STATIC

New Zealand Listener, Volume 2, Issue 48, 24 May 1940, Page 6

STATIC

ITLER has the Firth of Forth on the brain, says a Dutch journalist. We always suspected it was water of some sort. % * * WE read of a Berlin resident whose house has been burgled six times during the black-out. He now makes a practice of searching the premises every evening and putting the burglar out for the night. * * * A NAVAL officer says there’s nothing like brandy as a cure for seasickness, Unless it’s port. * % * A PARISIAN actress recently appeared in a costume made of coloured glass beads. Tinkle, tinkle, little star. ; s: * ce MILLIONAIRE tobacco magnate declares that although he had a public school education he started at the bottom. Just a fag to begin with? * * * HE average woman’s vocabulary is said to be about 500 words A small stock, but think of the turnover. * * * OW’S the wife, George? She’s just had quinsy. Gosh! How many does that make you've got now? * * * I T is so cold in parts of Alaska that a speaker's breath on meeting the air is immediately converted into ice. Politicians there seldom use long words in case they are forced to eat them. % * * 6¢°-HE clock has more than once shaken the alibi of the criminal," asserts an ex-Detective-In-spector. Time, the great squealer. BS * * First visitor: My dear, these cakes are as hard as a stone. Second visitor: I know. But she said "Take your pick," when she passed them round. * * * ] T is usually easy to forgive those people who lie about you. But not so easy with those people who tell the truth. * * * MONG new economy hints is the suggestion of paper instead of linen handkerchiefs. Atishoo paper,