UNDER THE SKIN

New Zealand Listener, Volume 32, Issue 820, 15 April 1955, Page 5

UNDER THE SKIN

Sir,-Could I interest-your contributors in a product I hope shortly to market? It is an emulsion somewhat similar to that used for rubbing on toosheer nylons in the hope that it will prevent them bursting into holes and runs. My product is designed to prevent local patriots from bursting into print (and flame) wher someone takes an objective view of their particular paradise. I call it my "Epicermis Extensioner for ThinSkinned People." Observing Mr. Lawrence Constable in the cactus over his remarks concerning the nice little town of Takaka, and the reaction of local patriots, I hope his opponents do not cap my experience. My survey of a certain locality for The Listener a year or so ago brought forth a militant denouncement from local businessmen who formhed a "Businessmen’s Association" for the express purpose of writing The Listener. That organisation never functioned before or since. Even the local body got into the act and approached two Cabinet Ministers to uphold the glory of the township, with the added suggestion that my gentle remarks might un¢uly influence a coming Government Commission on transport. I note that another contributor to another weekly journal is at present in high disfavour because he cracked a joke at the expense of a Junior Chamber of Commerce. He will learn! In mentioning these instances, Sir, I am aware that you will recognise them

as sales-talk for my product, and that these remarks should really appear in your advertising columns. May I say in conclusion that the proceeds from my sales will be used to reduce progressively the cost of the product with the eventual aim that a bottle will be issued free-under Social Security, of courseto every New Zealander over the age of 16. (Bottle to be returned if people leave the countrv.)

GORDON

INGHAM

(Brown’s Bay).