BARGAIN - HUNTING

New Zealand Listener, Volume 5, Issue 107, 11 July 1941, Page 41

BARGAIN - HUNTING

FORTNIGHT past the shortest day. There’s a hint of spring in the air which tells the keen huntswoman that the open season for bargains has begun. Like any other sport bargain-hunting demands much of its devotee, You need a quick eye, good co-ordination, and plenty of self-confidence, You must first of all spot your bargain, then work out some plan of campaign for its capture, then (most difficult of ‘all) by the exercise of physical qualities of speed and brute strength, and mental qualities such as personality and push, you must ensure that your olaim to the article in question is the first to be recognised. I am a very bad bargain-hunter. But in spite of that I’m very keen. When I was at school I was a very bad hockey player, but I did enjoy playing. After all it doesn’t matter whether you win or lose-it’s the game itself that’s important. ‘" * * ARGAIN-HUNTING differs from most sports in that you can make your own rules, This, I need hardly point out, is a great advantage. On the other hand there is comparatively little literature available dealing with this absorbing pursuit, and one therefore has not the benefit of the experience of others. I propose to remedy this by suggesting a few basic precepts which all bargain-hunters should commit to memory before the commencement of the season: 1. Be early, The majority of bargains are lost because of those extra few minutes in front of the mirror. After all, it doesn’t matter what you look like before a bargain sale. 2. When you errive at the shop there will probably be a large number of competitors there before you, banked up in front of the main door. Do not be unduly depressed. Find a side door of your own. Remember those lines of Arthur Clough’s: "Not by eastern windows only When daylight comes, comes in the light, In front the sun climbs slowly, slowly, But westward look! The land is bright!" which. in terms of bargain-hunting simply means that side doors open at the same time as front Of course any such manoeuvre is worse than useless if you are not familiar with the

lie of the land. You may find yourself involved in Gent’s Mercery when what you really want is Mantle Showroom. So we will suppose that the day before you have explored the shop thoroughly and by the trial and error method have discovered the quickest way to get to the, department you require. (Remember, however, to allow for other factors which will be present on the day itself. E.g., if you decide that the elevator is quicker than the stairs take into consideration the fact that overcrowding may cause a breakdown and you may be stranded for several hours between floors while others pounce upon your destined prey.) 3. As soon as you get to the right department seize upon an athletic attendant and dispatch her downstairs for the required bargain, Do not waste valu-

able minutes seizing a fellow hunter and having to apologise at length. If you have an alternative choice state it in the same breath so that if defeated on one issue you may snatch victory on another, This is where I always fail, I wander round in an agitated manner trying to attract the attention of an assistant. I look so harassed that everybody mistakes me for an assistant and I waste valuable time in explanations. Finally I see my bargain being borne through the milling crowds and seize upon it. But too late! It is the prize of another! * os * N hour later, when the tide of humanity has ebbed, I alone am left stranded in the store among the piles of washed-up wreckage. An assistant takes pity on me. "How about trying this on?" she says, holding up a garment as limp as dead seaweed. I drift into a fitting room, Later I emerge into the clear sunlight, a parcel under my arm. "What did you get?" my friends ask. I display it. There is an embarrassed silence. Then I say apologetically, "It was four guineas-reduced to thirtynine and six." They smile wanly. rie * * PEOPLE occasionally point out to me that the old enthusiasm for bargainhunting is dying out among the new generation. Certainly men have never taken this age-old sport seriously, and the modern girl may tend to copy this attitude. It is for this very reason that I should hate to see its disappearance. Bargain-hunting is almost the only sport exclusive to women,

The opponents of bargain-hunting contend that it is expensive. But then so is big game hunting, And whereas the trophies of the latter adorn merely the walls of some little-used study, the trophies of the less blood-thirsty sport can be seen to advantage by thousands every day of the year. For every bargain that languishes in its box there are at least three that lead a normal, useful, decorative and healthy life. Let us therefore fight to preserve our ancient sport and pastime from the unintelligent criticism of the ignorant and let us, by diligent and well-directed propaganda, ensure that it receives its due meed of honour.