MAD HATTERS' PARTY

New Zealand Listener, Volume 28, Issue 723, 22 May 1953, Page 8

MAD HATTERS' PARTY

M.B., whose observations on human nature in its more eccentric moments have frequently entertained our readers, succumbed to the lure of 2ZB’s Crazy Hat contest. Her entries "also ran," but she claims to have learned a lot, as others — non-starters or also rans — may read.

"VE never been a clothes-con- -# scious woman, but even I felt some misgiving about appearing at the Grand Finale of the Hatsamania contest uncovered. It seemed a ‘little disrespectful, considering the importance of the occasion. But what choice had I? The crown of my best black straw, butchered to make an Indian holiday, is an essential part of my "Squaw" creation, and my peachbloom black pillbox, currently smothered by a pillow, is absolutely basic to my "Desdemona." But I am not alone in my hatlessness; Have the other bareheads likewise put their hats beneath rank outsiders? All the men present are, of course,’ bareheaded, but probably for a different reason. (The only advertised male entry in the competition was contrived from an old pair of trousers.) *]T’S early yet, and I have time to go the rounds of the display tables once more and marvel at the infinite ingenuity of Woman. The tables are more crowded than they were a week or so ago, and it’s now obviously impossible to display the 270-odd entries in a manner befitting their originality-there’s a certain amount of quarrelling going on between styles, colours and periods. I feel the urge to impose some order on the richness and extravagance about me. Can we generalise at all about the Woman Behind the Hat? Let’s see. She reads the newspapers. NE hat, in the form of a gondola, is actually made out of newspaper. (Of course it could have come round the fish-and-chips.) But we have ample..evidence that she knows what’s going on around her by the tendency to topicality in many of the models.

There’s the United Nations Topee, an early prize-winner. Then the enormous number of Coronation models, many combining the Patriotic with the Domestic motif -one hat was called Coronation Buttons and Bows, another had a realistic border of gilded clothes-pegs. Awareness of local happenings was indicated by an intricate model of Maraetai; "Petone Overbridge" was a second-heat prize-win-ner, a very conscientious piece of work unmarred by the suggestion of flippancy noticeable in

the Harbour Bridge Model (sub-titled "Auckland’s Dream’’). She’s a Sporting Type. PARTICULARLY liked the two race models made out of expired tote tickets, particularly the one with the horse and the balloon that had gone up, but now unfortunately had gone down. Our other national game was represented by "The First Try," I think it was called, a football rampant on a field vert, with a complete line-out of opposing teams. Then there was an impassioned little model, ‘Save the Ashes," consisting of an outsize ash-tray and cigarettes, garnished with crossed bats and wickets. Several hats featured card tables with hands half-dealt. ; She’s no Wowser. CONFESS I was rather shocked by the number of models based on the Hangover theme. Certainly there was one cocktail. hat composed entirely of tin-foil milk-bottle tops, but the major-

ity boasted everything from crown-tops to champagne corks. The inclusion of a packet of aspirins among the trimmings was almost de rigeur, and this further reinforced the unwelcome suggestion of direct personal experience. Several equally sincere models took Smoking as their theme. She’s Incurably Domestic. T looked as though most of us found it hard to escape thé domestic angle, either in theme or in materials. The wash-day motif was popular ("Professor Mundy"-a revolving clothes-line on a mortar-board drying-green, was a first heat prize-winner.) Charring came. a close second. One model was composed of an inverted bucket with check dishcloth and feather-duster for ornament. One of my favourites was "Friday packhorse," a cornucopious string-bag crammed with packages and protruding vegetables. Many of the hats were based on sewing and knitting themes-you can

make a smart toque out of a hank of wool and two knitting needles. ~ She has a wee. developed Maternal Instinct, ’M not a Freudian by any means, but I couldn’t help’ feeling there was something significant about the large number of hats based on the nest-build-ing theme (certainly Elsie Lloyd did mention nests as Hatsamania possibilities in one of her early broadcasts on the subject, but I prefer to think that the contest provided an outlet for a basic urge rather than that women are all that responsive to external suggestion). Be that as it may, I saw hope for the national future im the birds’ nests, hen-coops, and sitting hens. And I .think we could include under "Maternal" the model houses, the Stork number, and one perfectly sweet Christening Model, which consisted of a bassinette with drapes. She’s Resourceful. 7

CTUALLY all the models showed this to a greater or less degree, but it was gratifying to see how many objets if not d’art then de vertu could be contrived from unconsidered trifles like scraps of wire netting, old corks, handbags, shavings, and, of course, that old pair of trousers. She’s a Good Citizen. UR current road safety campaign was reflected in several models-notably the Traffic-’at, a third-heat prize-winner, which boasted a trafficator arrow on either side worked by strings, a rearvision mirror in front and a red light at the back. She’s Not Noticeably Literary. HERE were very few literary concepts (my Desdemona was nowhere to be seen) but listeners would have been interested in a chatming model called "Dinner at Antoine’s"-a gloved black hand with a cigarette, emerging from a black velvet cushion. There were: two Garden of Eden models; incorporw

ating Tree, Serpent and Apple, one with particularly seductive lines. She’s a Glutton for Puns. UNS may be the lowest form of wit, but in Hatsamania they tended to result in the wittiest form of hat, Two eye-catching models, based on _ the human eye, with wire tentacles outstretched to catch lesser eyes (Dali would have liked these), a Striking Model, made entirely of matches and match-box sides, and shapely enough to be entirely wearable, and two elegant Spring Models, incorporating large furniture springs, and a Teak-Toque made of wood shavings (though probably rimu). And there were endless variations on the Eat-My-Hat theme — complete breakfast trays, garlands of fruit, vegetable cocktails, and confections of iced wafers and lollipops. She’s a Superb Needlewoman. ANY of the models were little miracles of craftsmanship. One represented a complete millinery showroom in miniature, meticulous in every detail. Another a showcase with model hats. Then a delicious model of a maypole with dancers. And "The Wheel of Fashion." surmounted by dolls in

national and period costume. * * * UT there’s no more time for idle generalisation. A flourish of microphones, a battery of cameras and the judges are mounting the platform, I find it easy to believe their opening _temarks, that they’ve had a very hard job, and that the standard has been unexpectedly high. What is a crazy hat? I ask myself, allowing my attention to wander from the stalling tactics ("Reasons Behind the Decision") which invariably precede the climax. My personal preference is for something a little on the subtle side, something schizophrenic, the leg-pull rather below the surface. , . Ah, "The Week-End Joint’! My favourite has romped home! Yes, it’s a beautiful example of a crazy hat that’s definitely a hat. A perfect pill-box, made from rolled nylon stockings backed with red or white cotton wool, tied with string and hatpinned with wooden skewers. Only at second glace do you realise it’s a perfect sirloin. | Second, "Busy Line"-a triumphant scarlet telephone, made of conventional millinery felt, but with enough exaggera-_ tion of line and proportion to make it almost completely unwearable. Though on the right person .. .? Third, "Bats in the Belfry," a nice echo of the Crazy Hat theme. Actually, pronounces one of the judges, a perfect coolie shape. But as well as being a hat it’s a yellow-tiled belfry, as the wearer walks the bats flap and a bell rings. Madness, but there’s method in it, We clap the judges. It’s a most popular verdict. We clap the prize-winners-absent friends, probably skulking modestly at their radios. Then we, the alsorans, melt away, happy for the most part with the results but a little wistful at the thought of those other perfectly lovely hats that deserved but couldn’t get a place because somehow there weren’t quite enough places. What will become of them? Too crazy to be exactly wearable, yet perhaps the right person might get away with them. At any rate, I needn’t worry about "Squaw." My five-year-old son’s all set to get away with it.