STATIC

New Zealand Listener, Volume 2, Issue 39, 21 March 1940, Page 6

STATIC

WO thirsty tramps walking along the road came upon a bottle filled with white powder. Each sniffed it curiously, not knowing that it was filled with cocaine. In a few minutes the first tramp straightened himself, cocked his hat, and said, "Bill, I’m going to buy all the gold mines and all the diamond mines in the world." The other tramp twirled his stick and replied, " Joe, I don’t think Til sell." * * * SOCIAL success is the infinite capacity for being bored. * Ba Bs W HAT passes for women’s intuition, is often nothing more than man’s transparency. * * * OME people believe anything you tell themif you whisper it! * * * N advertisement in an American paper: Special services dedicating a new heating plant recently installed are to be held at the Free Baptist Church to-day .... and at 7.30 o’clock Rev. Ernest Nelson, of Manistique, will deliver a sermon entitled " The Day of Fire." a * * i N Sydney-where the look-out man in two-up schools is known as a cockatoo-the Magistrate at Burwood Court said to a witness: "You are what is known as a cockatoo?"’ Witness replied, "No I’m not." " You know what I mean by a cockatoo?" asked the Magistrate. " Yes," said the witness, " One of them little white birds." bd x * A MCORVING to a London wag a man got a job at the Ministry of Information. He spent a pleasant week perusing the newspapers, and going for walks in the afternoon. At the end of the week, he had a complaint to make to his superior. "Why is it,’ he asked, "that whenever I go out for a stroll I am continually shadowed by two men?" "Oh," came the reply, "those are your secretaries." * ak x Me: de la Bére (during a debate in the House of Commons:on " Beer"): Toujours de la biére, * % * There was a young man named Jas. Who had a strong liking for das. His rival, named Chas. He greeted with snas. ‘ And called him unmentionable nas.