PATRIOTISM

New Zealand Listener, Volume 3, Issue 53, 28 June 1940, Page 9

PATRIOTISM

By

G.D.

H.

Scene: A meeting of the Ladies’ Patriotic League in the Erewhon Public Hall. A dozen women are sitting round a table, which is covered with buttons, pins, scissors, needles, etc. Everyone is talking at the top of her voice. Now, have you all. got something to do? That’s right. Those that can knit make way at the table for those that can not knit, so that those that can not knit can do hussifs instead. All set? No, Mrs. B, the safety-pins have to have four brace, four flyMrs. C.: A brace is two, isn’t it? Mrs. D.: I can’t see what this two-inch nail can be for. My husband saidMrs. E.: Oh, that’s for cleaning their pipes with, Mrs. F.: Is it? I thought it was for picking teeth. # HAIRWOMAN (shouting): Silence, ladies. Mrs. G.: No, scraping out a gun. . Chairwoman (shouting): I thought we discussed all this last time. Mrs, B.: Yes, but did we come to any conclusion? Mrs. C.: I think we decided it was to act as an emergency button. Mrs. D.: Then what are the buttons for? Chairwoman (shouting): Now, ladies, I think we had better begin our meeting. I call upon Mrs. E. to read the minutes. Mrs. E.: Well, I’m afraid there’s only one minute. It was decided not to have any afternoon tea. Can anyone remember anything else happening? Mrs. H.: I believe we spent the rest of the time discussing the two-inch nail. Mrs. G.: Well, what my husband says, isChairwoman (shouting): All those in favour of these minutes being correctAll: Aye!

Mrs. F.: All the same, I do think it would have been nice to have just a cup of tea! Chairwoman (shouting): The next business is, should some effort be made to raise further funds? Mrs. M.: Well, where do the funds go? I heard that the GovernmentMrs. H.: Really, Mrs. M, I won’t sit here and listen to you calling His Majesty’s Government a set of thieves. Mrs. M.: Of course, I never meant anything of the kind, Mrs. H. But I do think we ought to get the credit for any effort we make. Mrs. L.: I should think it would be sufficient if the boys got any comforts we make, Mrs. M.: No, but you see, it’s the principle of the thing. Now my husband says he heard that the GovernmentChairwoman (shouting): And we are asked to appoint one lady, a very tactful and discreet lady, to be on the Advisory Committee in case of any distress amongst soldiers-er-dependents-or-All: Oh, I shouldn’t like that, It’s notChairwoman (shouting): The whole thing must be treated extremely confidentially. Mrs. E.: Oh, by the way, I had a request from Porky Peabody that we should supply him with a pair of pyjamas.

uog Mrs. F, Mrs. G, Mrs. B and Mrs. D.! I wonder why Porky hasn’t any pyjamas? Mrs C and Mrs H.: But surely they "don’t need pyjamas? Mrs. A.: Well, I think with the high wages they have been getting, they ought to be able to provide their own. Mrs. M.: Of course, it’s the GovernmentMrs. L.: I was told the other day there are enemy agents at work trying to sabotage the war effort. Mrs. B.: Did you really? But of course, we are all completely loyal. We just shouldn’t take any notice Mrs. H.: Yes, you would, You all lap up anything that is said against the’ Government, however wild a rumour it: is. Mrs. M.; Well, we didn’t put it in "power. ‘It’s not our Government. Mrs, H.: Whose is it then? Do vou" mean to say you think you are fit to fight for democracy, if you won't support a Government duly and constitutionally elected’ by the majority, the vast majority, of the people, just because you didn’t voteChairwoman (it is the first time she has not had to shout, for a horrible silence has fallen): I think, Mrs. H, it would be better if we did not allow this to become a political meeting. All but Mrs. H.: Yes. Bringing in politics, when all we want to do is help to win the war," ; Mrs. C.: Will you ‘clear the tables py ladies, I have made: a cup of: tea, _ Chaitwoman (shouting above the pleased exclamations): Oh, but Mrs. C, you shouldn’t. Mrs. C.: It is quite simple, just a cream sponge and a few scones. Oh, I’m sorry, Mrs: L. * + Mrs. L.: I was just in the middle of counting my strong black threads.' Now I've dropped half on the floor, and the large-eyed needles as well. Chairwoman (shouting with her mouth full): I propose a hearty. vote of thanks to Mrs. C. All: Yes, yes: w . Mrs,.M.: What "delicious scones. Mrs. H.;: Isn’t it a treat: to ‘be able to forget about the war for a bit? CURTAIN