RANDOM NOTES.

New Zealand Tablet, Volume II, Issue 92, 30 January 1875, Page 7

RANDOM NOTES.

_. —^ " A cliicl's nninn^ yo Inkin* notes. And faith uo'cl pront 'out." So j)ooi' Larry Bourke is no more ! But. perhaps you may havo never heard of the chosen of Kilmore, and the telegraphic item from Victoria announcing the demise of the legislator }s, therefore, a sealed book to you, Mr. Bourke — as ho was called prior to his becoming public property, when he paid the penalty of popularity and became plain Larry — was the successor of Sir John O'Shanassy in the representation of Kilmore, in the Victorian Assembly. In. the early days Larry was for many years chairman of that august body, the Road Board of Murdering Gully — a classic region a few miles distant from the representative town alluded to ; and when the worthy knight took his seat among the Lords, Kihnore threw itself at Larry's feet, and Murdering Gully became widowed. The incident possessed an interest far beyond its local limits, and the following graceful mention of the transaction occurs in the columns of Melbourne ' Punch ' : — " Mr. Laurence Bourke, having successfully represented Murdering Gully, has been promoted to Kilmore." As a debater Larry was scarcely equal to the ponderous and " weighty " politician who preceded him ; but as a silent deliberator ho was without a peer. Being an ardent admirer of the motto, " Speech is silvern, but silence is golden," his deliberations were marked by a " depth of thought," to which adequate expression was rarely given ; for, like the wise parrot, though unable to speak, he was a perfect wonder to think. Cincinnatus was taken from the plough to save his country, and the chair of Murdering Gully became vacant at the public demand, a demand the sincerity and unanimity of which will be best appreciated by the following incident during the election campaign. On the occasion of Mr' Burke expounding his political doctrines to his constituents, the eloquence of which was drowned by the applause by which they were received, with that spirit of fair-play always to be found at gatherings of the kind, a friend of the candidate, (of the Celtic persuasion), in the intervals snatched from expectorating on Ms palm, in which was clutched .his national weapon, coaxingly inquired — " Is there any gintleman wishes to ax the candidate a question ?" followed by a " flourish " of the national weapon aforesaid. Whether the eloquence of Mr. Burke or the artistic " flourishes " of his friend were the more convincing, it is hard to judge, but a very considerable time elapsed before the slightest inquisitiveness with regard to the candidate was exhibited. At length one sceptic having expressed a wish to have a doubt cleared up, was eagerly invited by the Usher of the Rod to " shtep f orrid," which he accordingly did. He commenced — " I wish to ax Mr. Bourke why he did not," — but before the impeachment became public the "national weapon" and the cranium of the inquisitive elector collided, and, gracefully assuming a recumbent position, "the subsequent proceedings troubled him. no more." With sir look of approval at his handiwork, and a tighter grasp of his instrument, with the view to remove any further doubt in the minds of those present, the question was again put — " Is there any of her gintleman would like to ax the candidate a question ?" The unanimity of that meeting, and the 'absence of dissension to the resolution " that Mr. Larry Bourke was a fit and proper person, &c, to represent the enlightened constituency of Kilmore " was "a just and honored tribute to the convincing oratory of the candidate — and the persuasion of his frierd. Writing of candidates, elections, and senators brings to my mind an incident connected therewith, which has never as yet soiled paper. At a township not fifty miles from the scene of tho above, a local celebrity named Billy Cooper came forward, and offered to sacrifice himself on the altar of his country. Unfortunately Billy's education had been completed before the intro,duction of compulsory education, and his declamations, while they evinced a total obliviousness of the existence of Lindley Murray, were coupled with sundry artistic embellishments, which, although amusing, were scarcely admissible. On one occasion, however, tho eloquence and fluency of an address delivered bore so marked a contrast to its predecessors, that a doubt was raised in the minds of his hearers as to its originality, and a supposition entertained that the speaker was not the author. At its conclusion, and after the burst of applause which had greeted the termination of the orator's peroration had subsided, an individual with a thirst for knowledge broke the illusion with the following: — "Billy, that's a foine speech, entirely ; but Billy, avic, who wrote it for you ?" This base attempt to rob him of his newly-acquired laurels met with the contempt it merited, as Billy, rising with the occasion, replied with a sneer of ineffable scorn — " No one at all, sir ; I made it up out of my own cognomen." "You never can tell till the numbers are up," is a saying which holds equally good in electioneering as in racing, and, notwithstanding the enthusiasm of the reception of his utterances when that event took place, Billy's '•' cognomen " had five solitary admirers, for each of whom he was mulcted to the extent of .£lO, the numbers having faith in his abilities being far below the proportion necessary to reclaim his jBSO deposit money. • Mr. J. T. Thomson must indeed be a proud man, for not oiuy has he secured the friendship of the political head of the Province, but we find that official seizing upon the opportunity of the visit of Venus Expedition to press, on the part of the British Empire, the claims of his protege on the French and American nations. At a dinner given to the officers of the expedition, His Honor the Superintendent, in apologising for liis absence, concludes as follows, as reported by the ' Guardian ' of Wednesday week : — " I need not cay that I look upon the occasion as one of very great interest indeed ; and that, as political head of this Province, it would have afforded me much pleasure to have been present, and on behalf of the people of this small section of the British Empire to have conveyed to otuFrench and American friends our earnest hope that tho. three great nations may long continue to go hand in hand in the pursuit- of

scientific research— that, burying the animosities of the past, they may evermore remain united in every enterprise which is calculated to promote and extend the happiness and progress of J. T. Thoinson^Esq., President Otago Institute." Why a Mr. Thomson —and particularly a Thomson without the p— should become an 2?f* w £ s^citude to three great nations, is a matter of which Mr. Macandrew is the sole repository, and which hitherto he has kept locked within his own swelling bosom. A circumstance, too, which adds additional weight to the mystery is that the utterly? 8 ?. ?l 8 iT a ; ltliou g l1 appearing differently in a former issue, had been altered specially as above for insertion for Home !£!? ce ii S * 4.1 ll^? 6 hoped that the two S reat nations appealed to, and also the third great nation on whose part the appeal has been made, wUI sympathise with the object, and, in the interests of humanity, carry out what, m the opinions of Mi-. Macandrew and S«J ?^l ' an mcalc «la,ble benefit to the three great nations, the world at large, and J. T. Thomson in particular.