The Storyteller

New Zealand Tablet, Volume XXXI, Issue 30, 23 July 1903, Page 23

The Storyteller

;AUiNT CAROLINE'S EXECUTIVE ABILITY.

Aly Aunt Caroline pos.sc-scd, a maucllous amount of executive ability, and as she was also surcharged with lorce, achievement was as .simple lv hei as it, vvab natural. She had the long, executive chin and observant eyes"; mat weie set wide apait, and look in entne situations at one comprehensive glance Aunt Caroline possessed also the .spirit of the reformer, and she longed to reorganise people and their aflairs, and so acute were her perceptions, so prompt her decisions, so uneriing her judgment, that she invaiiahly succeeded in i educing the most intricate ot problems to their lowest terms and producing collect icsults. Aunt Caroline had individuality ot a rare and pionounced nature. She has up-to-date, elegant, well groomed, and in a manner she was all that is designated by the term ' good lorm.' As a tribute to individualism she had her own name in the city directory, where it appeared directly in advance of her husband s But Uncle Jacob was a man of rare sense a 1 - well as good nature and indulgence, and he always seeim d mildly appreciative of his wife's talents

Nothing uas e\ci a rate t o capable Aunt Caroline She was a member of three boards of lady managers, a strict parliamentarian, president of three or tour clubs, was interested m a free kindergarten and day nurseiy, a leader of the best society in town, and a Si.akesper lan enthusiast She took French lessons, painted on China, made late, ti mimed the children s hats, designed their gowns and hei own, and had taken out nine patents Her house ran like a dock, her children were pertevtly groomed and well behaved, and— well, there was nc.ei a woman to compare with her.

' You aie sine to like Aunt Caroline,' I said to Mai - garel before we were married 'We shall h\e across the stieet hoin her, and she will le the best kind of fiiend I in le Jacob is a quiet man -who never says much, and he ne\er, inter leres with my aunt She has full rein to do as she likes/ Thus in; many ways I sought to ptepaie my wne for this paiticular member of my family by llliist rat ing lier peeujjar tendencies, e\en when v.c were on oui wedding tnp^' I was \ei\ anxious to ha\e Maigaiet like her Men make a great mistake when they ttv to influence women to like each other

' What pci'inai names \iinl Caroline's daughteis have,' wa-. Alaig.uet s comment a month latei It was he i" fust comment, and I had listened tor it ratlin anxiously ' U.iiv J.wic, \ininda. l!ets_v, and Cordelia Odd ,ui(l old-iaslnom d, ami ( tliev 9 ' ' They aic tannlv names ol two gout i ations ago,' 1 said X ' \uiit ('aniline likes Hieni he( ause they aie substantial and sititeie Shi thinks theie is artistic value in sr\ ci c and homst fashions

1 And vet she does not nnpic^ me as a person who would select names oi that sort lot children,' my wite continued 'Then 1 is an mcongiuity about it They are vciy piettv, well-behaved gnls I never saw such neat, weli-caicd tot heads m hair m my 1 1 le She tells me that she employs a liandiessei and manrcuie by the year to conic twice a > week to attend the gnls, and that between times they at lend each other She says each gill has ceitam i t t ies which she must hve up

1 1 don t know how she manages," I responded, ' but teitainlv no othei woman on ear 111 accomplishes so much as she does I have oMen told hei ihat she should open a tiaiimm, school, and Uaih other women to be as capable as she is '

1 I hay c been si u dv inu; your \unt Caroline's methods,' Margaret reinaiked one evening, when leUnnmg Worn a tall aiioss the \nothei month had passed and I ha.d not hastened mv wiles veidut ' I find that she has even hour ot the day scheduled 101 a certain duty Pleasure comes nuclei Hie same lit ad She has oflice houis in tin 1 moiiiiim, bet vv een eight anu nine, and again m the evenim; between six and s<*v en r l lie guls and servants consult hi i at those times Knday atteinoons, liom four to six, she spends with her daughters She has one week in eveiy month m vvlmh she paints china, and anothei week 101 lac ema king She keeps up with all the- new books She devotes a selccicd interval in each day to some vvoik that counts She gives certain hours to" club meetings, <uid she has a nine o'clock embioideiy and a two o'clock needlework \t ten m the morning she makes a round ol> calls on hei chanties, and there are certain days that aie devoted to social calls, that are retaliated with turn table exactness She plans her days and nights, and keeps a pencil and paper on the taboiette at the side of the bed, so that when a pai tit ularly good idea suggests itself she may strike a

light and jot it down. One day of each month is devoted to millinery, when she refurbishes the hats of the family ; another day a woman comes in to mend, and on three other days a seamstress is expected. She even has telephone hours, and she is never at home over the telephone at other tunes. ' She is a woman of unusual executive ability ' I said. ' I think she is crazy,' announced Margaret, coolly. 'If she isn't insane she will boon kill herseif. No human being can keep speed up all the time. Aunt Caroline never rests ' Maigaret may be devoid of executive ability, but she has the spirit of prophecy Whenever she prophesies, I regard her statements with apprehension.' ' Your Aunt Caroline is Aery ill,' Margaret, told me when I entered the house three days later. ' No, I have not seen her,' she continued, in answer to my question, ' but Uncle Jacob has been here and he looked very grave He has told her that the doctors give her only one chance to live, and that chance depends upon herself alone If she will he still and rest, and not even think about anything, she may pull out ; but if she fights her condition she won't live two months. It's her heart, and a complete nervous prostration,' concluded my wife in an 1-told-you-so manner. ' I feel sorry for [im-le Jacob,' she added, 'although I • thought he\ took it lather coolly Aunt Caroline has been looking terrible for some time, but no one has noticed it, for she understands so well how to fix heist If up. I never saw any woman who understood the ait of " making up " as she does She can wear false hair so that no one discovers it , she can pencil her eyebrows and rouge her cheeks so that even her own husband doesn't suspect it,' 'I've known Aunt Caroline a great many years,' I replied, with some asperity, ' and 1 never knew her to do such a thing in my life ' ' Then you don't know rouge when you see it,' said Maigaiet, quietly, and with that clear-toned decision that is so feminine and so convincing, and that makes a man feel what a dullaid he is 'Only an artist uses lougo so that it i^ undetected/ she added, ' and Aunt Caroline is an artist as well as— other things ' ' What did I nele Jacob say 7 ' I askod, in order to change the subicct. ' He said that he had talked with Caroline, and that she had asked to he left alone , she had so many things to think about ou know she is nearly twenty years younger than he is He said " You know, Caroline is a strenuous woman She is like Atlas She thinks the world would no! hold to its oibil if she did not support a laige section of it I have often told her that it would go on lust the same it we both diopped out She always looks at me as though she could understand how rt could get along without me, but she doubts its going on |ust the same without her " And yet,' added Margaret, who had imitated I nele Jacob perfectly, 'anyone tan see that Cncle Jacob is the steady spoke in the wheel I guess if he didn't provide the wherewithal for her to to do with her executive ability would have to go out of business ' ' mi don't like Aunt Caroline,' I ventured. 'Certainly I like her, but she accomplishes so much she fanlv makes me di//y , then, too, I like to see the credit bestowed where it is due But I am so sorry she is ill, and I don't mean to criticise her She is too hard on herself, and she doesn't know how to lrve and take things moderately Everything she does is a feat.'

'Temble things have happened since you went away this moining,' said my wife when I got home a few days latei ' Didn't you hear anything about it down-town ? I called >ou over the 'phone, but they said you were out Why, I tide Jacob's house took fire, and we thought the whole place would go surely One of the firemen can led \unt Caroline down m his arms and brought her m here Thete was the wildest excitement, and I didn t know but the shock would kill her, but she was as cool and seiene as a "May morning The fire only burned out the parlor, and when it was over, and everything ((iiietcd down, she insisted upon being carried hack "\ on would have though! from her manner that a fne was an eveivdav aftair, and that she was running the whole thing Cncle Jacob is not at home, and— well, it \ just terrible ' I went at once to mv aunt's bedside She seemed hnghter than she had been for a long time, but she looked delicate and old, a mete shadow of her former viv ac ious, capable self 1 The (ire woke me up, Richard,' she sard to me, with nun h of hei old-time energy ' I have been .sleeping and dreaming the tune away lately, and I have a great deal to do I must now get about it ' ' You must do nothing and think of nothing, Aunt Caroline,' I said , ' at least not until you are well and strong ' She paid no attention to my remark, and after a stioit hiatus she continued, as if she had not heard me :

. ' You know, Richard, I have always wanted an Empire parlor ; and now I can have it.' 4 What in the world do you want with an Empire parlor ? ' I demanded. F

Of course, I grant you that I may never need it but once ; but I should like to know that it is all right for the— the last function that will occur in my honor ' ' I wouldn't talk in that way, my dear—' 'Well no; Richard, you are right. I will not talk, put act. I am going to have an Empire parlor. I have it all planned. Heretofore I have not had it because of the expense, but now the insurance money will supply that. 1 shall have it all planned before to-monow muming. I wish you would explain it to your uncle when he comes home, for he will object. Tell him I have made up my mind. He will understand that.' Uncle Jacob did appear to understand it. He spoke ol the carpenters and the noise that would disturb her but it was no use, he said, to object, if Caroline had made up her mind. For the first time it seemed to me that Aunt Caroline was not right in her head, and I asked him about it.

1 Your aunt is a strenuous woman, my boy. It would do no good to oppose her.' One week later Margaret and I discussed the subject again.

It's a remarkable thing how Aunt Caroline's hoise goes on just the same when she is sick as it does when she is well,' she said. ' But I dare' -say she- 1 directs the entire menage from her bed, or else the momentum is so well established that it would r-in away The carpenters finished to-day, and she has been selecting the wall paper and carpet, the furniture, tapestry, curtains, ard draperies. I declare it's positively ghastly to :-;ee the way she has her bed covered with samples, an.l .he i^ as eagerly interested in everything connected «n,h ;hat bmpirc parlor as if she were in perfect health. Jfs tl'e first time I ever heard of anyone's getting ready to give a funeral, especially one's own. What do you tlink of it, Richard, anyway ? ' * Perhaps it's the ruling passion strong in death,' I made reply.

_ My Aunt Caroline's condition kept us on the gui Vive, of excitement for days antf weeks. When the Empire parlor was completed and the furniture arranged according to her direction, with every hanging and fold in place, she turned her attention to other' things She ordered samples of a thin cotton material resembling China silk, and from among a score of patterns she selected four, and ordered material for a pair of comfortables of each, with cotton wool to fill them When they were completed and brought to her room, she summoned Mary Jane to her bedside.

' Now, my daughter,' she said, briskly, ' here are eight comfortables— one pair for each of the four beds Do not mix them. The blue ones are for the guest chamber, and the olive for your father's bed. Be sure to keep the pairs together. If you take piopcr care of them you will have bedding enough to last three years. Then you must have another set made Don't cry ' These are things which we must look calmly in the face You may have the pink ones for your own room as they match your dressing-table and the wall paper Give the younger girls the yellow ones. There, don't cry ! The house will ha\e to run, even if I am not here. Retain the hair-woman, and see to it that she takes the usual pains with Betsy's hair and with Amanda's Never permit their hair to be done in curl rags. Cordelia's braids should be clipped some every month for the next year. Get a pencil and put down the quantity of sheeting I always buy, for you are sure to forget, and I am very particular about the brand You m.>v as well buy the sheets and pillow cases ready-made, but ne\er get the hemstitched ones. They don't wear. To-morrow the dressmaker is coming to make up some dresses for you and the girls. I want to see that you are mopcily clad for the winter.'

_ Aunt Caroline got ready for her demise rather leisurely, although no one could say that more work could have been done even if it had been planned When the girls gowns were completed they were tiied on and inspected, and then hung up in the "closet They were not black dresses. My aunt was too sensible for that She had no wish to have her children gowned in sombre black. Four new hats were also added to the collection of things to be worn after a while Of com.se we were all very much stiried up by these active preparations for death. The children, at first shocked, then grieved and terrified, finally began to take a lively inteiest in the mother's plans, and the entire family developed a frame of mind that was ludicrously paradoxical. But time slipped away, 'and Aunt Caroline still lingered, with apparently slight change in her condition She maintained a melancholy attitude toward the prese*nt, and with tightly compressed lips watched the execution of her ideas for the future 4 I guess Aunt Caroline has thought of about everything, hasn't she ? ' I said to Margaret one evening, for

there seemed to be a temporary lull in the activity of preparation. ' I am glad the girls do not seem to take the matter so seriously as they might.' 4 Every one is busy, and there is no time to mourn,' said Margaret. • I thought everything had been attended to, but she called me over to-day to consult with me about her plans for the last offices, and she made me leel very sad in spite of the absurdity of it all. She has made up her mind that she is going to die, and 1 suppose Fate, as well as the rest of us, will have to Rive in to her executive force. She doesn't look much more like dying than I do, and I am sure she is not right in her head.'

' What did she want of you ? ' 4 She gave me directions about her funeral, and if the thing were not so lugubrious it would be awfully funny. She wants a violet funeral ! What do you think of that ? The casket is to be violet color, and her gown is to be violet, and there are to be no flowers but violets. Margaret shuddered. 4 Don't bring me home any more violets for a while, please. I assure you, Richard, that I have gone very nearly to the end of my rope. Somebody will die around here soon. If Aunt Caroline doesn't, I believe I shall.' Margaret looked extremely serious for a moment, and then began to cry. Presently she was laughing again, so that I was alarmed. 4 It's nothing, Richard. I have to laugh, I can't help it. And yet I must cry, too. Please let me cry.' 4 Control yourself, my dear.' I said, 4 and tell me the rest, if it is not too painful.' 4 Painful ! ' exclaimed my wife, and she shook with suppressed laughter. ' Aunt Caroline has asked the children what they wish to give each other and to their father next Christmas. She has made out a list of gifts, and next on the programme is their purchase. She has even ordered tissue paper and violet ribbon with which to tie up. the parcels. When they told me that, after she had been ordering a violet funeral, I nearly collapsed. It is ridiculous to permit her to wear everybody out as she is doing. She seems to have nothing but executive brain cells, and she certainly has an abnormal amount of them. She is not only crazy herself, but she will drive me to insanity before she gets through. I have begun to plan my affairs at night, even now.' I regarded my wife with some concern as she made this disclosure, and forthwith decided that something must be done. I should certainly feel sorry to have Margaret become the strenuous woman that my Aunt Caroline had always been. Business shaped itself so tint I was compelled to take a trip abroad, and I made my plans to take my wife along with me. Her health demanded that she should have a rest, and I we it home one night with the information.

'We will go to New York to-morrow, so that vre will be ready to sail on Saturday,' I said. 'Uetyouiself ready at once.'

' Aunt Caroline says she wants to be cremate! ' said Margaret, betraying the fact that the all-absorbing family topic was still uppermost in her mind. 'Do you think we had better go until after—that is— while Aunt Caroline lives ? '

4We will sail Saturday, life or death,' I said, with emphasis.

' Doesn't it interest you, Richard, to know that your aunt has abandoned the idea of being buried in the cemetery, even after buying the lot and composing her epitaph ? ' My wife spoke seriously and with tears in her eyes The situation w r as certainly telling upon her nerves. Margaret no longer mentioned the subject with levity.

4 Yes, I know, my dear, it is all very painful and exhausting, but let us drop the subject now and talk about the trip.'

The next day we made our farewells Aunt Caroline took considerable interest in our intended departure and we left her with the feeling that we had looked upon her face for the last time It was a sad beginning of a trip, that should have been one of only pleasureable anticipation

We had been in London less than a fortnight when we received a cablegram from home, and as I tore it open Margaret sat down on the nearest chair and held her hand to her heart as though to fortify herself against the worst news that it could contain. I read it. Then I read it again. And then again. Then I read it aloud : ' Sail Germanic with Caroline Wednesday.' It was signed by Uncle Jacob. ' Do you suppose Aunt Caroline decided to be buried over here? ' I inquired at last.

1 I cannot think that,' said Margaret. ' There is a limit to everything You know she had the drawingroom in Empire style. She doted on that drawingroom. I don't mind telling you now, although Aunt Caroline told me in the strictest confidence, that she designated the exact place in the parlor where the — the — box, you know, Richard— was to stand the day of the— the— funeral.'

1 My poor darling,' I murmured, smoothing my wife's hair. • Your sympathies have indeed been imposed upon. However, you think that if she had made up her mind to have a function instead of an obsequy she ( would not wish to change her mind. I wish you would not cry about it. Something has happened or else she would not travel abroad.' • Probably she has changed her mind about the demise altogether, and thinks she will live a while longer. She claims that every condition is mental ; that we can control circumstances by will power. I presume,' concluded Margaret, ' that, as she has everything arranged to run for two years after she has departed this life, she thinks she may as well take advantage of the situation and go abroad.' I regarded my wife so seriously that she mistook the expression of my face for one of rebuke. ' You think me facetious, I know, Richard,' she said. '1 haven't told you half. The house was to have been decorated with palms, and the musicians were to play dirges and things in the Empire balcony.' ' And as we do not know in what condition my aunt is now, I Ihink we should not jest,' I said. But I was sorry on the instant of the utterance, for Margaret produced the ominous pocket handkenhief. ' There, there, dear ! ' I said, with all possible haste. •We will wait and see. You are such an excellent prophet that 1 dare not dispute you. It would be jolly if Aunt Caroline should get well, you know.' • She will outlive us all,' said my wife, with quiet assurance. Talk the matter over as much as we would, Margaret and 1 could not seem to interpret the significance of Uncle Jacob's message. Perhaps he was bringing, her over for some treatment not possible in America, and in that case she was not de>ad at all. In any event, I could not tax my wife with the care of the sick, so I took her to SwtUerland at once, and after finding comfortable lodgings for her I went to Liverpool on the day of the arrhal of the steamer to meet Uncle Jacob. But the smiling lady with my uncle was no candidate for burial nor yet for a sanatorium. In her neat and stylish travelling coat Aunt Caroline was as trig and as well groomed as ever she was, and she bore not the least resemblance to her shade. ' How did it all come about ? ' I asked. ' Ah, Richard, my dear boy,' said my aunt, ' this is too good a world to leave, so I decided to stay. Death itself is much a matter of will power. I decided to live, and here I am.' ' A sensible and practical idea,' said I. Uncle Jacob and 1 stepped out together a short time after they were settled in their hotel, and wliat he said was this : 1 I didn't think any of| thje time that your, aujnt was going to die,' said he with his characteristic drawl. ' But I knew that she would never lie in bed if she had no plans to execute. When she took a notion to plan her own funeral, why, I let her do it. She fixed the whole house all over new. She cleaned the house, she made bedding, she made clothing for the girls, and she planned everything ahead for three years to come. You know your Aunt Caroline likes to run things. She has a great deal of executive ability. She always runs me. I'm used to it. She has so much force she is obliged to exhaust it in some way. Why, she runs all the chanties in town, and all the reforms and all the clubs, the church and everything else. The notion of running her own fune-ral was a brand-new idea. Then she planned to run us all for the remainder of our lives. She's a master hand at running things. If she had been a man she would have been a Napoleon. But while she has betjn m bed thinking all these things over, she has been re^> and really enjoying herselt As soon as you and Margaret left she showed a disposition to abandon her plan of dying and decided to think about going abroad. She says she has fixed things so that she can stay three years if necessary. 1 Well,' I said, and I hope it did not sound as if I lacked cordiality, ' I have got to go home on the next steamer. If I had known you were coming we might have waited for you. In fact, as it has turned out, we needn't have come at all.' But dear old Uncle Jacob never suspected what I meant.—' Ledger Monthly.'