SAY "ONE-ONE-ONE" SAYS THE DOCTOR

New Zealand Listener, Volume 3, Issue 75, 29 November 1940, Page 3

SAY "ONE-ONE-ONE" SAYS THE DOCTOR

Examining The Health Of Young New Zealand

(By

ROOKIE

doctor, and gives you a tap over the clavicle, or whatever it is. Someone else, somewhere else, is saying "ninety-nine" and having his fifth rib tuned in on the stethoscope’s wavelength. Around the partition a man is doing "knees bend," with some difficulty, and has a tale to tell about a stiff knee. It is the man power from the second ballot going through its paces, and there is a remarkable variety of flesh in the examination rooms at the barracks. S AY ‘"one-one-one" says the Half of us, ninety per cent. of us, have not the faintest idea what it is all about, except that the stethoscope listens to our tubes and pumps, and the mercury in the graduated scale learns all about our blood pressure. The eye test is not difficult if you’re normal; but the simple hearing test is sometimes complicated by a lorry in low gear out in the street. Filling in Forms We go along at the appointed time and a sergeant takes time off from telling a naturalised Italian what his age means to the military authorities, to hand out forms on which we fill in-some with a good deal of thought and labour — all sorts of details about ourselves and our parents and our loyalties to God and the King and their generals and officers. About an hour later we get into the examination room and strip off. It’s a warm day, but we’re allowed to keep our pants on until the " knees-bend" stage comes along. First our height is wanted, then weight, and while he’s doing this the N.C.O. calls out details of our complexions, prefacing it occasionally with that very effective adjective ‘" schoolgirl." But he means well, and is good humoured. After this cursory preliminary we get drafted in pairs, or fours, into a room where four doctors go through a routine that would bore them if human beings were not so variable in form and fitness. Hands, Knees and Boomps-a-Daisy! First there’s a short questionnaire to establish a case history if there is one. Any accidents? Any illnesses? And so on. Then an eye test. Ordinarily good eyesight will pick up the letters very easily. An ear test-one hand over one ear and then over the other, while the doctor speaks gently, asking questions. Then close your eyes and touch your nose with both hands. It’s strange the number of people who, presumably, could not feed themselves neatly in the dark, After that knees bend and arms upward stretch. A flexing of joints and muscles. A hammer on that nerve below the kneecap.

Then air is pumped under a tight bandage tied over the bicep and the blood pressure registered. There are various listenings and tappings about the chest and back. "Ninety-nine," and " one-one-one " come in at this stage. And that’s about all. Pants, shirt, collar and tie are rescued, the stud found,

and the balloteer, once more clothed and, still in his right mind, is shown the attesting office, where he collects his seven bob for the day, takes the oath, learns the result. of the examination, and is given an order to present himself for X-Ray if his physical condition Werramts the trouble.