VOT VOS DOT?

New Zealand Listener, Volume 5, Issue 114, 29 August 1941, Page 12

VOT VOS DOT?

"German Shelter Conversation"

outstanding humorist, says Macdonald Hastings in London Calling. His name is Nathaniel Gubbins (it really is his name), and he writes every week in the Sunday Express. Unblushingly I have stolen an extract from one of his columns, not simply because it is funny, but because Nathaniel Gubbins touches off, as nobody else has so far succeeded in doing, the lighter side of the war. It is a sample of a regular feature called "German Shelter Conversation." The reason I have chosen it is because the phrase which begins the column-it never changes from week to week-has become a part of our everyday wartime language: "Vot vos dot?" "Dot vos a bompf." "All der-time dere iss bompfs." "Dey say dot Amerika soon vill in der var be." "For saying dot Hans to der concen- | tration camp haf gone. Heil Hitler." "Heil Hitler." "Der shelter gauleiter say dot ve must not Amerika discuss but must der leetle joke make und der merry games play. Dere vos a very fonny joke vich ask ‘Der sausage, vot make him roll?’" " Poddon?" "TI repeat, ‘Der sausage, vot make him roll?’" "Pliss, but I no knowledge haf of vot it vos dot make der sausage roll." "Der sausage, he roll because he der apple turnover haf seen." "Dot very fonny vos. Heil Hitler." "Heil Hitler." "Dere vos anodder very fonny joke vich ask, ‘Vot vos it dot der coal it make him scuttle?’" Ves war has produced one

"Der coal scuttle because he haf cedar legs." " Poddon?" "Tf you not der sense of humour hat you must der ration card forfeit. Der coal scuttle because he haf seed her legs." " Pliss?" "You vill vun more chance haf. Der coal scuttle run because he haf her legs seed (seen)." "Dot very funny vos. Heil Hitler." "Heil Hitler." "Vot vos dot?" "Dot vos a bompf." "Und dot und dot?" "Dot vos two more bompfs." " All der time dere iss bompfs." "Der newspaper Hamburger Blastburger Blitzenblatt say dot ve must for victory der harder vork." "Der Hamburger Blitzbleober Blastblitzer und Damboringzeitung say dot ve must der harder work for der, victory in nineteen-forty-two." "It not long ago vos dot der Hamburger Blobbaster Blastblister und Blasteddamrottnboringzeitung say dot ve will der victory haf in nineteen-forty-vun." : "For saying dot Fritz to der concentration camp haf Sk: Heil Hitler." "Heil Hitler." "Dere vos a very fonny joke vich ask, ‘Vy is it dot der donkey der thistles eat?’" "Vell, vy is it dot der donkey der thistles eat?" "Because der donkey der ass is." "Dot very fonny was. Heil Hitler." "Heil Hitler." "Vot vos dot?" "Dot vos a bompf." "Und dot und dot?" "Dot vos two more bompfs." " All der time dere is bompfs."