LiSTENiNGS

New Zealand Listener, Volume 5, Issue 123, 31 October 1941, Page 14

LiSTENiNGS

Perpetrated and illustrated by

KEN

ALEXANDER

War-On The Air

afe becoming an international front-line weapon. Since this war began, we have had the battle of the air and the battle of the waves. Now we have the battle of the airwaves. Russia chips into German radio bombasts until Goebbels doesn’t know whether it is he talking or whether his so-called conscience has slipped its collar and taken the air. Germany drives wedges of Teutonic tonsil-tortures into the Russian programmes. Italy breaks in on the Soviet air news with a mess of sibilant solecisms: And now the BBC is having its well-bred accents shattered by Nazi farmyard noises impersonating human speech. But Britain remains calm. The Nazis will never understand Mr. Begum-Jones of "The Laurels," and Joe Buggins of Pie Lane, The British are serious people, who take their humour ig is teported that radio ghost voices

seriously. The BBC, with typical thoroughness, is takifig steps to ascertain what entertainment value, if any, these Boche B.B Seizures have with the British public. The news is serious enough these days, but never so serious that a little light relief is not welcomed by Mr. Begum-Jores and Joe Buggins. Since Lord Haw-Haw was mysteriously snatched off the air by the mailed fist, Britain misses its little bit o’ fun from Germany. Haw-Haw was good; so good that Goebbels evidently decided that there was too much hee-hee in HawHaw. The BBC is looking for new crosschannel "funnies" to take its place. We suggest that it would be a boon to the BBC if these foreign interjectors could be organised into a humour session with the title, say, of "Axis Antics." It’s a pity for these boys to waste their unconscious humour on the desert air. Hitler could kick @f by blowing his own triimpet, as usual. He might then

sing "Blighty is the place for me." Then ‘he could give an impersonation of Charlie Chaplin impersonating Adolf Hitler impersonating a Great Dictator, As a final mumber, he could sing "I diddle diddle," with a lyre accompaniment. Dr. Goebbels would give a humorous monologue entitled "Should a doctor tell?", followed by one of his inimitable imitations of a proper gander quacking. Himmler, of course, would make a big hit with: "My little wubber trunchéon," followed by a talk on "Concentration." Mussolini would give a running commentary on Italian military moves and a talk on "the life of the jackal." Petain, Darlan, and Weygand would weigh in with "The three little Vichys." and a farce entitled "Pikers." They might also add some of theit invisible juggling. Rumania’s Antonescu and Hungary’s representative could give a solo rendering of "Horthy keep your tail up." A troupe of Japanese ju-jitsu experts could give a description of how to dodge the issue while sparring for position, a funny talk on how to repair breakages in China, and a comic-tragedy entitled "The yen is mightier than the sword."

If there have to be radio interruptions from Axis adherents, they might as well be as bright as possible. If the British public is to be abtised, the least they ask is for the abuse to be amusing as well as abusing. Berlin papers please copy!