; and v cer■tain, that he. had his man at last,;. .' ; now-if a .thirds day .-.the 'same man fell again from the" same jvlri-'

(low, on the same spot, „on his head, and again walked away unhurt, what would you call that ? ' ' The same man ? ' demanded 'the witness ' ' Yes.' ' • '"The same window ? ' > ' ' Yes.' . _. .. ' And fall on the same sidewalk ? ' ' Yes.' " ' -"' _ ' I should call that a "habit.

TAKING PRECAUTIONS

An old Queensland farmer, while on a visit to Brisbane, was taken with a violent toothache.' arid calling on a dentist, was iuiormed that the tooth must be extracted and that he had better lake gas for the operation. , The-patient agieod to this, and tlien' started to'count his money. The 'dentist remarked, ; "Oh, you need not pay me until I have finished.^ ' I reckon not,' replied ihe farmer, ' but if you are going to make me unconscious, I though-fc T-d iest like to see how I stand.' -

ODDS-AND ENDS

According.to the representative ol Armsteong, Whitworth,.and Co., .who., certainly ought %o know the gieatest. advance in mechanical-industry during the last twenty-one years; has been .iu theanakingCaM^designing of machine- tools. As • these - twenty; -years- ' hav¥ seen nearly all the growth, of • taction by electricity,; tie rise of the motor' industry, and the a-daptation of the turbine to naval requirements;;.this means-much;— Bill Jones is a country storekeeper in Queensland spring he, to Sydney"*6 purchase a stock of goods, lhe goods .were shipped immediately, and reached home before he" did. . ' v -.v» When the boxes were .delivered at his store by : drayman, .his wife happened to looli at the largest: She uttered a loud cry and called "for a hammer. A neighbor, heanng,the, screams, her assistance, ' and asked what matter. .The wife, pale'and taint, pointed vlp- an inscription oii; the box, which readas follows: ' Kll inside.' ;' -

FAMILY FUN

,An Omelet Cooked in a Hat Over the Flame 0 r" a Candle..—State that you are about., td'cook~v a rifomelet i .- i Tou bresuc>foaf eggs-in hat, place the- hat' for a short time over the flame of a candle, and shortly hot produce ** ' omeletj ■ completely, cooked -and; quite> S^ 80 ", 8 W l- ■% .-:;.crc4WbV- enough ,to Relieve«2KL2 y + h^lß^ f ' ceHai « -ingredient you - have '■ enabled to. .cook, the -omelet without fire- ! but- ■ the : secret of the trick is, that the omelet had'been previously ;pooked and placed in the hat, bait-could not he seen because-- the. operator, when breaking the eggs '*• placed it too i ng h for the spectators to- olserve tie--k?- The - e ßg s -were empty ones, the contents having .been previously by -b©Wg : sucked -through a small aperture ; but. company " fro V bperatbrrshould, bperatbrrshould, as if by accident let a. full-egg fall 1 on the "table,- which* breaking duces..a -belief that - the pothers- are- also full.-- ■ *'-/■ . What that >hich no one wishes, to, have and -no one-wishesto: Jose ; ?h>. A,bald-vhead.; " ■ V™ 17 *, 1S I ".-6*tepost Hke a potato ? Because - they are put -Jn^p.-'the-ground to--propagate. . Why are ;i given over to plunder "~ Because they are, sacked and burned. ■■■■■■■'-■ ■"■"■< - ■ '■- What isxthat which- : is; often brought to the table' >cutr pack- of caßds.v. : '" - What moral lesson does .a, weathercock on- a. churchsteeple continually -inculcate■;?-■-.V;^is ; /vahe^tcr a spire . ; „™* 9 7 a, boy, throw dust Jh-his ■teachei-'s 7 Jv. ? ecause - *t niay r ..p.cbasian harm to ' the pupil ■■■<'■ - ~.,W ha V. are > th e- mos\. unsociable things in ': the world? Mile, stones, for see;two..of them together." a .:' ls i hat; whl^ hj: ' Adam -never Parents yet: gaye ;tw ° : to - each i of his chferw^?. Why is chicken pie like a gunsmith's shop ? Because it contains fowl-in-p»ieces. W £ a , fr , wor<i m ay be prononnoed quicker by addine a syllable to it? -'"Quick., : ■ .