RANDOM NOTES.

New Zealand Tablet, Volume II, Issue 109, 29 May 1875, Page 12

RANDOM NOTES.

" A chiel's amang ye taMn' notes, An' faith he'll prenfc 'em. Fudge is furious, and when Fudge is furious Fudge is funny — for \rhich, however, le must be held blameless. To those who read Fudge this may appear strange, fun not being his forte, and therefore, in the possession of a quality so foreign to, and unusual with. Fudge natural, the change requires a note of explanation. Fudge is ambitious and aspires to rival Milton or Muldoon in poetry, and Thackeray or Tim on in satire. While unhesitatingly conceding the former, I heretically hazarded a doubt about the latter, and forthwith the vials of Fudgistic wrath have been uncorked, and I have been told " the time o' day " with a vengeance. Had Fudge been allowed to pursue the even tenor of his way, his weekly production would be stili conspicuous for its massive dulness, and the solitary spark which last week threw its feeble ray over his otherwise sombre column, would never have had existence. Floriculturists tell of flowers which emit no perfume until they are crushed beneath the heel 5 now Fudge is not a flower, and yet — but why pursue the simile further ? After exhausting an abundant stock of " spicy wit, keen sarcasm, polished 6atire, and scathing irony," Fudge cries peccavi, and with a candor which, like charity covers a multitude of sins, admits that his column was never intended for axight but'fudge, or else he should " not have wasted so much valuable space on sucL a subject aa the ' Bankruptcy of Liberalism.' True, thou man of noble aspirations, and I heartily agree that it was the "concentrated, &c, &c. &c," to hold forth upon a subject of which you had as much knowledge as a cat has of conic sections. Nevertheless, for daring to hint at what he has since innocently admitted, Fudge became indignant, and Hudibras and a host of minor missiles were hurled at my devoted head. Although obstinately refusing to accept the kindly advice tendered, I notice that Fudge is determined in f uturo to make his productions intelligible, and by poetic extracts attached to each item, furnish the key to the gmysterious, and solve what, without them, would be as great a problem as the identity of Junius. But still, it must be confessed, were Fudge to give his readers more of Hudibras and Co., and less of Fudge, a deal of speculation would be saved.

ANOTHER turn of the political kaleidoscope, and what do we behold ! Otago's most rising politician astride the State locomotive. At least, so he is in the estimate of the ' Ghiardian,' and of course it is always correct. If the subject of its recent leading article and extraTagant laudations possesses but a tithe of the virtues with which he has been accredited, the Province has indeed secured a treasure, and the sooner the steam — metaphorical and actual— has been got up, the better. 'Tis true the slight drawback of a superfluity of loquaciousness lias been admitted. lam afraid, however, tiere was a hidden irony in admitting this weakness, and in the same breath dubbing the orator a, "rising" one ; but certainly if: used in that sense, those who know the gentleman in question will i-eadily admit that in the facility ■with, which he gets upon his legs he is indeed a rising politician. If he has been as a private member as near perfection as possible, and the only defect has been a desire to rival his wonderful namesake, we are promised that, as the Minister with the weighty cares of State tipon his shoulders, his reticence will in future equal the famous parrot, which could not speak, but was a perfect wonder to think. lam somewhat doubtful of the efficacy of the change of position, but if Mr. Fish is to remain a public man, and siicb. a transformation can be effected, then by all moans chose the lesser evil, and purehaso his silence, even at the price of a seat on the Treasury Benches.