NOTABLE TECHNICS

New Zealand Listener, Volume 35, Issue 897, 12 October 1956, Page 10

NOTABLE TECHNICS

T the moment of writing (but who knows what giant steps will have been taken by the time these words teach their readers?) Auckland is at the early, or Sisyphus rising stage of vast plans for civic development. Sisyphus, it will be remembered, was a gentleman engaged in rolling a rock up a hill. He had a lot of trouble getting started, and then, when he had overcome inertia and almost reached the top, gravity took a hand. The rock slipped his grasp and thundered off to the bottom again. Enough of Sisyphus, who still has endless toil ahead of him. To get their Master Transport Plan rolling, the Auckland authorities now have to toil for the money. The Government has made an offer, but won’t add what is still needed. The local authorities ate therefore busy stirring each other up and presenting press statements to overcome public inertia, Waving the Plan, they affirm that it was put together by the most notable gathering of technical men ever to apply themselves to a single city problem in this country. These twenty-six notable technical men have lined it up so that circa 1970 there will be enough roads to hold the vehicles. Some roads will go under and some will go over: some roads will be for stopping and some toads for going. As I understand it, it’s more of a Plan than any other city has, even Hamilton, and it’s worth money. The only suggestion I’d make is an insurance recommendation. I’m sure there are now more cars than rabbits in the Auckland Province; the rate of increase is likewise greater, and may be too much even for twenty-six notable technicians. Provision should be made throughout the area for the setting up of Car Boards, on the same basis as Rabbit Boards: that is, with a killer policy. Then, if there are still traffic jams when all the new roads are built, three-quarters of the traffic cops can be seconded to duty with the Boards, and start work/as car killers, trapping, | poisoning and gassing out likely garages. That should take care of the unnatural increase, and may save some of our young people from the fate that has fallen on Americans; their legs are dropping off because they won’t use them any more, Tally! A YOUNG person was telling me the other day that he times himself driving to and from town by the number of records he hears on the radio during the drive. He is a young person of considerable vitality, who likes to listen to

the radio any time-and loud! He says the aver- ‘ age is five records from home to work. He has one of these magic eraser memo pads on his dashboard and he makes a vertical stroke for each record up to four. The fifth is tallyl-a long horizontal stroke crossing the other four. He reckons on three’ minutes for each record. Actually, most of them are

longer than that, but he says calling it three looks after the commercials, too, which keeps the whole thing simple. If he makes it in four, he’s either driving dangerously or he’s had a clear run with the lights. (He didn’t say how many tTecords it took a cop to give him a ticket for speeding.) If he makes it in six, he’s had a terrible time from obstructive woman drivers. He aims to get in before the boss, who is a punctual nine o’clocker, Sometimes he doesn’t. "I know when that happens," he said, "because I run clear out of records. When Aunt Daisy’s morning greeting bursts over my head, I know I’m in live performer’s territory--and in trouble. If I come home with a beatenup expression, my wife says, "Oh, so you over-ran Aunt Daisy this morning, eh? Who did you stop to pick up?" Two records for a blonde on Symonds Street may or may not be good timing. Tally! Lambing Percentage in Elysium HEN it comes to sheep, I hope the Cornwall Park trustees know they’re on a good thing. Their grazing land is no Mackenzie Country. Every now and then I see the shepherd going round the ewes and lambs. He doesn’t use superlatives, but it’s a safe Bet shepherds on the Elysian Fields don’t either. He looks after about 170 acres of tazing; the most they’ve run there is 500 sheep; 500 ewes and 200 wethers. This year the grass got away from them a bit, and when it does that it grows to rank tufts which the sheep won’t eat. It has to be kept close grazed. The shepherd didn’t think it had been much of a year: "All that rain,’ ‘he said. "Still, it’s starting to come away better now," and he scraped at a tuft with his boot, starting digging ambitions in the heart of one of his dogs, ""This land’s been in use a long time,’ he went on. "Used to be Chinese market gardens. Look along here. You can see the ridges and hollows where they cultivated. Yes, a long time. Reckon these olive trees must be a hundred years old." In spite of the wet season the sheep’s feet were clean. That’s good husbandry. Footrot was bad on another patch of grazing a short way off, leased by a local body. Lambinzg? "We’vée had a bit of trouble with dogs. Lost nearly thirty in two nights," Percentage? He was reluctant. "Well, she’s running at 116 per cent now, but we haven’t near finished yet. Anything can happen." Even in Elysium it pays to keep a cautious

tongue in your head.

G. leF.

Y.