THE ROBBER

New Zealand Listener, Volume 5, Issue 108, 18 July 1941, Page 47

THE ROBBER

, NE day Milly Fairbrother was going for a walk with her nurse Gladys Conk when they met a robber in a wood. The robber said give me some money and Gladys Conk said how much money? He said a shilling, and she said I haven’t got a shilling, and he said yes you have. She said well at any rate I shan’t give it to you, and he said if you don’t I shall kill you, Milly was frightened at that but Gladys Conk was not frightened. She said you can’t do that, and he said why not? and she said because I shall kill you first. The robber laughed again and said that’s good, what with? and she said with my umbrella. Now, Milly’s mother had given Gladys Conk a new umbrella for a Christmas

od present. It had a duck’s head on the handle made of imitation silver and she always took it for walks with her, and it was a good thing she did because of the robber. The robber’s face assumed a ghastly hue and he said I never thought of that, and Gladys Conk said well you can think of it now. So Gladys Conk killed the robber and he had a lovely funeral with arum lilies, and Milly was allowed to go to it. Well, the next day a policeman came to the back door and asked for Gladys Conk, The cook said what do you want with Gladys Conk? and he said ah, you may well ask. The cook said she is busy ironing and she doesn’t want to have anything to do with policemen, she is too young. And he said she is not too young for me and the judge wants to see her about having a trial. She said what for? and he said for killing the robber. The cook said oh, and he said ah, you may well say oh, So she said well I'll go and fetch her. So they had a trial and the judge was a very kind man and he liked Gladys Conk because he had had a little girl of his own called Gladys, but she was grown up now and she had a little girl called Gladys Mary, And the judge had sent her a book of poetry for her birthday and she had learned three pieces in it. And two of her aunts had given her two fountain-pens, one for black ink and one for red, and one of the mistresses of the school she went to had borrowed the one for red ink to correct exercises with. So the judge said to Gladys Conk don’t be frightened, and she said no, I won't. And he said that’s right, why did you kill the robber? She said well, wouldn’t you? and he said yes, I would. So the judge gave Gladys Conk a watch which he paid for out of his own money, and afterwards she married the policeman and had several wedding presents, She loved him rather, but he was aggravating, and the cook said of course everybody could please themselves, but she wouldn’t have married him herself, not if he had been the only man in the world. 2 They had six children, five girls and one little policeman, and when Milly went to tea with her she had brown bread and butter with apricot jam and macaroons and was allowed to bath the baby. | (From " Simple Stories," by Archibald Marshall.)