LISTENINGS

New Zealand Listener, Volume 5, Issue 107, 11 July 1941, Page 15

LISTENINGS

Perpetrated and illustrated by

KEN

ALEXANDER

Reasoning Without Reason

T is reported that Hitler had the brass to hope that by waging war’on Russia he would not only heal the NaziBritish breach, but would actually gain the support of both John Bull and Uncle Sam in a common drive against Communism.

This brand of Q.E.D. reasoning was done so much better by Messrs. Euclid and Algebra. Hitler believes that desire is the handmaiden of action; but, as a dictator, he forgets to consult the handmaiden’s union. He probably is still wondering what went wrong. with the reasoning that allowed Winston Churchill and Franklin D. to declare that they would support any "ism" teady to take a poke at the dead-end kidders of Europe. He forgot that when one goes ratting one helps anything that is capable of catching rats. But it would be unreasonable to expect addled Adolf to see any viewpoint except the rat’s. Having ratted on everyone possible, he expects to find rats in every attic. The idea lurking in the padded cells of his brain was that after the democracies had helped him to destroy Communism he could resume his attempt to destroy the demoeracies. It was one of those simple ideas

which presupposes that the chief actors are as simple as the idea. It is amazing that Hitler did.not go the whole hog-grunts, and all-by broadcasting to Britain a packet of snivel-cum-sob, in the following strain: "It is a lie to say that I have not always loved Britain. We spring from the same stock-but we Germans sprang higher. It cut me to the heart when Britain attacked me while I was defending myself against Poland. There is really nothing between us-except a lot of water, worse luck! "Tt is a lie to say that I attempted to invade England, The truth is that my admiration for England is so high that I want to send barge-loads of young German soldiers across the Channel to show them your wonderful seaside resorts in order that they might learn the best spots in which to spend their summer holidays when this ridiculous misunderstanding between us is cleared away. It is a mistake to say that I sent over my air fleet to attack England. My airmen simply flew over to take photographs of your beauty spots for their albums, They never dropped bombs. They were carrying ‘them and somehow they worked loose. It is madness to think that my U-boats have attacked a single English ship, They may have run into them while pleasurecruising in the dark. Accidents will happen. It is a pity all this love I bear Britain cannot be turned to account against Russia who treacherously attacked my mere million men when they stepped over the frontier to shake hands.

"Britain! I turn the face of friendship toward you! Don’t smack it! We will beat Communism and then-but one thing ‘at a time!"