Grade and Gay.

New Zealand Tablet, Volume XXV, Issue 31, 10 December 1897, Page 31

Grade and Gay.

HOW THEY DO IT IN THE STATES. In a cosy little parlour in a World's Fair hotel they sat together— he and she. " Mrs. Chickwell," he began, " may — may I ask your first name ?" " Amy," softly answered the charming young: widow. " Amy ! Lovely name 1" he rejoined, taking her hand. "It seems as if I had known you an age " "It has been at least three days and a half," she murmured, dreamily." "'Haven't we had abundant opportunity to get acquainted ? Haven't we walked together the whole length of the Manufactures Building ? Have we not been " " But, Mr. Spatohley, think of " " Call me Harry," he pleaded, possessing himself of her other hand. " Well — Harry — if you only knew " '• I don't want to know, dearest ! My heart tells me all I want to know. In my far away California home I have often dreamed of a time like this, when " " California ? and my home is in New England 1" "It wouldn't make any difference to me if you came from New Zealand !" " But Harry " " I know what you are going to say — ' This is so sudden !' It isn't sudden. I've waited more than three whole days, and my mind was made up the minute I saw you ! Don't turn your head away, dear 1 I " ..." I have a little surprise for you, Amy," said the enraptured young man, half an hour later, in some embarrassment. '• Excuse me for a moment." He went out of the room, and returned presently accompanied by a stout old lady with a determined expression of countenance. "My dear," he I said, " this is my mother. SShee — cr — will live with us, you know." "So glad ! And I have a little surprise for you, too, Harry." She left the room, and returned in a moment, with five fair-haired little girls apparently ranging in age from 3to 13. " These are my little darlings, Harry," she whispered. " Lydia. Minerva, Penelope, Rachel and Mehitabel, kiss the gentleman. He is to be your new papa 1" A HAPPY STROKE. James Gordon Bennett, the founder of the New York Tie raid, had a way of dropping into the composing and press-rooms at the most unexpected times, and as his visits often resulted in a general " shake up " and reorganisation of the paper's managerial, editorial, and working forces, they were awaited with fear and trembling by his employees. On one of these occasions, one of the pressmen — a man who had worked for the elder Bennett, and was an excellent workman, though guilty of an occasional lapse from sobriety — had a bad black eye, and was in a quandary as to what excuse he should offer if Bennett noticed it. Acting on a sudden inspiration, he seized an ink-roller and rubbed a daub of ink on the side of his face, completely concealing the discolouration of the skin. Presently Mr. Bennett came into the press-room, and, with the superintendent, John Hays, went carefully through, criticising every detail and looking sharply at each employee. When about to leave, he tamed suddenly, and pointing at the besmirched pressman, said : '" Mr. Hays, what is that man's name ?" The culprit quaked in his shoes until Mr. Bennet said slowly : " I want you to give that man three dollars a week more wages. He is the only man in the room that looks as if he had been working." HE KNEW THEM ALL. " Never has there been a great rider for the last half a century that I have not known," declared the patron of the turf, as he gave his diamond pin a twist to the right and patted his light necktie just to see that the ends were even. " Have any personal acquaintance with Centaur .' " asked the man with classical features who seemed to be gazing abstractedly out of the window. " Centaur / Centaur ? Knew him like a book. Kansas boy. First mount he ever had was a Hambletooian colt, and I owned the colt. He was bred for a trotter, but turned out a runner, and little Centaur rode him. That boy would have made one of the be*t riders that ever straddled a saddle, but he went foolish and joined a uireu*. Last I heard of him he was turning back somcrbaults through paper hoops." " I suppose you knew John Gilpin ? " " Did I know Johnny Gilpin ? Better than he knew himself. Johnny and I were side partners for four years Eat at the same table and slept in the same bed. There's a lad that could ride any horse that ever looked through a bridle, and a more graceful rider never brought a candidate down the btretch. Johnny Gilpin ? Well, I should say. Poor Johnny ! one of Corringan's fillies kicked him in the ear at Lexington." " Ever happen to run across Paul Uevere ? " " Didn't I bring Paul out .' Nobody else could ever finish a race as that boy could. I've seen him beaten at the stretch and win by a length. But what's the use of us two talking 1 I knew 'em all. Can't go amiss on me. You find a jockey that I did't meet and I'll show you a pumpkin husker trying to ride a horse." RHODES AND BARNATO. One of the best stories about Barney Barnarto concerns a big " deal " some six years a?o, when the Barnatos brought from De Beers 220,000 carats of diamonds for £247,000, Mr. Rhodes selling for De Beers. "It was like this," said Mr. Joel, " Barney made him an offer for the whole lot in one parcel. Mr. Rhodes considered it, and said at last, ' I'll let you have them on one condition.' ' What L is it ? ' asked Barney. ' That you let me see what neither gods nor * men ever saw yet.' 'Well, what is it,' again says Barney 'Why.' says Mr. Rhodes, ' 220,000 carats of diamonds in one heap — a, bucketful !' ' Done,' says Barney, 'I'll take 'em, and you shall see your bucketful of diamonds.' So the deal was struck, and they poured the diamonds all together into one bucket, and then emptied them out in a heap, and they both looked at it and had it photographed, and said it was what no one had ever seen before. And after they had enjoyed looking at it, and the diamonds wcro handed

over, it took us six weeks to sort them all out again, and they were kept off the market for all that time." " Smart man, Mr. Rhodes," added the narrator. " When, you think that every stone had to be examined separately and sorted into 160 classifications, you will know what sort of a job sorting that bucketful was ! And, of course, Rhodes had the market to himself all the while ! Smart man, Mr. Ceoil Rhodes ! Barnato Brothers don't mind big deals, but they don't buy 'em by the bucketful any more." HE WAS THANKFUL. Down in the rural district it happened that the Mean Man invited the preacher to dinner. The Mean Man had plenty of money but he didn't spend it on his table, which, on that occasion, showed but scant fare. " Parson," said the Mean Man, " times air hard an' groceries high ; but, sich as it is, you're welcome. Will you ax a blessin' ?" " I will," replied the parson. " Fold your hands." And then he said :—: — '• Lord, make us thankful for what we are about to receive — for these greens without bacon, this bread without salt ; and after we have receive i it, give thy servant strength to get home in time for dinner."