Was His Face Red?
T was found necessary to send down a_ whole British regiment to the Moplah country to restore order. The season of the year was the hottest of the hottest, so most of our marching was done at night, just as well perhaps, as it helped to hide my
blushes on this particular occasion. I was in charge of the advance baggage guard at least a mile ahead of the main column. We were in friendly country. Coming to a bend in the road, I saw by the ‘lights of some torches that the road was blocked. I made haste to see what had happened. Getting closer, I was greeted with the most diabolical sounds. Eight
native priests each armed with long, home-made trumpets, sounded a fanfare in my honour. No tune of course-just noise. They salaamed in greetingplaced a garland round my neck, and sprinkled rose water liberally over me. Then one spoke a welcome, of which I didn’t understand a word. I replied briefly in English, which in turn they didn’t understand. The next stage in the welcome was a present of some very sweet sort of cakes and two green milk coco-nuts prepared for drinking. Have you ever tried drinking the contents. of a fully-grown milky coco-nut right off without a stop? It’s a lovely thirst
quencher, but it’s not easy to do. Multiply this by two, and you can appreciate what I had to do in the interest of good manners and native etiquette. Day was just breaking and I could hear the main body . approaching, and then there was a voice at my elbow whispering to me in perfect English, "Are you the Commanding Officer?" I whispered back, "No." He suggested something to the effect that I’d somewhat spoilt the party, so I took the hint and made myself scarce while the going was good. My adviser was an English Police Officer who had appeared on the scene from nowhere and realised that I had stolen the thunder of the Commanding Officer; in fact I had done everything wrong, even to overloading my tummy with the milk of
two coco-nuts.-
-("Just Welcomes," by Major
F. H.
Lampen
2YA October 10).
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New Zealand Listener, Volume 3, Issue 70, 25 October 1940, Page 7
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368Was His Face Red? New Zealand Listener, Volume 3, Issue 70, 25 October 1940, Page 7
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