LISTENINGS
Perpetrated and illustrated by
KEN
ALEXANDER
THE DEVIL TO PAY |
ITLER said lately that he was sure God Almighty would not desert a nation surrounded by enemies. This belief amounts to double-crossing his ally the devil. But one day Nick will come up to lodge a protest in person. It would be interesting to listen-in to the rival fiends. Somewhat after this style. Hitler and Goering are discussing the military advantage of bombing hospitals and orphanages when-zouff!-there is a ball of sulphurous smoke and the "ould bhoy " himself stands where Goering was, but isn’t. Hitler gasps, "Well, I'll be d--d!" "You are," says the devil. "And that’s the first true truth you’ve spoken. Not that I hold it against you. We all slip at times." "B-but where’s Goering? He was here now he’s gone." spluttered the Fuhrer. "Not gone! Merely incorporated in the lower Reiches!" says the devil. "But I need Goering," shrieks Hitler.
"So do I," says Nick. "I just borrow bodies as I need them, I often hop into Goering’s skin. Sometimes I get under Goebbels’s hide, too, but I find it a bit windy. But, for serious hellishness I prefer you." "This is an honour, excellency," simpers Hitler. "As you know, I bow to no man, but this is different." "Bet your sweet after-life it’s different!" hisses the devil, coming over distinctly incandescent. "And if you think you can make a hell of Europe in opposition to the real Mackay you’re crazy. Our arrangement was co-operation, not competition-representation, not impersonation. I hear people saying ‘ That fiend Hitler.’ Stealing my thunder, huh? They'll be calling me Pansy next. It fair burns me up. Why, you owe everything to me, you phony little fire-eater! Even though you have modernised your plant, mass destruction still can’t compare with the old hand craft. Believe me, there'll be the devil to pay before you’re through."
"I’m only playing hell-on-earth," whimpers Hitler. "And I always give you credit. Surely you've read ‘Mein Kampf!" "Credit nothing!" sneers the devil. "Didn't I hear you trying to make a pact with Heaven? Fifth-column stuff! Heaven, indeed! You frightful little snob! You stay where you belong orIll be seein’ yuh."
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New Zealand Listener, Volume 4, Issue 83, 24 January 1941, Page 15
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364LISTENINGS New Zealand Listener, Volume 4, Issue 83, 24 January 1941, Page 15
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Copyright in the work University Entrance by Janet Frame (credited as J.F., 22 March 1946, page 18), is owned by the Janet Frame Literary Trust. The National Library has been granted permission to digitise this article and make it available online as part of this digitised version of the New Zealand Listener. You can search, browse, and print this article for research and personal study only. Permission must be obtained from the Janet Frame Literary Trust for any other use.
Copyright in the Denis Glover serial Hot Water Sailor published in 1959 is owned by Pia Glover. The National Library has been granted permission to digitise this serial and make it available online as part of this digitised version of the Listener. You can search, browse, and print this serial for research and personal study only. Permission must be obtained from Pia Glover for any other use.
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