STATIC

New Zealand Listener, Volume 2, Issue 45, 3 May 1940, Page 6

STATIC

Y Government decree, German beer is much weaker; barrels, however, are still marked X, the unknown quantity. BS sk ES A CELEBRATED producer says he wishes he could have engaged Lord Haw-Haw of Zeesen @s a pantomime comedian. Windbag the Wailer? * * * $*"™ RAMPS make their clothes last an incredible time," says an institution official. The reason for this is probably that a rolling stone gathers no moths. % BS * ROF: "Give me the name of the largest diamond." Scholar: "The ace." bo * * A TRAVELLER says that when a reveller in a New York night club became very noisy he was swiftly ejected by a large attendant clad in a polojumper. That would be the chukka-out. : * * * AN astronomer informs us that other planets outside our own galaxy are speeding away from the earth at the rate of several thousand miles a minute. We don’t blame them. * * * AFRETIRED naval chaplain performed eight wedding ceremonies in an hour. Eight knots is good going! * % * A SHUNTING engine is reported to have crashed into some old buffers at an English railway station. Oh well, old buffers should know that it is forbidden to cross the line except by the subway or bridge. * * % A CHALLENGE to execute a delayed parachute drop was accepted by an American solicitor named Partridge. He was game. * * * ¢7] JURING a recent interview with his army chiefs," says a neutral agency, "the Fuehrer was literally beside himself." This supports the persistent rumour that Herr Hitler has a double. ee ane A GIRL at King’s Cross, Sydney, was sent a letter from a friend in England. When the envelope arrived, the letter had been removed and replaced by this signed note from the Commonwealth Censor: "Your friend is well, but she talks too much."