SO LONG AT THE FAIR

New Zealand Listener, Volume 29, Issue 751, 4 December 1953, Page 9

SO LONG AT THE FAIR

by

SUNDOWNER

NOVEMBER 14

HY do boys attend Agricultural Shows? I used to think the iure of. novelty led them in, the crowd, the sideshows, the noise, the excitement. Now I know better. I spent six hours in the Show Grounds on Friday with two primary school boys (Standard 3 and Standard 5), and they spent most of their time dealing in bottles. Wher-

ever we went their eyes were on the ground, and if

their thirst had not kept pace with their earnings they would have ended with pockets ful] of silver. As it happened they did no more than pay their wayby which I mean their ice-cream way, their bars of chocolate, their raffle tickets, and fizz drinks-but it was all picked up on the ground. Beer bottles, to my surprise, they left lying where they found them, but if any soft-drink bottles remained untouched the reason was that they could not be reached in the impenetrable jungle of legs. I don’t know whether it is ‘still the custom in "schools to use occasions like these as topics for compositions. If it is, and these two lads are asked next week to describe what they saw at thé Christchurch Show, I would like to see the answer. The truth would be bottles and legs, and heaving rows of other boys trying to get first to the sales counter. I don’t think they would remember to add that they once or twice saw a deserted grandfather watching wearily from a distance. *& ok the

NOVEMBER 16

HE reason given by my Show companions for ignoring the beer bottles was that these "had a warning on them that you couldn’t rub off." The real reason was that the soft-drink stallholders would not buy beer bottles. But I have my doubts about that stamped-in warning. When I have paid 2/4 for a bottle of beer that I can myself brew

for 4d. I have no legal qualms about "

my ownership of the empty. I noticed

that the warning which could not be rubbed off was

a simple intimation that "This bottle is the property of the Associated Bottlers"; is, not remains, It is the property of the bottlers before they fill it and pass it on, but I don’t think they would be very zealous afterwards in running people to earth who claimed the bottles as their own, It calls for no great .effort of the imagination to see what would happen if such a notice is valid, and were enforced. But I doubt its validity. It is good enough to scare small boys, and breed caution in unscrupulous dealers, but I should be surprised to know that if is expected to do more. than that.. I have always ranked it with the repudiations of responsibility on, passenger tickets and some insurance policies, and the surcharges on late-paid accounts. They bluff the simple and timid, but are not often tried on hard heads. For me, fortunately, beer is not a major expense. I am not going to confess to teetotalism, but, in fact, I am not much better than a total abstainer. In this matter, as in some others,’ the atmosphere of Otago was so favourable to puritanism that the Surrey half of me had no chance at all in my youth against the half that harked back to Fifeshire. So I am still uneasy in a bar, and a hesitant and clumsy host at home.

NOVEMBER. 18

*k Bs Eg F I wanted to provoke a row I would start talking in a loud voice at Addington about first-cross sheep; ask a Corriedale breeder how a half-bred can

have a_ pedigree, or a breeder of straight Half-breds

what he does with the vagrants and throw-backs. But I am like Godfrey

Bowen-"a humble man who hates the limelight." There is nothing I desire less than to figure in a breeders’ free-for-all, unless it is to swallow propaganda till I vomit or choke. I am not. trailing my coat, therefore, when I call a Corriedale a fixed half-bred ("and not) too bloody fixed neither," I heard someone say on judging day). Nor am I sticking out my neck if I call a Half-bred an unfixed Corriedale, although there are many half-breds nowadays that have no acknowledged and recent Merino ancestors. But if it was an achievement to create Corriedales to begin with, and is not yet easy to keep on _ creating them, where does Mendel stand with the South-Suffolks, RomneyDowns, South Borders, and other creations now appearing in the saleyards and pushing at the gates of the Fairs and Shows? Is fixing a breed

a waste of time, or time too dearly bought? Is Mendel outmoded, or, since a lamb is going to die anyhow before it is a sheep, is it sufficient if its parents look the part?

These are, of course, questions without answers, profitless, therefore, and a little dangerous. It would be as sensible to ask if a Ryeland is a big Southdown or a small Romney; if an Angus is a groomed Galloway or a Galloway a sadly neglected Angus; if a Redpoll is a Milking Shorthorn polled by science; and if the new beef Shorthorns are not Angus-Galloways with their horns back and their original pigment. * aK *

NOVEMBER 19

T was one of those perfect Canterbury days on which only farmers would: argue. We had seen too much in too short a time, and were having a difficulty as we drove home in sorting our impressions. Suddenly Eb said that what he had seen had done him no good. It had been interesting but hens

settling. It confirmed an opinion he had held for

years that the trouble with Canterbury was bad farming..It was no use seeing how things should be done if no one would do them that way. Zeb did not agree. It was no use doing things better than you could afford to do them, he said-painting your yards, swinging your gates, tidying up your edges, planting decorative trees. "Well, what do you know!" Eb said. "How can you be efficient if you just muddle along?" "Some of us can’t afford efficiency." "No one can afford inefficiency. And what about morale?" "What about debts?" "Yes, what about debts? Who will give you credit if your fences are down, your buildings falling down, and your whole farm shouting out that you kave lost heart?" "Who will give you credit if it is clear that you are riding for a fall; that you have bitten off more than you can chew; and are determined now to plunge further?" "Go to your bank with your feet out of your boots and see how you get on." "It would be safer than going as a flash Alec. You have sooner or later to lay the cards on the table." "Yes, and show your farm." "T agree that a well-kept farm makes a good impression. But a well-balanced profit and loss account makes a better impression. We have to face the fact in Canterbury that we are ‘not old enough yet to be properly equipped, sor rich enough to spend money on luxuries. Painting our buildings is a necessity, but painting our gates and fencing posts is 90 per cent waste." "Nothing is wasted that gives a farmer confidence, cheers him as he looks round, and gives him pride in his work. Swing your gates; and you wil] find it easier to swing your axe, your slasher, your pick, and your spade. Prop them up, or tie them up with wire, and you will soon need something to prop yourself up. Perhaps you will look for it in a bottle." I found it difficult not to agree with both. But at that point we reached journey’s end, and the party broke up. (To be continued)