STATIC

New Zealand Listener, Volume 2, Issue 34, 16 February 1940, Page 6

STATIC

UARDS on the Swiss-German frontier are not on the best of terms. One day a Swiss found on the road a " present from the Germans "- a pile of offal marked " with our compliments." Next morning the Germans found in their road a big pile of butter. The attached note said: "Each side gives what it can spare." bs * End JN the Archbishop of Canterbury's Lambeth Palace grounds is one of the balloons of the balloon barrage known as blimps. The men call it the archblimp. % % * ECAUSE he injured a number of team-mates at practices, a certain American footballer is now known as "Little Sir Wrecker." * bd * D® you pay your income tax? No, and I’m glad I didn’t. How’s that? They sent me another form marked "Final Application" this morning, so it looks as if they are giving it up as a bad job. Be Ed * A. HOLLYWOOD actress was asked in a Press interview if she had any pet aversions. "Oh, yes," she squealed, "I just love golf and tennis." bd ue * AGHorus girl is one who believes in doing things by calves. * * * HERE'S the story about a man who was going to be hanged. They told him he could have anything he liked for his last meal. "Can I have champagne?" he asked. " Certainly," was the reply, " what Vintage would you like?" "1960, sir!" * * * D"® you hear about the Scottish murderer in the electric chair . . . he complained that he was overcharged! * * % VIOLENT clap of thunder over London sent a nervous old lady scuttling into a doorway. "That ain’t "Itler, mum, that’s Gawd," said a small urchin beside her. Bg %* * G K. CHESTERTON used to say he always * got up in a tram to offer his seat to three ladies. * * * WALTER WINCHELL has composed this epitaph on himself: "Here lies Walter Winchell in the dirt he loved so well." ,