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STATIC

S we are this week paying homage to France, you will naturally find this column full of Gauls of laughter! * * tk FIOR that, we know, we ought to be divided into three parts. Ea * * A COLUMNIST in the Daily Telegraph: An American just returned from Germany told me that the supplies of gin in the Reich are exhausted. At the Hotel Bristol bar in Vienna the barman mixed him an " Axis" cocktail. The ingredients were Russian Vodka and Italian vermouth. "I don’t figure how that is an Axis cocktail," he said. " What does Germany provide?" "Oh," the barman answered with a wink, "Germany provides the ice!" * * % « EAR -!! shoes," requests an advertisement, "and you can always count on your feet." We'd still rather do it on our fingers, though. * * * EMARKS the New Yorker: There is a lively argument over what this European war should be called. Of course, we know what Hitler would like to call it-off! * * * A MAN in the recent floods, we understand unofficially, earned 25 shillings in one day transporting women across a flooded street. He insisted, of course, on the cash-and-carry principle. * , % ACCORDING to a Dutch journalist, "Hitler keeps one eye on Goering and one on Himmler." We've often wondered how a really good squint would go with that moustache! * * * "W HAT is the difference between Germany and India?" Berliners are now whispering to one another in restaurants and cafes. The answer: In India one man fasts for his people. In Germany the people fast for one man. * * "Two competing butchers had shops opposite to each other, and one morning one of them put a notice outside his shop saying, "SAUSAGES, 10d. a lb. To pay more is to be robbed." The other butcher soon replied with a card outside his shop bearing the words, "SAUSAGES, Is. a lb. To pay less is to be poisoned." This was answered by a magnificent announcement reading, "SAUSAGES as supplied to H.M. THE KING." Whereupon the other finally posted a notice outside his shop, "God Save the King."

This article text was automatically generated and may include errors. View the full page to see article in its original form.I whakaputaina aunoatia ēnei kuputuhi tuhinga, e kitea ai pea ētahi hapa i roto. Tirohia te whārangi katoa kia kitea te āhuatanga taketake o te tuhinga.
Permanent link to this item
Hononga pūmau ki tēnei tūemi

https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/periodicals/NZLIST19400329.2.9

Bibliographic details
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New Zealand Listener, Volume 2, Issue 40, 29 March 1940, Page 6

Word count
Tapeke kupu
339

STATIC New Zealand Listener, Volume 2, Issue 40, 29 March 1940, Page 6

STATIC New Zealand Listener, Volume 2, Issue 40, 29 March 1940, Page 6

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