HE SAID, THEY SAID

New Zealand Listener, Volume 14, Issue 362, 31 May 1946, Page 20

HE SAID, THEY SAID

i ies talking about culture he said. Oh yes they said we're interested in that. You would even go so far as to | say you are all for it he said. Oh yes they said eagerly not perceiving his irony. Well I’m against it he said. Oh no they said you can’t be. Besides you look so intelligent. It is futile to flatter me he said. I am above all that. What have you got in the way of culture he said. We have all the visible manifestations of culture they said proudly. Art galleries and what-not. Do they pay he said. You don’t get the idea they | said, they’re not meant to pay. Not in crude cash the way you're thinking. Oh they don’t pay their way, these art galleries and what-not he said nastily, Of course they don’t pay they said. Then they run at a loss he said. And who pays the deficit? We do they said, though obviously that was the first time the thought had struck them. And what benefit do you get out of this deficit you subscribe to he said. How many of you frequent these art galleries and what-not? A few of us do, they said. Most of us don’t. You’re very honest he said. And the most of you who don’t, why don’t you? It’s not exactly our cup of tea they said. We really prefer to go to the pictures or listen to Bing Crosby on the radio. AND who directed these art galleries and what-not to be built at your expense he said. We don’t know they said. Presumably the few who go. And so you subsidise the pleasures of the few he said. It appears we do they said. Heavily he said, rubbing it in.

They must cost a lot of money they said. These people who build these art galleries and what-not for their own delectation, he said, and ask you to pay for them; do they, in return, subsidise your pleasures? Eh, they said. You shout them a free art gallery or what-not he said. Do they shout you a free trip to the pictures even? No they said regretfully they don’t. Then why do you do it he said. It raises our standard they said. How can it when you don’t go he said. We mean the city as a whole they said. A town would look pretty low if it didn’t have an art gallery. I see he said. Then your motive is purely snobbish. . We deny it hotly they said. HEN why don’t. you let the péoplée who want these things pay for them he said. You don’t have to pay to build picture theatres do you he said. No, people build them for you and do handsomely out of it. Why? Because it’s a form of culture that nearly everybody understands and likes. You don’t pay much for your radio entertainment, do you? No, because everybody likes it and understands it and it pays its way. But the producers of erudite music and esoteric drama have to pay heavily to put their shows on because nobody would pay to listen. What are you leading up to they said, You’ve got no culture he said you're kidding yourselves. We have so got culture they said. What about our carillon? Your carillon he said wrinkling his brow in heavy concentration. You know they said anxiously, up by the museum and art gallery. Oh yes I know it he said, his face clearing with mendacious comprehension, you mean the wireless mast? The wireless mast they said, words almost failing them.

| Written for "The Listener" |

by

BRIAN

SNOWDON

I notice that the air force lads who occupy the (indispensable-for-cultural-reasons) art gallery and what-not are using the carillon to hold up t’other end of their aerial. I wasn’t aware it had any other purpose he added innocently. You lie they said bitterly. You know it is there primarily to play tunes on bells. One very seldom hears it, he said musingly. Mind you he added hastily, not that I want to hear it particularly. But it is left unplayed for such protracted periods that I consider it likely that the services of a tuner will be required. Possibly several tons of metal will have to be filed off the bells to bring them up to pitch he said sarcastically. Mind you, he said, not that it would sound any different in tune or out of it. It all sounds dreadful to me. Therein you reveal yourself a yahoo and a goon, they said. The sound of bells is beautiful. Why the cities of culture in the middle ages all had carillons. Giotto (the immortal) designed one of them. ; Of course mind you he said quickly Giotto didn’t think a hell of a lot of the bells himself. But they hadn’t got anything better those days. But now, bless your soul, we’ve got wurlitzers and Hammond organs. Or is it the fact that carillons are out of date and tuneless that gives them their cultural value? O but, he said, seeing that they were temporarily unable to answer, why not stop kidding yourselves? You don’t, want culture. Why spend thousands of pounds on things that delectate only a minute fraction of your number when you personally don’t care for them and would far rather just go to the pictures? It’s true, isn’t it, he said more gently, that you don’t care very greatly for the music of bells. It’s true they said regretfully. And it’s true that your pleasure in life wouldn’t be greatly impaired if you didn’t have art galleries and what-nots he said. Surely they serve some purpose they said, trying to convince themselves. Certainly they serve a purpose he said. At present they are housing-even if not very comfortably-various offices of the Armed Services. Herein appears your hypocrisy he said. As it is being used as a military installation it might conceivably have been regarded by a hypothetical enemy as a military objective. Suppose it had been bombed, he said, what would have been your reaction? What would be our reaction they began indignantly. You would have said a curse on these vandals who designedly seek out to destroy our temples of culture he suggested cunningly. We certainly would they said warmly. And by that remark you make yourselves hypocrites he said triumphantly,

since you don’t use the place, and in a time of national stress when morale is vital, the morale-building value of an art gallery and what-not is so slight that you can afford to close it to the "culture-loving" public and use it as an office. But... they said. I haven’t heard of any picture theatres being closed down to be turned into offices he said. They hung their heads, Summed up he said you have no desire for culture. Your love of culture so called is merely a liking for ostentation. You have no faculty that requires to be expensively titillated by the building of art galleries and what-nots. You have no. We deny that they said. Ah he said, so I’m not as I imagined flogging a dead horse. The animal breathes. And what is this faculty you claim to possess that can only be satisfied by art galleries and what-nots? It sounds ridiculous they began diffidently. It is bound to be he said kindly. We are Wellingtonians they said. When we walk to work in the morning the city and harbour are spread out before us for our consideration. And you don’t even notice it he said. Ninety-nine times out of a hundred we don’t they admitted freely. But the hundredth time we may look and then we stop-even if only for a momentand something moves .. . Your hat blowing off he said desperately, not liking the turn the argument was taking. Something moves here they said serenely tapping their breast. You can’t deny it; you’ve felt the same. You have, haven’t you? To be honest .. . he said. Thank you they said. And that means despite what you say there is an awareness of beauty. ; And on that foundation you build art galleries and what-nots he said. We don’t need any foundation other | than an admitted awareness of beauty they said. It’s a mighty thin foundation he said. It’s all you’ve left us they said, but it’s sufficient. It’s the ultimate, it’s the fundamental. You've chased us a long way, but you can’t harry us any further. On ;that we stand. I won’t take it from you he said. That’s very kind of you they said ironically.