LISTENINGS
Perpetrated and illustrated by
KEN.
ALEXANDER
ESSCAPE!
HERE are a few headlines the newspapers missed: HESSTOUNDING HESSCAPADE HITLER IN HESSTERICS! Cries, "My Kingdom for a Hess!" IDENTITY HESSTABLISHED And that will be enough of that.
We regard it as most fortunate that it was Hess and not someone such as Ribbentrop who escaped. You can’t do much with a name like Ribbentrop. It won't even rhyme with "skunk." Goering would not have been so bad. We could have said, "Goering, Goering, Gone." But, would it have been worth the risk? We notice that the poets have been strangely silent about Hess. The name was practically made for rhyming, and we hasten to make the most of it. For instance: Twinkle, twinkle, Rudy Hess Now you've made the world to guess, What it was that made you fly, Up above the world so high. When you did a moonlight flit In a one-way Messerschmitt
What was it that made you go? Was it Himmler’s Gestapo? Hitler says you caught the bus All for Peace-He’s tellin’ us! Twinkle, twinkle, Rudy Hess You have left a norful mess In the precincts of the ReichDo you think ’twas very nicesh? Twinkle, twinkle Rudy Hess, We're convinced, we must confess, That you took your moonlight spin , Merely to preserve your skin Knowing, if the lead should sprinkle, You would quickly cease to twinkle. Nazis know, much to their cost, He who Hessitates is lost. Likewise, while the mood is on us: It was the Messer Hessperus That sailed across the sea, And Rudolf took his photographs, To prove identity. Duff Cooper murmured "These I guess, Could only be of Rudolf Hess. No other child or man-my hat!Would ever choose to look like that." There’s nothing left that rhymes with "Hess" : With which my feelings to express. Whatever else Hess did, he gave the swastika a nasty blow. It will take some straightening out.
The experts say that Hess is sane but it yet has to be proved why he was a Nazi and a friend of Hitler for twenty years, It doesn’t make sense. But nothing does in Germany. It is supposed that he saw the writing on the wall-that Hitler "took on" and Hess took off. Wall-writing in Germany is done with a salvo and is known as a "bullet-doux." No reply is expected. Hess decided to discontinue the correspondence. Apart from theories, the fact remains that Hess was one of the thugs who made Germany fit for horrors, and with him behind bars Britain is one skunk up on the Nazis. What a pity we can’t get a safe and private screening of Adolf screaming. "Oh, to be in Germany now that Hess is here!"
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New Zealand Listener, Volume 4, Issue 101, 30 May 1941, Page 15
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453LISTENINGS New Zealand Listener, Volume 4, Issue 101, 30 May 1941, Page 15
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Copyright in the work University Entrance by Janet Frame (credited as J.F., 22 March 1946, page 18), is owned by the Janet Frame Literary Trust. The National Library has been granted permission to digitise this article and make it available online as part of this digitised version of the New Zealand Listener. You can search, browse, and print this article for research and personal study only. Permission must be obtained from the Janet Frame Literary Trust for any other use.
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