"SECOND THOUGHTS ARE BEST"

New Zealand Listener, Volume 10, Issue 260, 16 June 1944, Page 16

"SECOND THOUGHTS ARE BEST"

James Agate Makes a Proposal About The Brains Trust

The following letter to the editor from the English critic, James Agate, was published in a recent issue of _ the BBC’s "Radio Times." IR,-I was reading my morning paper over a delicious breakfast of eggless omelette, butterless toast, orangeless marmalade, and sugarless coffee when my eye fell on some words in an article about the Brains Trust: "Nobody can be blamed for talking nonsense in a silly game of snap answers." It was a bitterly cold morning, but I went hot all over at the recollection of my last experience of this kind. Did I know the nature of a thunderbolt? No; but I got out of the mess with something about Pinero’s play called The Thunderbolt. Could I explain the nature of the Aurora Borealis? No; but in my collection of walking sticks was one that Vesta Tilley used in her song

"The Midnight Son." Surely Sir, something must be wrong when what one says doesn’t matter so long as one says it glibly? "The readiness is all," said Hamlet. But I submit that he was thinking of the jump into the next world and not down "some Questionmaster’s throat. Bs * * LADY once wrote to William Archer to ask what was the good of novels like Hardy’s Jude _ the Obscure and plays like Ibsen’s Little Eyolf? That canny, dour, and responsible critic replied that he should be’ puzzled to say off-hand what was "the good of" the Oedipus or of Othello. Yet give Archer five minutes in which to assemble his theories about’ tragedy, end half-an-hour in which to put them into 120 words, or one minute’s talking, and nobody could have done it better. % * %* HERE are many questions I should like to ask some eminent men, Let me imagine a Brains Trust composed of the Archbishop of Canterbury, the Astronomer Royal, the President of the Psychical Research Society, the President of Our Dumb Friends’ League, and the President of the Royal Academy. I should pray His Grace to tell me in what way the Anglican view of Heaven differs from the Scottish notion of Sunday afternoon, and whether it is fair to condemn some dreamy Oriental or full-blooded Turk to so refrigerative an Elysium. I should ask the President of the Psychical Research Society why the dead, communicating with us through mediums, never tell us whether they eat, drink, sleep, laugh, cry, cough, sneeze, sit, stand, loll, wear clothes, shave, brush their teeth and so on, but waste their time and ours babbling how this is Aunt Julia being very happy, especially now her favourite cat has joined her. * By we "THE wolf shall dwell with the lamb." I should desire the President of Our Dumb Friends’ League to tell me whether he would countenance such fraternisation, since whatever brings about meekness in .the wolf must encourage ferocity in the lamb. Some little time ago I saw a picture by Matisse showing a two. dimensional young woman sitting on a chair holding a cup to her lips but with her elbow resting on the floor. Matisse being a great master, I should demand of the President of the Royal Academy to explain in what way anatomical distor- tion (a) increases beauty (b) does not matter (c) adds significance, or (d) what that significance amounts to. Would Mr. Munnings give a horse five legs if the extra limb "equated the spatial balance with the rhythmic chiaroscuro"? * By % HERE are, I have no doubt, satisfactory answers to all these questions. In fact I could answer them myself. But not point-blank. Nor do I believe that any of the distinguished Brains Trustees I have mentioned (continued on next page)

would be able to think on the Spur of the moment of the best 120 words. Second thoughts are best. Why, Sir, should listeners be fobbed off with first thoughts? MY PROPOSAL: That whoever is to answer first shall have had notice of the question, after which the others may if they desire, volunteer such impromptu opinions as seem to them to have value. Surely listeners know by this time that the fun of tripping-up a Brains Trustee just doesn’t happen. That we can always cloak our ignorance by turning on the taps of mellifluous bosh, personal reminiscence, or more or less apposite anecdote. * * "HE object of this letter, Sir, is to ask why the public should not be allowed to take the Brains Trust seriously. And whether, with this in view, Trustees should not be given the time necessary for the preparation in tabloid form of opinions worth listening to? Yours faithfully.

JAMES

AGATE