Grave and Gay.

New Zealand Tablet, Volume XXV, Issue 28, 12 November 1897, Page 4

Grave and Gay.

TUAVIXUXW IX THE TUAN&VAAI,.

In the current number of the Smith African Catholic Magazine, the Rev. Father F. C. Kolbe, gi\es the following entertaining incident ot his travels in the Transvaal :— •• The'title of these little faket'j'ie- i> " Throiijh the Transvaal," which implies that I went a'so beyond it: and 1 did. 1 was most anxious to study the Portugese aspect ot Africa, and tin ugh one cannot do much in a day and a half, yit a single ghmp-e w ill often reveal a good deal, if you reflect upon it. Straw.-, t-ometnn' s show the way the wind is blowing.

For example. I came across a pt-itii n-master — not at Lourenoo Mirqut. 1.-.—full1 .-.— full ot uniioraiL'd pompo-iiy. swaggering about as if he were dru n -major at the trooping of tne colours, and ordering me about a* if I were as blactc ao himself. Wei 1 , 1 eventually persuaded him that I had the important business ot taking my ticket, and that that 'rain was not going o i Wit \out me. lon * as he had kept me and it waiting already. The price of fie ticket was ;*3a M, but I handed hrn ia duoumjrij entitling me to the privilege of hilf-fare. The a'.btiTv-c proble n of divid.ng .{:;-. ill by l' a Jj.ice took all the starch out of lu>, u'ufcr n. He worked the problem about ten different tim s. ap;ru\ntiy by a different until' d each time, with no -;ati-fae-tory r -suit-. I tiinu'ht of trying t) e\plai:i to him my dodge of Skew -division, but the train was waiting. At last, to put him out of his agony, I suggested by way of a round sum that I had paid 17s when coming the other way. This bolution at once restored his ri'gnity. Affecting not to notice my raet'k t-uggestion, he tackled the (irtioi.Hy once more, by a perfectly new method this time, and alter two '.Limut^ further wrestling produced the following calculation : i 2 !>*:«_ 17. I ilul not Lire even to smile, lc->t I might never be allowed to leave Portuge -c territory. Imw that the m.m had determined to do that sum o- <lv% 4 and it 1 had shaken his confidence in myself, the whole pro toJin^ would have beju.i a^ain da ccijjo. :.I1\1U) MEI'APIIOi'S '•.-•ciutitu-/' In th* X< >r ,;?/'an,! V/ri', gives a couple of mixed' iit taphor-, whi li t-r.j ddigh'tul. An ni'-uiance journal, ypeukiug <» the i^rccl oi liro ln^.ir.i'i •(■(_• rip im,^ ior newbu-auess, saya, '• This is the grain of laus-taul siv 1. horn w hich has grown tbe upas tree of nSi.ti g." Tut; seen..! ore i- cvi belter. A Chicago paper reports din i m )T of Uongiv- .toh iw , a.J, m discussing the proposed tiirtff oa \\<>o). '■ You will keep o,i clipping the sheep that lays tl c golden e-^g> U'Hil you milk it dry." Alongside of which may he given the tolWnig, placet by the JJ>i'!>hi>\o the credit of a Now Zealand legislator some yojia ago: ''The honourable gentleman let the cat out of the bag, and made it a stalking-horse, which he afterwards meanly. cas>t oveiboard to lighten the ship. ''

IT SET HIM THINKING

A story told by a good-natural Anglican parson has the merit (soys the Are Maria'), of injecting" a littlo humor into the dreary dispute about Orders. He was rifling one day in a jaunting-car near tho Lakes of Killarnoy, whose famous echoes sometimes repeat a sound as many as eight times. Wishing to '• take a rise out of the driver," the clergyman said • '• Do you know, Pat, that there are none but Protestant echoes here 1 "—"" — " No, sir, I niver hard it ; and I don't believe it aither," was the reply. •' Well, you shall hear it very soon," said the Anglican. Arriving at a favorable spot, he called out softly, raising his voice to a loud pitch on the las>t word : "Do you believe in Pio Jfoiio .' " and the eohoe replied :•' No, no 1 No, no I No, no!" Pat was delighted at the joke ; and, rubbing his hands gleefully, saiJ. : "Bedad, whin I drive one of the raal clargy here, won't I have tho sport oat oi. hi-n ! " And the parson began to reflect on the validity of hi.s Orders.

THE EVOLUTIOX 01' DONKEYS

In a small town in North AVales tho town clerk and the local auctioneer met in a public hou.-e at Christmas-tide. They were having a quiet chat, when the auctioneer espied Pat p.iss by. Thinking he could have a joke at Pat's expense, he called him in and said :—: — " They tell me, Pat. you are gooJ at conundrums."' " Shure, I'll have a flop at one," said Pat. " Can you cell mo," said the auctioneer, ■• how there are so many more donkeys in Egypt than in Wales / "

" I can easily answer that," said Pat. '■ In Egypt they let them be donkeys for ever, while in Wales they make auctioneers of them." Collapse of auctioneer.