LISTENINGS

New Zealand Listener, Volume 6, Issue 147, 17 April 1942, Page 11

LISTENINGS

Perpetrated and illustrated by

KEN

ALEXANDER

searching for a neat, brief title for the present war. A pressman reminded him that wars are usually not named until they are over; he cited the Hundred Years War and the Seven Years War. It is possible that when this war is over everybody will be too tired of it to call it anything but finished. In the meantime, there are a few names suitable for it. Hollywood, of course, will eventually call it "The Hitler Follies of 1939-?" or "The End of the Dead-End Kidders." The United States, Britain, Russia and China might call it "The War of Interdependence." Or, seeing that the last war was "The War to End Wars," this one might be called "The War to End Wars That ‘End War.’" Already it has been called the War of the Ruses, The Bore War (premature), The War of Extermination, Hitler’s Mistake and The Big Stoush. Two of these titles will have to await confirmation, until the time. comes to wage peace. 1: is reported that Mr. Roosevelt is

But Mr. Roosevelt wants a short title to cover the whole shooting match. "The Big Shot" might do; and when Hitler is rubbed out, it can easily be changed to " The Big Shot Shot!" The respective parties to the fracas have "different names for it. Early in the game, Goebbels used up all his fortissimos and superlatives. Now he is satisfied to call it maybe "The Defence of Dictatorship-At Home and Abroad." Musso has several good names for it, but his wife won’t let him use them. But whatever officialdom calls it, it. will remain for you and me just "The War." A war by any other name--