WHAT THE DOCTOR ORDERED

New Zealand Listener, Volume 11, Issue 268, 11 August 1944, Page 10

WHAT THE DOCTOR ORDERED

(Written for "The Listener" by

KINGSLEY

BRADY

R. EDITH SUMMERSKILL ex pressed a hope that on her next visit to New Zealand she will find New Zealand women taking a more active part in public affairs. She has also suggested that women should have more babies. Our contributor forecasts what our charming visitor MAY discover on her next visit. ae bs ad Scene One: The Landing Stage DR. SUMMERSKILL steps from the flying boat. A chirpy little piece of goods comes forward, proffering flowers. Chirpy: Dr. Summerskill, I presume? Dr. S.: Good afternoon. Thanks ever so much for the flowers. Chirpy: I'm Daphne, M.P. for Waitaitai. Welcome to New Zealand. Sorry the Prime Minister couldn’t come to welcome you. She. . . she’s having @ baby. Dr. S.: How nice! And how patriotic. Chirpy: Her fifteenth. I was the fourth. Dr. S.: Exciting, isn’t it? How many girls are there in the Prime Minister’s family? Chirpy: Eight. Mummy says it’s no use talking about Net Reproduction Rates and suchlike unless you do something about it. Dr. S. (enthusiastically): I should say not! And is the Leader of the Opposition having a baby, too? Chirpy: Oh, no. He’s a MAN. He’s having hysterics, I expect. Dr. S.: I expect he is, poor man, Chirpy: I wanted to introduce you to the new Mayor of Auckland but she’s gone to collect her Wife and Mother’s Allowance, and the queue: is THAT long you’d never believe. . . # * * Scene Two: House of Representatives, Wellington 1st Hon. Member: Why is the Government building so many five and six bedroom houses when it is obvious to everyone that the need will not be met unless every house that is built is a MANSION? (continued on next page)

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3nd Hon. Member: We on this side think the Family Allowance should be increased to £1 for each child, or £15 per dozen. Dr. S. (in Distinguished Strangers’ Gallery): This is gorgeous. Prime Minister: Mrs. Speaker, I suggest now, if it will suit the convenience of Hon, Members, that we conclude, this sitting and attend the Baby Show now open in the Social Hall. 3rd Hon. Member: What about the Budget? Prime Minister; Baby Shows are more important, and should take precedence. Correct me if I’m wrong. 4th Hon. Member: What about the price of fish? Prime Minister: The price of fish, together with the question of Husbands’ Golf, Racing and Beer Allowances, will be thrown open for debate at this evening’s sitting. Hon. Members: In secret session? Prime Minister: Oh, definitely. 5th Hon. Member: May I ask the Hon. Minister of Education how long teachers will have to put up with classes containing 150 to 200 children? At one school in Auckland there are 250 children in Standard 1 and only 28 in Standard 5, In the Primary Department there are thousands, The local suppliers of liquid milk are becoming millionaires. Prime Minister: The Hon. Minister of Education is worried about the position, which has changed considerably since 1944, In the meantime, steps are being taken to effect an improvement. The Government is advertising for teachers in Stepney and other foreign parts. Racing stables are being used as Teachers’ Training Colleges, While she is in the Nursing Home, the Hon. Minister intends to give further considerable thought — between feeding times-to the problem (A note is handed to the Prime Minister by. Black Rod, who applies a dab of lipstick while the Prime Minister reads it), Girls! Girls! I mean, Hon. Members! The Hon. Minister of Education has just given birth to two Amendments. (Applause). I move that the House now adjourn for the Free Milk Interval. (Mrs. Speaker rises, hesitates, then resumes her seat. The Prime Minister dashes to her aid), Darling, how excitWhy didn’t you tell us? I had no 31G@@.....

Scene Three: Bellamy’s 1st Hon. Member: Dash of Rose Hip Syrup, please. ‘ 2nd Hon. Member: Handle of milk straight, please. What’ll. you have, Dora? s . 3rd Hon. Member: A. double Cod Liver Oil, darling, and a spot of Orange Juice. 4th Hon. Member: A Peach Melba and 16 Toffee Apples, please. Hon, Minister: Excuse me, girls, I'll have to fly now. I’ve to meet a deputation from the Husbands’ Union protesting against the Government taking over bowling-greens for toddlers’ playgrounds. Good-bye, girls!