UNEASY TOMTOPIA
ITMA Suffers a Sea Change
OMTOPIA, the territory at present being governed by His Excellency the Rt. Hon. Thomas Handley, is a place whose latitude and longitude have never been exactly stated, but in terms of clock and calendar it’s to be found at 7.59 p.m. on Friday evenings, on a frequency of 790 _ kilocycles-which means 4YA. Mr. Handley left London for this darkest spot some weeks ago, had some curious adventures on board ship, and within the next few weeks at 4YA will have further curious adventures. Mendoza, BBC pictorial correspondent in Tomtopia, has supplied the accompanying pictures, and by _ cable from the Governor himself comes the following Christmas message: (GREETINGS stop your tickling stop Jock On behalf of native population have asked Paramount Chief Biggabanga to send message in basic Utopi as follows: Ombah effer for stop effer ombah for stop for effer ombah nonstop Translation follows quote We're longing for a Black Christmas stop Colonel Chinstrap writes quote Native wine quite drinkable stop Have tried native whisky Can’t stop Major Munday sends seasonable greetings to Prime Minister and hopes that Mrs. Disraeli is well too stop Am teaching Miss Naieve Munday the meaning of mistletoe STOP! Miss Hotchkiss sends a special greeting to the members of the Melton Mowbray Mixed Hockey Club quote Up girls and atom stop Sam Fairfechan in special message to Llantwit Major quote I remember some delightful Christmases in Llantwit Major and some even worse ones in Llantwit Minor stop Bow Wing ‘and Scrap Ping are manipulating mince pies with chopsticks -Ha-ha stop George Gorge has just tried new dish Jellied Rattlesnake which he pronounces quote Lovely grub lovely grub unquote Sorry I cannot be with you Christmas but have an urgent appointment in jungle-which reminds me have you heard one about the barmaid and elephant quote Mr. Handley!! Message ends abruptly-Ain’t it a shame, eh? Ain't it a shame?
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New Zealand Listener, Volume 15, Issue 390, 13 December 1946, Page 21
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319UNEASY TOMTOPIA New Zealand Listener, Volume 15, Issue 390, 13 December 1946, Page 21
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