STATIC

New Zealand Listener, Volume 2, Issue 27, 29 December 1939, Page 6

STATIC

se E have decided to leave it to the parents whether a boy wears shorts or longs, but to insist that he shall not expose his leg from the middle of his thigh to the middle of his calf."Extract from report on schoolboys’ clothing in a New Zealand paper. Adopting a covering which would leave just the bare necessities, so to speak. % a * A* English comedian complains: "We've been a bit slow over this registration, haven’t we? Why, the Nazis’ numbers have been up for months!" * * * WAat soldiers wearing coats of mail gives the same bright fellow a lyrical inspiration: Is this the secret weapon That poor old Adolf planned? That none of the Nazis have to fight Until they’re all ‘ half-canned’?" * * * WE know a girl who still persists in thinking a black-out is a Negro taking an afternoon stroll. * * * [ee camp food somewhere apparently was not too good because the young recruit went to his commanding officer and said: "Excuse me, sir, but can I see the doctor?" "Which doctor?" "Say, do you think I’m a heathen?" _* * » TyAY= you ever reflected (in your sane moments) that it takes a contortionist to prove that it doesn’t pay to go straight? , * * * WE know a man who was so lazy he gave up walking in his sleep because no one would give him a lift. * * * ALKING of laziness, a navvy was limping along one day, and a passer-by inquired whether he was in pain. "Yus," replied the pick-’an-shoveller, "T got a nail sticking through me shoe." "Then why," asked the passer-by, "don’t you knock it down?" "Wot? In me bloomin’ dinner hour?" * * * A FRIEND of ours told us his breakfast always consisted of a pound of steak, a bulldog, and a bottle of whisky. So we said to him, " What's the bulldog for?" and he replied, "To eat the steak, you mutt." * * * [t is reported that there will be probably a bad _coal shortage in Germany during this war. The Fuehrer, it seems, can’t fuel all the people all the time,