"BLITZ" HUMOUR
A Third Refusal Somewhere in the North-west an enemy bomb fell close to the cottage of an old lady who lived by herself. The bomb did not explode and the A.R.P. wardens went to tell her she must leave the cottage. "Oh, aye," she said. " Will you tell me why?" "Hitler’s dropped a time bomb outside your doorway," replied a wag among the wardens. "It may go off any minute and blow you up." "Well, look you here," said the old dame. "I’ve refused to leave this house for tlandlord; I’ve refused to leave for t’bailiffs; and I’ll be hanged if I’ll leave it for Hitler." Nothing to Bite On Overheard on the bus: " That was a very short air raid the other night, wasn’t it?" " Yes-hardly worth putting my teeth in for." Why Worry? On a wayside pulpit outside a church in a heavily bombed. London area: "Don’t worry. Your mountain to-day may be a molehill to-morrow."
"Next Please" A South London barber who has had the upper part of his shop blown away has put up this notice on his door: "T have had a close shave. What about you?" * * * Members of a London chess club are annoyed at having to stop playing when the sirens sound, "Chess," said one, "requires concentration, and while playing we can’t really spare attention for things going on outside."
First Things First It was a full five minutes since the wail of the sirens had given their warning, but the church congregation was still engaged in its devotions. "Why haven’t you told them?" The question was addressed to the churchwarden standing outside the building, who was indeed posted there for that very purpose. "Well, you see, the bishop’s preaching this morning, and, besides -we haven't taken the collection yet!" + * * Woman in North London at height of raid: "I liked last night’s searchlights better, These patterns aren’t so good." * * * During one night’s raid Welsh soldiers who entered a: shelter near the Haymarket delighted other inmates by singing "Sweet and Low." * * * When the manager of a London cinema announced the raid from the stage on a recent night, he began: "I suppose you know why I am here. , ." The audience roared with laughter. * * A newspaper contents bill seen in the City: To-day’s Menu! Siren Soup, Heinkel Hot-pot, Jaguar Jelly.
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https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/periodicals/NZLIST19401227.2.3.8
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New Zealand Listener, Volume 4, Issue 79, 27 December 1940, Page 3
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387"BLITZ" HUMOUR New Zealand Listener, Volume 4, Issue 79, 27 December 1940, Page 3
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Copyright in the work University Entrance by Janet Frame (credited as J.F., 22 March 1946, page 18), is owned by the Janet Frame Literary Trust. The National Library has been granted permission to digitise this article and make it available online as part of this digitised version of the New Zealand Listener. You can search, browse, and print this article for research and personal study only. Permission must be obtained from the Janet Frame Literary Trust for any other use.
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