LISTENINGS

New Zealand Listener, Volume 6, Issue 141, 6 March 1942, Page 12

LISTENINGS

Perpetrated and illustrated by

KEN

ALEXANDER

T is said that Hitler has recalled ] von Brauchitsch as leader of the army, partly because Adolf is suffering a nervous bout but mainly due to Adolf’s failure to prevent the puncture of the German lines in so many places-practically a blowout. It is easy to believe both reasons, but it’s unlikely that Adolf admitted his shortcomings as a military mender of punctures. This is how he probably put it over with Brauchitsch: "Ah, come in, Brauchitsch. How’s the health? Not sickening for anything fatal like so many of my generals, I hope! Funny thing-but something told me_ they would die suddenly. Some malicious people infer that I bumped them off. A slander. You know how it is in wartime. Guns will go off pop and if people stand in front of them what can they expect? As a, matter of fact I’m not too well myself. I’m run off my feet. Mind you, I can still lead an army to victory if I put my mind to it. I’m leading them into Germany and then I'll close the frontier. If this fails I'll lure them right through Germany into France where they'll starve to death because we've eaten everything there. "Confound it, Brauchitsch. Don’t look at me like that! You know how I hate people looking through me. Gen---EE

erals who see through me don’t ever enjoy good health. I’m not feeling at all well myself. I think I’m sickening for something. I get stabbing pains in the back and my collar feels too tight. My astrologers say it’s only my star wobbling under the influence of the red star and the Great Bear — curse them! I think I'll retire for a while and calm myself by reading fairy stories-not by Goebbels!" "The Three Bears is a good one," says Brauchitsch Hitler throws a three-pointer and is carried away screaming: "Bears, bears, . bears! Everywhere bears! Haven't I enough to bear with the Russian bear. It’s unbearable! Br-r-r! I’m going to have one of my nasty re-turns again!"