The Young Man.

New Zealand Tablet, Volume XXX, Issue 8, 20 February 1902, Page 19

The Young Man.

I couldn't help remarking the number of single young men who entered the White Island Church, last Sunday, who ought to be married. They ought to start a monastery. They are all goodliving and good-looking young men, and I am sure the Bight of them makes the hearts of all the unattached young ladies in our congregation play leap-frog with their lungs. And these same maidens (ia the words said by Artemus Ward concerning those of New England) 'air aa snug-bilt peaces of Calliker as I ever saw.' But some men, like Estremaiura corks, tvka a lot of drawing to make them ' pop.' I don't know what they are afraid of. It is only the young man in the novel, whose name is Algernon or Gustavus or Adolphus that has to make himself ridiculous by going on his knees to propose. And all that talk about the stern parient keeping a dog to scare off eligible parties is sheer rubbish. In nine cases out of ten he doesn't keep a dog for any purpose under the sun ; and in the tenth case you would be able to give the corpulent lazy, toothless old bruta 40 yards in a hundred and beat him by 25. The coy maidens on White Island —and elsewhere, I suppose, too — do all they can in a sweet and reasonable way to draw the Eitremaduras to the popping point. They even set at defiance the old law still unrepealed which provides that ' all women, of whatever age. rank, profession, or degree, whether maids or widows, who shall, after this Act, impose upon or betray into matrimony any of His Mijedly'd subjects by virtue of scents, cosmetics, washes, paints, artificial teeth, false hair, or high-heeled shoes, shall incur the penalty now in force against witchcraft and like misdemeanors.'

Some time ago at Canvastown, Mrs. J. K. Hart, replying to the toast of 'The Ladieß,' twitted the Hon. Mr. McGowan with being a bachelor, and said it seemed a wonder to her that such a miserable creature as a bachelor should ever be allowed to Bit in Parliament. ' lie shouldn't be allowed to sit anywhere,' said this uncompromising foe of bachelorhood, and plainly indicated that he should he compelled either to 'enter the bonds' or to step off the earth Well, something must be done, and done without delay. And I hereby notity the White Island bachelors that if a reasonable percentage of them do not enter what my friend Bartle terms the ' bands of padlojk ' after Easter, I will join all the Debating Societies in the Colony and get the jo. to resolve once more that bachelors should be taxed. Perhaps our esteemed pastor will follow the eximpleof the Rev. Thos. Scully, of St. Mary's, Cambridge, who late'y declired his intention to tax all unmarried men in his parish ov r 25 years of age 2,"jd0l a year until they reach the age of 35, whea they will be taxed 50dol. ' After that age (3aid his reverence) they will be exempt from the tax, as no woman would care to marry them then.'