LISTENINGS

New Zealand Listener, Volume 4, Issue 80, 3 January 1941, Page 13

LISTENINGS

Perpetrated and illustrated by

KEN

ALEXANDER

NAZTY BOYS

HE other day the BBC commented that one of Britain’s most perplexing post-war problems will be the re-humanising of Nazi youth, educated to the doctrine of violence and the glorification of homicide.

When Hitler has committed suicide by swallowing his own threats and an infuriated microphone has had the last word with Goebbels we might expect to hear such radio tit-bits as: "Franz Hoggenschmidt of Potsdam was chided by the magistrate for putting prussic acid in his father’s beer. The boy said he didn’t think there was any harm in it. There was plenty more beer. His father had refused to let him shoot up the school inspector; the other boys did it and he felt out of it. The magistrate said he understood; he had been a boy himself once- But, after all, beer was beer and Franz had no right to spoil it. Still, as Franz’s father wouldn’t need it any more he would dismiss the case. He agreed that it was only a boyish prank." "The point waS raised at an inquest in Berlin as to whether an office boy is entitled to shoot his boss in office hours. Defending counsel maintained that the boy had no option as he would be entitled to overtime if he did it after five o'clock. The boy, Hans Snigglesnich, said that he didn’t know why he did it except that he felt an urge to express himself. He didn’t think it would matter; business was very bad. The coroner pointed out that shooting bosses in office hours was liable to distract the staff; it would be better in future to grease the stairs. He brought in a verdict of death from natural causes. While not condoning the boy’s action he thought he had made rather a neat job of it." "A public school was blown up at Bludzblitz. The schoolmaster went up with the school. He did not come down with it. Herrman Pigznout, the head prefect, said it only a harmless ‘rag’; the school was breaking up soon, any-

way. They were all good boys at heart; there had been only ten fatal accidents in the class during the term, not counting the pupil-teacher who would referee the annual Rugby match. He contrasted his boys with those of a rival school where only one pupil was left to receive the good-conduct medal on _ presentation day. The judge said that schools were not too plentiful and public property must be protected: He advised the boys to stick to pistols in future."

"Tittle Fritz Gruntz, while playing with his whistling bomb, was reprimanded by his nurse; he flung the bomb at her. His mother said the nurse was a good nurse as nurses go, and now she has gone. Little Fritz was a jolly little fellow but he certainly was hard on nurses. Teething was the trouble. Yet he fretted like anything if they took away his bomb. What was a mother to do? Good nurses were so difficult to find-especially when they left like Fritz’s nurses did." But perhaps it won’t be as bad as all that. Give the little fellows time and they will solve the problem between themselves.