STATIC

New Zealand Listener, Volume 2, Issue 52, 21 June 1940, Page 6

STATIC

DENTIST says he stops his own teeth in front of a mirror. It greatly heartens patients in the waiting-room when he pops his head out of the Surgery door and says, "I’m next!" * * by A RETIRING official in Glasgow was. presented with a gramophone and 200 records. The donors had previously ascertained that he had a needle. * * * BUSINESS MAN says that he expects to devote his next holiday to digging up his garden. Well, that ought to provide him with a useful turnover. * * * "[_ONDON restaurants have changed," says an American visitor to the Old Country.-If the meat rationing gets into full swing he will hardly recognise some of the old joints. * * * "WHY we Suffer. ‘Come and hear the Rev. : at three o’clock on Sunday afternoon." Church notice. Members of the congregation apparently feel that it’s time they had a little sympathy from other people. * * a WO Scots were having a drink. Sandy: What is your greatest ambition, Mac? Is there any one thing in the world you would like better than another? Mac: No, another would suit me fine. * * * ""T-HERE was a heated altercation in my house the other day about the shortage of coal," writes a correspondent. Well, that would help. * * * ‘ "THE man who gives way when he knows he is in the wrong," says a magistrate, "is wise." The man who gives way when he knows he is in the right is merely married. * * * A CANADIAN ice-hockey player was taken to see his first Rugby football match recently. He left the ground with a strange impression that peace had been declared. >. * Ea "CYNE grandfather living?" asked the recruiting official. "Is he on your father’s or your mother’s side?" "Oh, he varies, sir; he sticks up for both of ’emsort of ‘neutral,’